Category: Uncategorized (page 1 of 198)

Gummies

Leo 9° (July 30)

Today my message about going through all our belongings will be misconstrued. I want to say: I have told her a number of times that, with a house with nine furnished rooms, including two offices, packed with housewares and thousands of books, a baby grand piano, plus a basement stuffed with innumerable boxes from our 38 years together, that I can’t simply wait until October to decide who gets what and what goes where. It will be a full-time job for me August, September and October to sort through what can possibly be sold, what items are divided between the two of us, what should go to the dump or into storage. This is informed, of course, by the near impossible task of finding some place for me to live by November 1. There are no rentals on Cape Cod to speak of so I will have to likely make a series of trips elsewhere in Massachusetts to find a suitable rental all while dealing with the enormity of the move. I have put a mover which we’ve used multiple times in the past on hold for October 28, 29 and 30, and we can pick an exact day of those three for them to move things to new homes or put into storage. I have asked her to come to the house soon (she can bring family with her) to go through the house with me and decide who gets what and what can be sold or dumped. There are many boxes in the basement that contain shared items and memories. We have, as I say, thousands of books—those we don’t want can be sold or donated—so we need to do the hard, meticulous work of going through them all. The same with cds and other collected items. I cannot do this alone. As a compromise I have offered to go room by room myself and photograph the contents such that her can make notes on what she wants and doesn’t. I have even offered to stack books on our many bookshelves and in boxes in the basement so she can claim what she wants. She has misconstrued this as my threatening to sell or throw away her belongings which is not at all what was implied nor is it anything I would ever do. If anything, She knows I have a very hard time throwing away anything of mine or hers. I need to express that going through the contents of our near four decades together is emotionally devastating for me. I attach a great deal of sentiment to even the slightest thing. She is much better at throwing things away than I am so I would greatly appreciate her taking the responsibility of coming to the Cape soon and working with me to sort through the material manifestations of our shared life together and not solely burden me with it. I don’t think I can handle the stress and duress on top of the sudden, shocking separation and the loss of our book deal. Plus finding somewhere to live. It is too much for me. We must be out of this house by October 31 at 5PM. I wrote to her to say: I was waiting for takeaway order when I received your note. I wrote you back a bunch of emails by iphone but they will have been filled with typos because my 1.25 readers are too weak and my fingers too fat to properly email from my iphone. Still I hope you got the gist. I would never in a million years mess with your stuff. The whole point of what I’m saying is I need you to tell me now/soon what you want me to keep put aside for you of shared items. And also, what you want to do about old books and so forth. And what furniture you want so that i keep it for you and don’t sell it. We cannot wait until October to go through contents for many reasons. For starters moving company will come in September to give estimate for moving or storing. I need to start the process NOW, not in October. I know if you stop to think for one minute about the logistics you will realize: Oh, right, if I had all that on my plate I would have had to have started yesterday. Four weeks went by before I received the proposed  “separation agreement”. Within days you are sending me notes trying to rush the process of my lawyer, who is just being retained, to get back to you. You asked for patience so please show me the same kindness. I will send you inventory/photos of each room in the house and I will go through basement and stack all the books and photograph those and you can tell me what you want. It dovetails with other conversation. For instance, if we continue working together and A-C gets an office space perhaps all shared (astrology especially) books and some furniture (for meeting clients on Zoom) can go there. Your proposal obviously wants to cut me out of A-C and leave me with an empty shell of Wheel without means for that second company to make any money. Gee thanks. I will put my first round of questions into a document that will be concise. I understand that you are spending money on a lawyer. So too am I. As far as Facebook goes. It is the only source of friendship support I have. I have been totally alone in this house like a ghost for a month. I don’t have any friends here and no family. I will do whatever I want in regard to my own social media because it is my own. You blocked me on all social media so you don’t now have the right to tell me what I can or cannot say as it pertains to my life. Snap.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Waiting On A Friend

Leo 8° (July 29)

