Virgo 17° (September 8)

Well, the thing is it is really ten days later, so my goal today is to get through ten entries in just this one day. On this actual day, which is a Sunday, I am of course working hard to get everything ready for heading to Provincetown for a week. I’m curious to know what’s on my own mind. I want to rest and repair. I have definitely been overdoing it and need some kind of respite. I will have dropped the ball on social media; one can’t do everything but if I had more presence of mind I would have tackled that more carefully. My feelings, such as they are, are pretty solid. Oh gosh I have to move this along and just say what’s on my mind. I have had some pretty fierce feelings over the years and I have been trying to hard to reign in my negative impulses. It’s going to take some work I can tell you but I know that I am not going to be disallowed from achieving success in this way. I will write and perform my own show because an asshole of a millenial has dropped out. I find this certain stark character to be trouble and an overcommunicator and see him as being very much in line with those who seek to reach around me. I’m not going to let that happen at the same time I don’t give a shit. I have so much on my plate and I need to get my own pooh in gear. Or else it isn’t going to happen.

I have to write to Joe and say hello Joe. Look we have been trying to figure out a replacement scenario for MR our MD with whom we have a very easy rapport and who knows us inside and out and given the fact that the show is so close to Christmas and on a weekend where our audience is probably largely already out of town slash with family. These two dynamics are making it rather impossible for us. Let’s start again Hi So and and So. As mentioned, because JVB isn’t doing the usual run of Xmas shows at Joe’s, MR has taken a touring gig with TM, leaving us without our own MD. We have been trying to figure out a replacement and we have had substative conversations with some folks who could substitute, the best possible scneario of performing with a viable substitute constitutes meeting a totally new band for one rehearsal only the day before our performance and we are feeling that this won’t be a recipe for success. So with heavy heart we feel we must cancel our S+C show this year and we say heavy heart because it is one of the key appearances in our year that have made our hearts sing the most. We are already speaking with MR about next year; and we hope you won’t hold this cancellation against us and that we can simply skip this year and resume again next when, surely, JVB will be performing and MR will be in NYC and not touring. We can easily drop in with Matt and our band and rehearse once or twice before a performance. And I think that is how we deal with Ben too.

In terms of my friends the answer is easy. Having gotten the job after all we will look at another time when we can possibly do this sort of thing. The truth is I feel completed divided on the subject. I do want nothing more than to make this happen and it would probably good for me. Then again I am truly traumatized so should the job come through I don’t know that I will regret the outcome all that much. I love the fact of nurutring relationships but do I have to work so hard. The example I mainly have from others is that a good deal amount of self absorbtion might indeed be healthy. I have to take my laundry in off the line and make my own dinner. I have to clean my own house. These are realities of summer living and they are my favorite things. I don’t mind even not having a dishwasher here and doing everything as diy as possible.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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