Libra 20° (October 13)


Yesterday, post Brian meeting, I came up to the room and positioned myself in the doorway of the balcony as the sun was going down but still felt strong. For one I thought it would help my chesty cold; and, second, I was feeling as if I were on holiday for one last hour this so-called summer. But it was warm enough to just be in undies, and I had a little beverage and just chilled. Then I took myself for oysters and crispy white wine. And then returned to the room and just lay on the bed and luxuriated in miles of alone-time, or so it felt. I look forward to the next time I can have that experience but I don’t suspect it will be any time soon. And then I got hungry so I went back to my haunt for yet another clam pizza. To you this might sound like nothing. To me this is decadence of the first order; and for days I’ll be guilty about being that person. Ken Howard as I said yesterday. But that’s okay. I am an eccentric and I know I can go places; but I’m so genuinely grateful and, so, good: I like helping others succeed because it feels like the greatest success. And I am good (at it); it is good to be a part of other people’s good. They can be so appreciative and I feel like Boston is wide open to me.

Creatively I need to make sure the form isn’t frayed. We need to beef up our understanding of what this can be, and what it can’t. We could use some timely elements in the piece. Places where you can insert news of the day; it requires staying au courrant; we might want to bring in more of a musical director? Or have Rene play more piano. I feel you get stuck at the piano; and we might try opening some things up. Lines can and should not be delivered casually. As the actor you need actions. What do you want from us. And through what actions to you achieve your objective. That sort of actory thing can be fun and breathe fresh life into the project.

So Stella came back to Cambridge about 12:30 and we went for lunch. If there is any evidence that I am on some kind of spectrum it’s in my need for the right table in a restaurant. My mother used to move around like Lucy in her own episode. (See what I did there.) I got two soups and a plate of sushi back at Cafe Sushi. I looked up the name of the guy that Seizi was talking about and he and I are already friends on Facebook. Love that. I need to get some personal stationery. And send the kids some books. Then we had a little edgy moment leaving town. But not before we stopped at Central Bottle for charcuterie and cheese and other yummies. Sad the Paradise bar has closed. And where Toscanini’s is is going to be a boutique hotel (with Toscaninin’s back in it). The times they are a changing but then again so am I. And we seem to be merging back to Cambridge. I see myself with a nice apron on and I’m at least twently lbs. lighter than I am right now. I will have an office from which to so all I need to do. And I can get into some kind of routine, finally. And ride my bike—that is the best part. That part of the world is so terribly liveable and lovely. We’ll be able to host friends and travel and stay with friends. And just feel freer than we have the last few years, staying put, school and so forth, without our city dwelling. It’s easier in some ways but not really in the end. And I’m ready with this new auspice to tackle bigger fish.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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