I was having a fitful sleep and woke up way to early. And tried to go back but it was another series of panic attack jolts as I fell. I finally just got up and started going through some of my health files. I start physical therapy today. But first I will go to the bank and try to get access to my many shared accounts. Which I do. Only to discover by day’s end that she did indeed move a great deal of money out of a joint business account into another account at another bank over which she has sole control. It’s pretty ridiculous. Anyway, I finally have a handle on what’s been going on, financially and it’s pretty bad. I have to gain strength now and face the uphill battle. Physical therapy went well in any case and I have a pretty good handle on what I need to do to keep my body from revolting while I do all this heavy lifting. I have notes written everywhere that I will need to pull together (on the weekend) to send to her people. It will be important for me to keep in mind that my own lawyer will be reading it. What this process is revealing is just how bloody selfish she is. I am seeing that personality that grew up in her family. I remember my first time having meals with them, when food would be put on the table, she would lunge for it; it was very sad; as if she had to compete to eat otherwise the other greedy guts would eat it all and leave her nothing. I come from way more fucked up a family than she does, don’t get me wrong. My parents are both dead now nearly two decades and my one sibling I haven’t seen since well before the last of the two passed away. She is incredibly dangerous and I haven’t felt safe around her ever. Now here I am completely alone. Like alone alone. And part of the reason why is that I’m an insular character, or have become one, who has alienated people, something I readily admit doing. I seem to now have alienated the one and only person I have ever truly loved. I take responsibility for that. I have to make a start on the larger document I need to send: The following document is divided into two parts. The first is a compendium of logistical questions and concerns I have already put to her, to which I have yet to receive answers or achieve closure. The first part includes minutia. The second part is comprised of questions which are more sweeping and thematic in regard to the “set up” of our personal and professional lives, which have been entwined for thirty-eight years, moving forward—this second part might in some way touch upon points/issues which were outlined in your proposed “separation agreement” (indeed both parts of this document dovetail with points in the agreement) and thus your responses to these more overreaching questions and concerns will inform my conversation with my own counsel to whom I have just mailed a retainer fee. Once he has received that, and he and I have spoken on the larger subject of the separation and divorce, with insights your responses will provide, he will be contacting counsel to make his introduction. I remind you that I have been patient this past month waiting for communiqué from her and her counsel, so I now ask you for the same courtesy.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Last Chance Cafe

Leo 7° (July 28)

People are disappointing. A long lost friend and I rekindled last week and he contacted me saying how he wanted to come over on his day off and be there for me and I was so touched. He was going to walk through the house with me and eyeball all the stuff and help me decide how to deal with it. And then the day came and he didn’t confirm and ultimately didn’t show up citing the fact he got drunk the night before and slept late. He was an asshole then and he is an asshole now. So that’s the end of that story. But it’s okay. I am making certain progress. Look I’m not in bed wailing anymore. I’m up and around. Ish. I really do need a haircut of that I am super certain. I had terrible night sleep again. And my digestion (sorry) is really bizarre. Me the regular person from regular land. I have no idea what’s going on but it isn’t great. Anyway I will start to right things myself soon. I’m going to try the new weed I bought be right back. And yes I smoke weed. I always had to hide it from the school marm but now that she’s gone I can smoke it in any room in the house and also I don’t get wiggy. I realize it wasn’t the pot making me anxious it was the fuzz I lived with. Speaking of which I just bought a little but it’s not very good. It has no kick so I need to remedy that situation and pronto. The S. always wondered where I got it from. From fairies. I get it. If I were to be so low as to spy on anyone’s private word, never mind my loving partner which I would never, ever do—you ask for trouble when you go mining—I’m sure I would have the worst imaginable impression. I can only imagine what S. must think from all the hot air that is bandied around. Mostly nothing ever happens and I will say much to my chagrin. It’s been 99% disappointing trying to find that exact friend all these years. I think I’m chasing a feeling, well not exactly a feeling because it was something I had in my youth. First of all the trauma aspect is what fucked and set me up in this for life. I was always going to be a failure at “normal relationships” from the get-go. I had no chance. When you are sexually abused at a young underage—gosh I was the exact age that G. is now—summer before turning twelve in the sign of Libra. Well a person just doesn’t have a chance. I was telling Roy the other night that the difference between my sixth and seventh year photos was startling. I will upload them both eventually. How am I going to make my way out of this house? Everything goes everywhere indeed and I don’t exactly want to lose everything but I’m willing to if I must. The next dentist appointment will not be fun. I do go out tonight oh yes. I went out to lunch and had oysters and fish and…not chips, salad. And they know me there and they know I love the Caesar sans croutons. I don’t eat French fries ever. Everybody knows that. It’s almost midnight tomorrow, not today tomorrow but tomorrow-tomorrow. I am very lucky to have had the night end with Sarah and Jo and Jo’s other daughter and her partner both names of whom escape me right now. I knew them last night. But you know me (or do you?) unless I repeat a name over and over and over and stare at the person’s face I will never commit it to memory. I remmerbed Jo’s name because her name is Jo. But unless I were to say Sarah, Sarah, Sarah even while staring into that beautiful face, nope, names don’t get to long-term memory easily at all. And she is beautiful now that I think of it. She was especially glowing last night. Something shifted. Well of course what I got was empathy…I think that’s what is was. I do believe that she was so pained by my pain that she could barely stand it. And that was just the night Dobie came to take it all away. That was hard enough. And then next day, BAM, no more book deal. I’m sorry but that is totally on her not me. And the sooner that shit gets resolved the better.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Limbo Down

