Leo 28° (August 20)
Clients today, one by Skype from Shanghai, one in person here at the Cape Cod studio. Both folks are truly interesting and I love working with them. We will also have a chat about the website. For starters, the splash page need to be desaturated in terms of photos and I’d love to feature a person reading Sextrology for the Books bit. Anyway can’t go down that rabbit hole today. More of some past self-analysis
Saturn regrograde in Aquarius in 6thhouse
Well, I have to first address the most startling revelation here triggered by Erin Sullian who is brilliant by the way. The Sun-Saturn relationship as referring to father in her book has sent a shiver down my spine. Working the center and perifery of experience, signalling an absentee father who nontheless made himself the center of all experience nonetheless. I get a panic attack just thinking about him in this regard. Satellite and central star. Ugh. And thus, I am meant to feel alternately powerful and centered and then completely impotent as a result Pretty accurate.Strength and vulnerability. My Sun and Saturn are somewhere between trine and quincunx, but for purposes here more trine (right?) which is chacterized as having difficulty with being zapped of energy and having creativity being stymied. Hello “pre-creative” depression. And of course it’s in my sixth house. That means I get to experience this lovely feeling everyday. Jealous? On top of all this, it seems I can be meglomanical. Great. I’m not sure which trine I have as I can’t get my brain around that as yet. But the concept of quincunx is intriguing in this Sun-Saturn relationship as my penname/character Quinn Cox is based on this aspect and much of his mythos is taken from an upbringing riddled with father angst. Anxiety over being loved is definitely something I felt as a child. Daily life feeling like a chore—yes. Fear surrounding health issues—I’m a paranoid when it comes to diseases and won’t even go to doctors. Chiron in the 6thhouse as well opposed my ascendent must have something to do with this as well. The Saturn-myth interpretation of swallowing ones creativity definitely rings true in terms of never liking what I create. I am not at all accessed when it comes to exercise or daily routines. I am naturally healthy with my diet. But I have had my issues with cigarettes and alcohol. I can be extreme with habits. And self-destructive to some degree. Or rather I think I am because I’m hard on myself. Hard to tell.
I may unconsciously construct a rigid construct for self protection based on fears, anxiety, lack of self-worth. I self-generate pressures and am much more vulnerable than I might appear. In short, I’m way too hard on myself. Instead of structuring my world externally, and in this case the 6thhouse points to routines, I do so to myself and guilt myself for not living up to expectations. Tierney is really bleak on this subject—wow: Oversensitive to perceived lack in oneself. Self-negating, self-denying, masochistic. One who can withstand stress without seeking to change the cause.Frustrated, resentful, easily intimidated. Blocked toward fulfilling own desires. Difficulty weilding power in a balanced manner. Feelings of incompetency. And then there is a bit of sunlight: Ability to face difficulties with detachment and insight. That’s something to look forward to. Otherwise, there is fear of not being accepted by the status quo, or not having creative works well received. I’d love to hear some good news on this if you have any?!
The one planet I have which changed direction as per Exercise 2c was Mercury. And I really do think that it has both intensity and significance in my chart, which the planet rules. Mercury’s placement is in my first house in retrograde (stationary direct) just about at its station before going direct. All that which is associated with stationary direct seems to ring true in my case—as I am definitely over-anticipatory, anxious, hyper-expectant and urgent in my need to self-express. Indeed, I define myself in terms of how I communicate and yet I’m often self-conscious in my expression, sort of desperate to be understood, as I feel people don’t readily comprehend me, either in what I’m saying, or as a person, all together. I am a quck study. I typically don’t miss a trick, and I am rather gymnastical with my verbal skills. However, I do think that I see things rather differently than most people. And that I internalize much of what I could communicate, just because I feel it is a chore to explain my perceptions, and the mental connections my mind makes. I know what I mean. But it’s hard for me to tell others, easily or succinctly. People probably think I ramble. You may be thinking that right now. I also can’t stand anything hanging in the air—that urgency factor of stationary direct really hits home for me. I can’t abide dangling conversations. I must always clear the air. I over-analyse down to a nub. I used s in analyse instead of z because I think that’s how the english spell it. I am incredibly impatient. It really is something I need to work on. I am often too busy. I need to do everything now. If I think of a great idea, I must put it into motion. Never mind the fact I already have a full schedule. That plus being a libra to begin with which is already refracted, indeed prismatic, in its expression (cardinal air, to me, symbolically translates to “light” –apollo god of light, order, reason all those libran things—lucifer, the morning and evening star, venus, the prince as opposed to elias the king—not the blaring sun, but reflected light, light has seven colors in its spectrum, 7 notes to the scale…the scales) this all adds up to doing a lot of things a little bit which only, over time, can add up to anything “accomplished”.
I like a lot of what Erin Sullivan has to say. I think that having a mercury retrograde, lending a subjective view, which is stationary direct, for me, means that I can’t help but constantly verbalize and otherwise express my inner connections with outer reality. I think and express myself abstractly and symbolically. I am a believer, and a willing participant, in synchronicity. I do think that reality is abstract and abstraction reality. I sense a paradoxical pattern of accident, and I am happy with that. I enjoy the serendipities of life and I am eager to express my subjective experiences with them. I look before I leap. I put that cart before the horse. And I do so gladly. Action does precede thought. It is rather seize the day, isn’t it? I’m ever willing to translate my “sensory perceptions into concepts.” I think people can find me fatiguing. Because, symbolically, my mind is just coming out of a rest (retrograde) and is thus refreshed, with ideas assimilated, and ready to speak itself. Lynne, for instance, has Mercury stationary retrograde also in first house, and is therefore not ready to receive my machine-gun ideas at any given point. Especially not over breakfast. The Epimethean vs. Promethean concepts are also very interesting. And I am definitely experimental in my attitudes. Yet, in this view of “promethean retrograde” I am experimental with caution. “Driving with the emergency brake on”—that’s a fantastic analogy. Excitement for the new combined with sense of restraint. I’ve always chalked that up to Libra. But perhaps my Mercury explains it better. (Funny too that I have always equated Prometheus with Libran energy anyway as he is the lightbringer, the way lucifer is—the bearer of the lightning stick, stolen from the father. Luke Skywalker—cardinal air, hello!—whose name means light moving across the sky. He gets his arm chopped off from trying to overthrow his father just as lucifer was cast into the pit and prometheus was bound and then de-immoralized. Mark Hamill who played Luke was a Libra. I love that tidbit.) You see, I don’t have a problem with reality reading symbolically. I don’t put much stock in introspection, but rather seek to bring about my accomplishments. I’m very ready, steady, go about things and figure I have what I need in the mental bank so to speak. And what I mightn’t have, I’ll wing it. A good Mercury phrase. Much beauty and genius can be had through improvisation, learning on ones feet, trial by fire, hitting the ground running and all such cliches that carry similar meanings.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox