Spent the day yesterday at friends of ours from England who bought a house on the Cape in an area we never got to “the other Cape” in Osterville. It was such a fun day. I forget how much fun seeing true friends can be; and how much it reminds me that I’m surrounded by crazy people for the most part where I live, a place where I have some good aquaintances which I think can be friendships given proper nurturing; though mainly people around here are super problematic.
It was exotic to be in such a heteronormative environment, I must say. Lunch with three generations of a family en plein air. A little boat trip with doggies down to the beach. Tea. Then the appearance of neighbors and cocktails (not for me thanks) and then just a lovely dinner with talking and laughter. I’m completely shagged out today because I stayed up past my usual 9PM bed time but it was really good fun. I think because we don’t have kids we don’t have that experience of, now, being friends with kids as many of our friends are. It makes me sad on one level. I think that’s why I have probably avoided it and stuck with the other groovy ghoulies where I live. But I must say I felt the loss of that lifestyle. Though I try not to compare myself to other people, it’s hard sometime.
I brought this up and the opinion was that it’s good I am verbalizing feeling the loss of would-be parenthood and the “normalcy” of family life. I suppose I’m glad too. Funny how you don’t know how deep something has cut you until you’re faced with it. And I mean it when I say that I might have subconsciously been avoiding environments like that. But now I feel the opposite. I feel like being around more of that sort of thing. I feel like I/we do actually play a part. I think the whole “assistant parent” thing comes into play because we are also a deviation from the normal structure of family and yet we do drop right in. Kids like to see close friends of parents and parents love having the pressure off a bit. Anyway, this year coming up, we are going to be surrounded by many friends with kids and, frankly, I’m so happy about that.
Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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