Leo 6° (July 27)

Well my Equity is paid up which is good. I am doing the best I can to get back into the work. But today will become about one thing and one thing only. I received a legal document for L’s people. It was incredibly difficult to digest and yet hands have now been shown. My throat is sore and I feel a little “breathy”; my windpipe has been feeling rather weird in fact. I wonder if I’ve contracted the dreaded. I surely hope not. It is getting quite dicey out here though. I am wearing my mask everywhere, pretty much. I am making notes already, but it was quite a shock to the system. I want to figure out a way through and out. I have lists of notes of different kind. I have questions that need to be answered before I even address the document itself and what my counsel will need to discuss with me. So basically what I have to do is make categories. I should start with the logistics document the Dobie brought and then combine that with my responses thereto. And then I have asked questions about Moving and I have asked about the Cars and I have asked about “Tangible Property”. I did spend much of the year going through and prepacking the basement. I have done much heavy lifting on that score. That will seem to go unappreciated. We will address the advance. If we are speaking about the name brand we should try to preserve that but it will require effort. This dovetails with a desire to have a shared office. I mean I’m attempting to understand still. So first line of stuff will be to put my questions together that really have not that much to do with the document but answers I’ve been wanting—meanwhile it will dovetail with the would-be agreement. I will have tons and tons to say over the next couple of days. But my only goal tonight was to catch up to where I was and I didn’t do it. It’s a lot and I cut myself some slack but starting August 1, I have to be the most together cat on the block. I’m learning mainly that people are super selfish. I cannot get over what’s going on with La S. in a few days from now. I’m supposed to be writing this in real time so I shouldn’t elude to a supposed future but man oh man, am I ever in for it. Every day seems to bring a new revelation about the reality that I was living. It might as well go to court and result in sex shaming. Really who cares at this point. I lost the one person I truly loved and four thousand of our friends. People side with the woman always I think. Men are pigs, especially if it’s easy, as it is in this case, to clutch pearls and categorize one in said manner. I think I’ll just marry David Geffen—he’s always liked me. All I know is nobody needs this crap. It shoud be much easier than this. The point is there is no point. I am very surprised by certain individuals—those chaps from Hudson have proved especially hollow, but weren’t they always? Especially the fat one. He’s not fat anymore but it’s the only way to distinguish them at this point. I am sounding like a cunt and that’s because I am one. Well the mail is no longer being forwarded and I will get to the bottom of the banking in coming days. In the meantime I have proved the fact that oysters are not an aphrodisiac. Not in the least. I have appealed to the sometime partner on every level. Oh I suppose that’s enough words don’t you. I was so happy to find that I have these amazing childhood friends and starting tomorrow I really need to start taking some pictures. I can’t believe only one friend from the UK has actually thought to pick up the phone. And I dare say someone made him do it. All people there have to do is get a whiff of non heteronormality and they will make it the butt of jokes (no pun intended) for the rest of all eternity. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Concern Trolls

Leo 5° (July 26)

I’m totally eating tahini oatcakes every single day. That’s happening. We have so many oats and I am determined to eat my way through my pantry. I will get that moving on Thursday when I start physical therapy. Today was a fucking joke. First of all I did manage to catch up on writing by staying up until four a.m. And I woke up at seven so today is a bit of a waah waah. I might end up going into town for oysters after all I shall see. Need to do it sooner than later. Starting tomorrow though I will get back into the book and work on my tan and get a bit dried out. I find the whole thing really cruel suddenly I think I need my oysters. And now I’m fueled:

