Sagittarius 28° (December 19)

There is no more room in my schedule for screwing up. So I’m just going to plow forward and do some timed writing for the next couple hours. The new lawyer is slow to the game. I have maintained speed and efficacy of the blogs. Pretty much up to date on everything actually I want to go over all of the tourist man I’ve written so far and start getting some more information down still early days but I’m already sensing how things can be different going forward with all new chapters same time I did bring up the chapters I had drafted up to speed so that’s cool. David formula came back into the picture because Cynthia finally wrote me back well she wouldn’t have seen my correspondence so it’s not like she was ignoring me anyway I will come to realize in the end that maybe it’s better to have contact with Cynthia than with David in any case I mean he’s always been a jerk let’s face it. I got into this whole thing with alright a for Aries man which is pretty cool I kind of forgot now what I did for Aries woman but I’ll have to go back and look at that . I need to speak a little bit louder I guess if I want this dictate thing to freaking work. OK so I am in the process of many things I have everything to the lawyers , I have begun going through the basement and the attic and those are not euphemisms. I’m getting a handle on all my earthly possessions. We’ve been making lovely meals and having a good holiday time I have everything up to date in terms of my finances and I am in the book which is very good news so if I could just keep up some kind of pace and all should be quite dandy with the solstice and moving forward through the Holidays into our famed second semester when all the sacrifices the sensual sacrifices are made I think that’s probably enough for today 

The following blocks of text are exceprts from my first year of  Blagues, nos. 1311-1315. I am reading through all of my Blagues, five per day, and posting some samples here. Now, in my sixth year of writing this Blague, by the time I get to my seventh, I will have journeyed through all the daily Blagues of my first five years. If that’s confusing I apologize. Year seven, I’ll only have to read through year six, once a day.

It’s probably a good thing to have one’s Blague entry written before nine a.m.; though today I am getting a slower start than usual. I have to really put all the pieces together today. You know how sometimes the through lines and check list points seems so clear; and then almost the next instant things feel a jumble and a swirl. I definitely need to emerge with a clearer perspective today, one hinged on the fact that I won’t be able to hit every mark but I must jump in anyway. I won’t bore you with the details of what needs to happen today to successfully get things well on track. But ’twill be a lot. The trick is always checking the things you want to do least off the list and not to productonate, as I call it. Just looking back at the Blagues over this past month—it’s a combination to-do list and a rummaging through of feelings which of late have been outsized and swirling. (I will thus title today’s piece with that).

So the busy boring stuff will include a dump run, food preparation, putting together a list of calls and emails and orders needing making. I will distract myself with correspondence. From December 15 I will do the Annual Fortnight of Final Fundraising. Peepers, Chloe (only I know what that means. I have this Excel sheet in my mind and I know I have the charm to launch an effective offensive. Everything nice and slow, let Saturn be exalted in Libra; helpful as Libras can jump from thing to thing. I digress. Today will be Tetchy Tuesday too because we are getting into actual rehearsals now these next two weeks out which is plenty of time for a piece like ours.

Apollo. A little too pretty. A little to ethereal. Lofty. The liberal of the Zodiac. The coastal democrat. The debate. That is Libra. Two sides. Balance. And yes also tension. The winds. Movements. Feeling the pain of others and seeking to champion them. Identifying with the other. And if you do this you see the downtrodden. Gandhi, Lech Welesa, Eleanor Roosevelt, Judge Judy. Libra wants to see wrongs righted, but it requires identifying them without getting lost in the mess, the mire of just how much injustice there is. Disappointment is the sign’s shadow side after all.

Gemini the pluck. Ironic since there is bird energy. Our thoughts can go from Heaven to Hell. Angel Devil. Earthly Divine. Mortal Immortal. Gemini: Poppy Bush constant letter writers. Norman Vincent Peale. There is so much to say that I could fill a book.

I really want to look upon so-called setbacks or, what, rejections, even, as opportunities. I would like to illustrate to myself that things can be righted. These things might include relationships. Actually now that I come to think about it everything is relationships. If I want to activate different parts of our business, for instance, it really does come back to what relationship I have with that certain sector. Interesting the thoughts that occur to you in the process of writing about them. I think Christopher Reeve’s quote about Hope and Possibility is terrifically true. Oh and I have to prove to myself that I can do the solo thing in the midst of the tandem, a terrible challenge to the Libra; but at least I have youth and beauty on my side, ha ha. It’s like a tell people. Don’t lament procrastination just live longer.

At some point I have to become my own archivest. That is a crucial thought. I also have such such such a wealth of new astrological ideas that another book is inevitable. I have to gather all I have done in order to do what I will do. I’ve been doing it all along in that light. I am referring to the Blague alone; never mind everything else I’ve ever written in notebooks into documents buried in folders. Anyway, if we can make this new venture work out of the gate (which I’m determined to do) then I know I will have the luxury of time. Meanwhile there are things on my reclamation list—tennis, skiing, yoga, guitar, voice lessons—that I’m determined to explore ongoingly—upcoming jewelry course for starters—that I want to relax into in what I hope will be a banner year ahead. We have to get out from under all this global bullshit, unscathed. Here is praying that will happen.

Today will forever go down as the day when we started to figure out the product line. We now have a framework that will free us to create, within and without it, now and later. I didn’t know I was waiting for a breakthrough of sorts here but wow is it ever welcome. It makes me realize what work we can do while waiting on things we can’t control. I also have such a clear idea now of what to tell a designer and I see it very visually, almost, the whole thing, like wallpaper which makes me feel very excited, inspired. Ah yes inspired was one of the words I wanted to add to a page of writing somewhere instead of another word I have in its place.

