Taurus 25° (May 14)

You in trouble Girl. Funny that the blue book idea seems to be the last thing written down in this book I’m using as a journal. I’m wondering if it doesn’t make sense to put that book into the ether sooner than later. I have a lot on my mind and on my plate today as I hand in final copy; and then the second I sit down to relate to you slash remind myself of what it is I want to say, it magically goes poof, black magically perhaps. In no certain order: I will finish this longsuffering project. And I am of the mind that I will also today go back through the Aries chapters before moving onto the Taureans, well, back through Aries man quickly and then apply a more thoughtful approach to all the rest. I am making things up regarding time. The fact is that three hours is a lot of time not a little time; and also I am very sad and lonely suddenly about family who are gone and friends too, even the one whose actions so impacted my life. He who committed suicide: would that I had ever had the chance to confront him about it all. What would I have said I don’t know. I suppose I could find out by writing into that portion of my work. He wasn’t the only one who tugged at me that way. There was also the great dane. I could always pick them, couldn’t I? Like my relationship with Alnor was no different, in the end then my relationship with Dreger. They really are one in the same. And not dissimilar to that of Remo. I think that when it comes to writing this next year; well let me start that sentence again. I think the trick in writing this this year is to come up with an idea for a personal story. There are a very man I probably shouldn’t tell anyone. I can always go back and insert them, or don’t do anything of the sort. Again, I got lost looking up certain past fellows with whom I shared all my key childhood experiences. It really isn’t the greatest way to function but wow, wow, wow, am I feeling the need for connection. It’s all fine.

So have the awful, let’s just call them people in power already vaccinated? Otherwise how do you explain this all? I cannot remember the last time I was this creatively blocked. And suddenly the daytime is over and I have once again failed to accomplish what I set out to do. What is wrong with me? ‘Tis a very good question. Anyway, as these things go, I don’t know anybody who is really doing anything. I don’t understand why it is people are so mean and crazy. Mean and crazy. This world is feeling so unsafe and way too connected if you ask me. I remember a time when I didn’t know what was going on with thousands of people. I don’t want to know what is going on with thousands of individuals. This is not the life I signed up for. I lived in the most densely populated state in this thing once called a union; and yet my upbringing was so anonymous that on any given day, as a child, preteen, whatever, I was nowhere to be found by the adults in my life for hours on end. Today parents would be sending out search parties for sure. Speaking of a search party, the TV show of the same name has been featuring folks that have performed here at Afterglow, which has been a joy for me, for the most part, I must say. I like to work with words don’t get me wrong. And I’m definitely making some headway. It’s just important to recognize the negative aspect of things, as well, to be sure. I can always take the edge of if I really need to, but I am not feeling the urge as of yet, so I will continue on my path. Hopefully, I won’t go mad in the process. And there are a great many ways to relieve stresses. I very easily convince myself, you see that enough is not enough. But it most certainly is, and the feeling that completion will impart is of the utmost importance at this juncture. I am ahead of the proverbial game.

The following blocks of texs are exceprts from my first year of  Blagues, nos. 271-275  I am reading through all my Blagues, five per day, and posting some samples here. Now, in my sixth year of writing this Blague, but the time I get to my seventh, I will have through all the daily Blagues of my first five years. If that’s confusing I apologize:

I think of my very niche generation as being caught in something of a balance. Stella is convinced we are a kind of lost generation. We grew up changing television channels manually without so much as an answering machine, going out to play for three hours after school without parents having a clue of your whereabouts or shenanigans; we typed papers on electric typewriters, using white-out or corecto-cartridges to fix our mistakes. I studied abroad and would send my parents postcards or, every once in a while, wait for a telephone booth at a post office. In summer, from the time I was seven, I would just be out somewhere in our tiny New Jersey beach town; it’s like our parents had inherited their ancestors insouciance about child mortality or something. Point is, it was a very anonymous time. The millennials know nothing of this. They grew up pressing buttons and going on scheduled playdates. They have helicopter parents and obsessive gaming addictions, cellphones, earphones, headphones, iphones. How do you unplug from consumerist mass conciousness if you’re part Borg? I guess you become a steampunk, opening a donut or honey or vinegar shop and dressing like you just walked out of the pages of a Jules Verne novel. Luckily I still remember what it was like not being a reliant on quantitative values. Nonconformity was the norm, especially for a happy social self-impelled outcast such as myself.

Of course there is a meaning closer to home than the one I’m attaching to this symbol. The original Greek cupbearer is Hebe, the daughter of Zeus and Hera (Jupiter and Juno); and she basically kept all the gods dosed with nectar that was the source of the eternal youth, if not life. She is, indeed, goddess of youth. Like other Aquarian female archetypes, like Iris, goddess of the rainbow (how Aquarian?) and Eos, goddess of the dawn (likewise), Hebe is romantically linked with a human or, in her case, a demi-god, Heracles (meaning glory of Hera)—it’s best to remember that Hebe, though a goddess in her own right, is also Hera in her maiden aspect. All this high-minded mythological mumbo jumbo to say that this degree of the zodiac is about recuperation and getting in touch with the mortal, bodily aspect of self. The soul (or anima, animus) is wedded to the physical body for better or for worse. And your (overactive) mind is not your friend. It will wear you down to the point of exhaustian and even cellular death. As someone who has been burning the menora from both ends, I’m here to tell you that this symbol couldn’t come at a better time for me personally. And it serves as a reminder to all of us. Depending on what planet you might have at this degree of Sagittarius, and how it is aspected by other planets and so forth, your penchant for recuperation might be great or compromised. I for one am ready to get out of my head and into my body. I have afforded myself that luxury for the next five days especially. With our upcoming show at Joe’s Pub written, now is about embodying the words and getting my voice into some semblance of tunefulness. I spend much of my year producing and promoting other people and their shows. My hope is that our friends and fans will turn out for us this December 20 at Joe’s Pub. We are working hard and presenting an entertaining and enlightening program. My only job is to be rested and to do my best and for that I am thankful for today’s oracular reminder of what is at the core of all happiness and success. Chillability.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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