You may’ve deluded yourself into believing that my forwarding you the “concern trolling” messages from Liz and he who must not be named was simply a reactionary act, something emotionally charged, but I assure it was not. Yes, to receive a message from an acquaintance whom I met through J and N, two years ago, who subsequently drunkenly tried to seduce me at your last New Year’s Eve party, is annoying. Especially as it signaled that my once dear friend who introduced us, a friend I reached out to multiple times this past month, with no response back, would have spread the news in her inimitable way. Then to wake to a message from him, someone who has not once contacted me in all these years. The person with whom our host on the boat ridiculed her so-called best friend. That sickening morning—I always tried to get up and eat and depart before the early gossip ensued—when that mouth breather and you, J, raked poor JJ, who wasn’t there to defend herself, over the coals for her “no talent.” I was near to retching. And so was L who may now be loath to admit it.  A Leo friend who prides herself on loyalty is the most opposite of it in the negative expression thereof. Shame on you. And, so what? You return to your friendship, a phony, keeping hidden the fact that you trash your best friend JJ, and to and with whom? A sycophantic manipulator? A hijacker of conversations? A getter of weddings? A blowhard? Imagine, imagine, how JJ would feel if she ever thought (though she does suspect, she’s not fucking stupid) that you make fun of her with many people on the regular, that you condemn her to strangers whom she’s never met. Meanwhile your vaping stooge was already in on the joke—this was nothing new, this trash talk, this was well-worn territory…it wasn’t the first time you together made JJ the butt of your joke. Lynne and I both left the breakfast table in absolute disgust. We didn’t say a word, we exchanged looks and I think both thought that if we made this silent move it might send a message. It didn’t. L may disagree with me now, of course, but I wouldn’t know because we are no longer connected. The fifth house of Leo is “co-creation with god” and people of the sign like to play it to the hilt, deciding who can do or gain or receive what as a result of what you bestow. We have been the recipients of your incredible kindness and generosity, J, but we have also felt the undelicious sting of your suddenly pulling it out from under us. Something that smarted for years. Loyalty is something neither of you two kennel dwellers understand. L, I have always been exactly who I am. I came out to my parents at seventeen and I came out to you at nineteen. The first time we were ever in bed together there was another boy with us. It was innocent enough. In Paris the year we all met, Amy and J and Max and Jackie and Laurence, I had dates with othe boys. L, you even made breakfast for me and a friend one morning after returning from a sleepover at S’s. It didn’t matter then to me and it doesn’t matter now. I fell in love with the most beautiful and intriguing and captivating and interesting person on the planet. She happened to be an inny. But I have always liked outtys too. And I never hid the fact. Others, you, gradually started hiding the fact; such that I felt, oh well, I guess, if I’m going to get love at this point I better start hiding it more and more too. But not really. I expressed who I was. I spoke to my bisexuality on stage. Hell, I even did M drag on the boat. Yes, I did Brando, too, but, remember I’m the one with the tasteful makeup and ensemble in the photo from Dizzy Place in Paris for Laurence’s 21st birthday in 1986. I’ve remained true to myself and I applaud others, especially those I love more than anyone in the world (that’s you L), doing likewise. But this shit? This shit?. This embargo on communication and information and friendship. Treating me like I’m a disease—this is the most disloyal act of all. And each of you are perpetrating it in your own way. I’m a good person. And none of your gaslighting revisionist bullshit is going to ever make the likes of me think otherwise. So, tell your concern trolls to fuck the fuck off. I don’t want any insidious messages from them. I don’t like them or respect them. And, unless a miracle were to occur, you don’t get to know me anymore. And that is my decision, not yours bitch.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Emily

Leo 4° (July 25)

