Leo 25° (August 17)


In Provincetown last evening, I went to Room and saw Brent who gave me a cannabis gummy. I popped it on the way home which did not sit well with my passenger. But I assured her it would take hours for it to kick in. We had a little night cap of red wine and then did it ever kick in oh wow. I ended up playing piano for hours after S. went to bed. At first she told me it would keep her awake. But because I was so altered by the full body high and employed the soft pedal; and because my singing was already spot on, so S. said, I became something of a stoned lullabyist. I have never had a full on cannabi gummy and I cannot believe how long the effects lasted in my body. All day today I was engulfed in a deep relaxation and I even ended up falling asleep for several hours in the day. I am trying to get a handle, now, on the fact that I am rather behind in my work on the ebooks which I will have to accelerate on in the coming days to catch up. All without missing a single beat in terms of my fundraising. It’s always the same but this time will be different. I am going to accelerate it all and I’m not going to disappoint myself in the process. Not for one minute. I wish I had more inspiration these days. It isn’t all that easy to cover all my bases. But the bases must be covered nonetheless.

I made a chowder today after coming back from the garage where my car was “fixed”, well fixed enough I suppose. It’s old and it probably doesn’t have that long for this world. But so long as it gets to the beach and the dump that’s all that really matters. Starting Monday I need to spend five hours on combined Blague and the reading of the books. I won’t get to the other bit until a week from now which means fourteen days of writing something fairly inocuous, then putting into enough of a shape that will work moving forward. I have my work cut out for me more than ever this year with fundraising. I am terribly far behind. The time away this summer seems like a lifetime ago. How can it hae been such a long fortnight and now be so dissolved in my imagination. Well I hope it’s something chowder can solve. Although we won’t end up eating the chowder because somebody wants something more substantial which I understand. I will listen to Cape and Islands NPR and doze in and out. I do miss doing a radio show I just do not miss doing it at a set time each week. There is no reason to repeat that fiasco. I think the last time I had hope about anything broadcast was when we filmed that pilot for a show with something pirates.

I basically can’t sit upright. I still feel the gummy in my body. So weird that that would have happened. This Monday will be three weeks out and I have to make sure I completely knock it all out of the park. There is no reason for failure. Success takes many forms but I am definitely not in the market to lose out on this project I will doorstop the ef out of people. Apparently we are meeting gay man and dabriella this week. First they asked if we wanted to go to carnival with them. Rather she wrote to ask if we want to go to the “gay parade” I kid you not. It is so weird that they live here, for starters, but it’s even weirder that they can be so heteroclueless. It doesn’t work for me to be so pretendy about myself. I like being who I am, sexuality included. In fact now everyone is like me when nobody used to be. It’s like back in the seventies when gay men were the last people on earth to work out but now try to find a gay man who doesn’t. I am watching an Audrey Heptburn film at present and it really is so sad that she died at sixty three. Sixty three. That’s like ridiculously young. I’m sure it was in large part as a result of her malnutrition during and immediately following the war when the Germans tried to starve the Dutch. We think of Audrey as British or Belgian. Most people don’t realize just how damn ndutch she really is. Starting Monday I will be dedicating eight hours a day to reading the HA books and everything else will be supplemental.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.


Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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