Spent the morning writing. Happy that CB beamed in. We will meet on Wednesday. It will be helpful to show someone else the enormity of what packing will bring. Had a little yoghurt and first coffee in days. I’m trying not to become too buzzy lest I need to come down. But I do have many CBD gummies to eat. I will inventory the art work. Not that I’m looking for signs but I’ve been binge watching The Bob Newhart Show and the actor who plays Mary Richard’s dad on The Mary Tyler Moore show, whose name is Bill Quinn, something I remarked on a few months back, well, there is an episode where Emily has 151 IQ and joins a mesa type group and Bill Quinn plays a Mensa Astrologer called Kodiak, whose column is Kodiac’s Zodiac. I got so much accomplished today it’s fantastic. And I also managed to take myself out for dinner once again; and then come back and work on writing for hours and hours. I have this feeling that I’m going to be able to keep writing this book. I had to get the last two days off my chest—it’s crazy. But seriously I will be back in the book on Tuesday which is exciting. I’ll get my hair cut then. Oh god my dream last night. I had giant staples down my chest as if I had had open heart surgery. That is not a perfect thing to have dreamt, by the way. I am looking forward to the rest of this I have to say. I was so grossed out by that spectacle online. I can’t believe that that’s what it’s been all about. I want to laugh. I am laughing. Not to be cliché but I am going to be all that I am. The hubris once again oh lord. It was even my idea to stop dying….dyeing? The point is that my disposability has been more and more apparent. Which would mean the more I fucked up over time the better because it was serve the narrative. Serve the narrative of someone who would record me for not adding to the common good but maniacally dedicating oneself to oneself. “The Letter” said some snide remark about no amount of cooking and cleaning being able to compensate for whatever outbursts ensued. They ensued because one’s schedule was exercise and beauty treatments and creating one’s own brand. We lost our book deal because “I’ll get bak to the book at the end of next week,”—fuck not good enough. We got cancelled. Cancelled, cancelled, cancelled, cancelled, cancelled. It’s three in the morning. How can I still be awake? I woke up yesterday at six after only four hours of sleep. I have to get a handle on myself, sleep wise. Some sow had the nerve to write me in the middle of the night to commiserate. Fuck that. And in the process can’t even spell a name correctly. People need to fuck the fuck off. I took a screen shot and sent it to both S. and J.. This is ridiculous. I am truly beginning not to like these people. Fucking, fucking phobes on every level and narcissists all. God I’m so glad I’m me and not these people. Using company money to create a solo website? Really? When was discussed. No wonder, no wonder, no wonder when I asked for an accounting, I never got it in two years. I will take this up with our investor believe you me. You want to mess with me? You think you can mess with me. Yeah good luck with that. I tried so hard to communicate and to work through this together and all I get is withholding because I’m dealing with a narcissist. She always said her mother was one. Oh, she was an amateur compared to this professional. She would say how her mother went back to school to get a masters leaving her in the lurch to raise her sibling(s) and make dinner and clean. And she did the exact fucking thing to me. That’s the truth. And you can fag bash me from here to kingdom come but nothing hides the fact that she’s a selfish, selfish human, and why? Because she feels that life didn’t give her enough. It’s the same reason why when a family style pile of food is plunked before us that she dives in first and grabs a whole bunch. And why she is so fucking needing to impress…get this…her own fucking family. As if they are celebrities or a tribunal. She is so desperate for their attention which, of all the kids, she will always receive the least. And it is her tragedy. This wasn’t going to be this. This was going to be me talking about how amazing Susanne Pleshette is at playing Emily. She was nominated time and again for awards but imagine…she’s up against Mary Tyler Moore and Cloris Leachman and Jean Stapleton and Esther Rolle and Valerie Harper and, well, probably and weirdly, still, also Lucille Ball. I remember knowing her name even before I could read or spell. In my mind her name was Lucy O’Ball.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

American Assasin

Leo 3° (July 24)

I feel it’s not good today. If anything, it sucks. I am suddenly cast as Woody Allen. It is very clear that much effort went into creating a solo platform for S. Her own narrative on the website basically says I used to do Starsky + Cox but now I do this. Married life only ever inspired autonomy. I was this person, this penname, this stage name, the books being completely written by my husband (yes, I wrote some end-of-chapter coupling text for the first one). He wrote all the shows I ever appeared in and even though I would fight him creatively tooth and nail his instincts always ended up being right. I needed to go back to school so I did for three years while my husband picked up a lot of the slack. He wrote an entire business plan for our jewelry company and he employed his contacts to ultimately find a designer from whom we built a whole team. I graduate with a degree. And for years I pretend I’m not going to start my own practice and completely marginalize our work to date. I will ultimately sabotage our third book, taking weeks to basically proofread the copy and change some commas to semicolons. I will tell my husband and partner after nearly three weeks disappeared that I will “get back to the book at the end of next week”; I maintain we have an extension when we only had word our agent would try to get one. I will be cavalier with my partner’s livelihood and sink him into the ground because I’ve never been the person I said I was. I am in fact very much like others of my ilk; it’s just that I never had the courage to be so complete an asshole until now because on a trip to NYC multiple people stopped me on the street to tell me I’m amazing. That’s sustainable. As a person who emphasizes the eudaemonic over the hedonistic I am a complete hypocrite. What I don’t quite realize is that the funds with which I absconded in order to fund my solo endeavor are soon to be reimbursed to the company. I realize my fifty-fifty partner has been asking for an accounting of his own company now for years and that I’ve been using funds to further not only my solo aims but to vilify him in the end to try to get away with murder. I am not so much a baroness as I am a murderess. And as I always said about my partner he should have been a lawyer and I would be quite frightened going up against anyone he was representing, especially himself. I hope more than one woman I love and respect is reading this. I think we know me. I think we are going to have to make quite much more a big deal over this than expected. I have all the time in the world and I’m not going to pay an outside professional until I absolutely have to. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Miles And Miles

Leo 2° (July 23)

It was a good morning and I was happy to connect online with my old friend M. He is one of the key individuals in my recent development and it was fantastic to have a good, long exchange. I had to run a zillion errands and I’m still reeling from learning my mail has been completely stymied. Apparently, things were transferred, or rather forwarded on July 13, a full two weeks later than the S. took a powder. I think I’ve hit a wall with this woman. It’s just so unfair, all of it. I’m sorry that part of me is into the same parts as me, but that has never been otherwise. I’m hitting various walls. I can’t keep staring at the empty spaces. In the next day or two I think I need to start taking over these voids, filling them with me. I’m always tucked into some corner or cutting them to accommodate. I am going to enjoy the transition out of this. I am thinking seriously about working in friend’s resto for fun and as a distraction and to keep from staring at the ceiling nights but I’m also concerned about the Covid surg. It’s ridiculous that I can’t know where she is—ooh, like she’s so important. Her narrative she said is that she’s afraid of me. Me! Me? Really? It is so absurd. Anyway, it was a busy afternoon of errands and such. I’m not going to cook for myself. I don’t care how much money I’m spending. I didn’t go out once from March 2020 till now, basically, so fuck it; besides I’m using my own money and I no longer have some long arm of the law telling me what to do. The remarkable thing is just how loving and kind people are that you meet socially, well, first off as I say many old friends miraculously plop down next to me. But the strangers have been super kind and fun too. I really feel like I’m turning a corner finally. I continue to try and connect and tell her how much I love her but she doesn’t write back and I’m getting to the fuck-it stage I must say. Anyway, I lay down and fell into a nap without knowing it. What is curious is that I fell asleep in the early evening and I woke at around seven. I thought it was morning and couldn’t figure out why it was getting darker not brighter out. I thought maybe bad storm. Turns out I was only asleep for few hours and it was evening. Took myself out to dinner. Back and forth with Caroline’s. They might want me tomorrow, but I think that will be impossible.  Oysters and burgers. I haven’t seen a vegetable in days. I need to go into town tomorrow maybe to remedy that situation. I could use some salad and fish. I won’t actually do that. I’m trying to keep a log of everything that’s needing doing and also what has been done. I’m struggling with her website. First of all talk about doing stuff in plain sight. I mean it basically says, hi, I am part of this couple but I really don’t want to be and the stuff that we did together is pretty fucking stupid while I, on my own, am amazing. It basically says we were doing this thing together but I really needed to do this instead. It belittles what we worked on. It belittles all the hard fucking work I did on behalf of the two of us for two decades. And it actually says I needed to go back to school. Does it say my husband shouderled the actual Wheel (the name of our company) when I was studying for three years. Does it say he wrote an entire business plan? Does it say he wrote all our shows I performed in. The hubris, the narcissism—I have written seven years of a Blague, telling stories, writing dialogue for us to perform, but someone has a very high opinion of their singular dimension prose. I cannot believe how obvious the whole thing is. Talk about jumping ship. This has all been planned out. It is so obvious now. All you have to do…all a judge will have to do is read the words. And by the way, who paid for this solo career, from what bank account was this site created. Did I pay for this? Is someone going to pay for my solo entity. This is not over.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Court This

Leo 1° (July 22)

Today will have to be different. I’m going to do a deep bedroom clean. Oysters then Spinach and Lobster Mashed to go. It’s Thursday so it must be Rachel. If I didn’t have this pricey cafeteria, I don’t know what I’d do. It lifts my spirits to the max. I need to start paying myself back for the extravagance though I can’t be dropping coin on pricey food every night. It will right itself; meanwhile I am totally doing what my soul wants and that is all I can do. It isn’t quite getting easier though I have to say. S. has asked me not to write her but it is all I do. I have to get my truth out there regardless of the consequences. It is a definite must. Thanks to Brad and to CB and Caroline and thanks to Roderick and DC and all the people who have been rallying around one way or the other. I just need to knock myself out tonight really and I will do exactly that. She can have whatever she wants. She can carry the purse. I don’t have to do it anymore, but if she is taking even more handouts then that will be on her. I wrote the business plan while she was in school. I found, through my contacts, the people who now work with us. I was way instrumental in the creation of all the pieces, pendants especially. I wrote half a book while nothing really moved along on the other side. Lots of time doing yoga and pilates and talking with best girl friends and taking pictures and videos of oneself in various outfits for not only our shared media but ones own. Narcissism has been rampant culminating in the story brought home from New York about how irriestible one is. Penny had great insight into that one. She’s seventy and says it still happens to her. She is also a bisexual who says that she would jump into the sack with another woman in an instant but she has never had an emotional connection to someone of the same sex. Word. Women get away with it. I never have. And in the end the heteronormative narrative will out. It dovetails with all the familiar turf—and yes that word was chosen carelly. . I warned a certain friend not to go down that road but she did anyway, alienating, okay, maybe not the masses, but the quality sensitive children of the world, not to mention all the actors that ever portrayed her characters. But “it is the hill” she wishes to die on. Would you, please? I get J + LLB now more than ever. The hostage taking the holding forth. Don’t get me wrong I truly love my sister with whom I’ve always felt I shared a brain, but the hubris is rampant and delusions of grandeur will out. Emphasis on will. I’m bitter because I’m not an idiot and I know what’s been going on. There is only one way that this can happen the way it is, let us say, in a level of comfortability. If you’re reading this it’s fine. I feel a bit put off by all of this. It isn’t happening to you personally and you’re taking sides and that isn’t good or kind or any of the things you might consider yourself. I feel good about myself, meanwhile; and I have always been exactly who I am so don’t expect any more apologies from me. If you don’t want a person like me around then I not only don’t want to be around you but, meanwhile, what were you thinking the last thirty-nine years, exactly? I am learning that I have a lot of friends out there who love me and more on that tomorrow.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Mannish Joplin

Leo 0° (July 21)

Watched Janis Joplin documentary. I think I’ve seen it before. Today started in Orleans, at the automotive shop and then to the dentist for one of the worst experiences of my life. The novocaine, or whatever the fuck that was, was almost the worst part. To boot they charged me double what I thought it would be. Oh well there is no way around that now. My high school friend Dave beamed in to see if I wanted to see Mavis Staples. I said yes because I have to start saying yes. I will indulge myself with one more dozen oysters and bring home some lobster mashed potatoes. I couldn’t chew anything all day so I just had the little bit of soup that’s still left over. I’m so lonely it’s not real. Still not getting easier by any stretch of the imagination. I’m really sad that I’ve already lost friends over this. That she would torpedo certain 3year old relationships especially, one which she knew was very important to me and one which I initially re-ignited. I find it really unbelievable that she would do that. But she did. I’m noticing too that the boys in Hudson aren’t responding either. I find that very telling. I doubt very much she’s with them but who the hell knows where she is. I know I’m talking out of school or whatever the phrase is but I have to get this poison out of me and this is a very good way to do it. I will soon be caught up to myself on this front and that is a very good thing because I do want to get back into the book. The plan for the book, getting back on a schedule. Putting physical therapy dates into my calendar. Which branch is the safety deposit key for? Is the apartment insurance truly up to date. Begin to back and document via photos. Start posting what’s for sale starting with my own stuff. Composing letter re housing and work bit also with dinner invites. Commit Linguine Clam Sauce recipe to memory. Pack sweaters into Jimin bag. Honestly I don’t care how banal this Blague is sounding. It is all about survival right now and I am doing my damnest. I am actually writing this on Sunday the 25th, playing catch up on all the last days and debating whether I should venture out for another meal. Not always the best idea but I might be able to get away with it. Especially if I do start to supplement over the next two months. I believe it will be busy. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

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