I will get to the piano today which is good. Then Matt will have everything he’ll need, music direction wise, for the next fortnight. I need tell him that attached are links to songs and a Score document that has screenshots of chords/tabs I saw online in order. And here are some thoughts. Star of Wonder: that the first song has option of tempo change. Catch the Wind doesn’t sound like the only key I see it in anywhere on line (I know sometimes recording can do that). Happy to do as per Score doc but have a listen. We could consider guitar here. The recording of 3rd song seems to match the chords in the Score doc. I think works for S + me. Cool Change recording also matches Score doc. In simple terms in chorus, S + I have chosen a thirds-ish harmony you can maybe add your voice to? Winter score also matches the recording. I think ok for me. Two Thousand Mile: You have no changes. This Mess We’re In TK. Key seems okay for us. Jill of All Trades recording seems to match Score doc. Think key ok for S. Wind Cries Mary/Think It’s Going to Rain same. Fairy Tale: same. Don’t Give Up (help me): same. The Secret O’ Life, S. is singing but it’s not in the right key. I would say that if you wanted to make any piano recordings of songs for us to practice with the priorities might be Bigmouth Strikes Again, Secret O’Life and maybe a snippet of This Mess We’re In.

Getting a slow start today for sure. I stayed up really late by myself just being all sorts of indulgent sitting by the fire, fell asleep there and woke up freezing at 5:30 AM and never fell back to sleep which is fine. I’ll make it an early night tonight. So long as I get three hours in today before we work together I should be in good shape. A fortnight to go and I think I’m getting my brain around killing it. I feel a bit exorcised of demons who have been daunting me these past years; nothing like new magic to clear out the cobwebs on that score. And speaking of which I think I finally stumbled onto what looks like a path through the brambles that I might be able to tread. After so many years of not focusing on what will for me be a solo path, with a machete mind in hand, I’m ready to play catch up (which isn’t really a thing when it comes to this). I am being purposely cryptic, so don’t worry that you’re not getting it. It seems that areas of my life are falling into place while I struggle to stay on track with the work at hand. I guess this is something of a lesson in letting go. Definitely a lesson I need to learn. All I ask is to be equal to the tasks at hand. And to have fun in the process. That is “killing it” enough I suppose.

I have to trust myself on timing with everything anyway. I set things up and then I get so lost in the anticipation of them that I find it difficult to live and function fully in the moment. Today is a great day to turn this sort of thing right around. Snowy. Too cold out to go for the daily constitutional (well not really but it makes a good excuse). Anyway today is day one of fourteen where I will be putting five hours a day into a certain creative project, at whatever hours I clock them—even if I wake in the middle of the night as I am wont to do—and it is also my Summer Stock diet, named for the film of the same name in which Judy Garland looks far heavier than usual, for most of it, and then from which she took a two week “vacation” to slim down dramatically for the Get Happy number. Only my diet will not consist of cigarettes and amphetamines; well, not exclusively anyway. The recipe should be fairly simple: Now that I am “in” to the work I will stay in. And that new “path” I was talking about is going to be my way of staying the course just like H.W. said—I’m sick to death of the revisionisty eulogizing of that overpriveleged creep. I think he wanted to get into Maureen Dowd’s pants to be honest. You know he wasn’t regularly just servicing Barbara’s bush. That’s rude I know but I’m in a mood, in case you haven’t noticed.

I’m finally at the heiroglyphs stage of my creative work. You are wondering what that means, well ok. Sometimes I write things out in full sentences and then go back and insert little drawings of myself in certain “actions”; it is the actor in me that does this and have done this since my early days in NYC when I was a promising young actor. That career went nowhere. Fast. Or slow. But I still manage to get myself on a stage. Funny that. I have been in a kind of weird mental space these last few days. I think it happens every year around this time.

Finished script and getting songs and text in my body. To be honest I’m in a crunchy time where I’m doubting myself again. I try to be so optimistic and believe that each day will be different (not to mention each year) but I can’t help feeling I’m living the definition of insanity. I think because I crammed as a kid studying I tend to repeat that behavior, always playing chicken with myself to a certain degree. I can only hope that I have nipped this in the bud enough before we set off on a two week journey. I’m curious to know what the timeline will be with all that we have rolling in (and planning to roll out); but as I’m intimating here I truly do need to keep my head screwed on ultra tight. It takes discipline and it takes being somewhat kinder to myself than I typically am this time of year. I don’t know what kind of effect the larger backdrop of worldwide dysfuction—Brexit, Trumpworld, Paris riots—is having on all of us, myself included.

It’s hard to be funny right now I guess is what I’m saying. I’m not feeling inspired to write jokes at this juncture that’s for sure. I’m so grateful for the ability, nay the luxury, to even be typing this. Tomorrow I will have some time alone and I think it’s probably a good thing, so I can plow through some organizational things and even just get some plain ol’ cleaning of house underway. The day started out weird in that I lost my readers. They just disappeared. I thought I brought them with me to the store (so as to see) but when I got to my destination I didn’t have them. I figured I left them at home but no. So I am now wearing broken glasses which will make working rather challenging over the next several days between now and when my new glasses (I just ordered) arrive.

We had a short rehearsal today and I could feel exhaustion starting to move in on me. I actually skipped dinner which I had actually cooked. So I will make some fishcakes from the cod and potatoes I cooked. It is a boring post today but I’m feeling rather thinned out. I know I can regain my energy and strength this weekend if I can just take a little break. I am totes dedicated to killing it for the rest of 2018. There is plenty on our plate still to complete in the next twenty some odd days. Can do.

Sometimes you don’t choose a day off it chooses you. Besides getting a little cleaning done I just couldn’t look at any work today. For starters, not having eyeglasses is definitely a deterrent. I suppose it might have been foolish on my part not to make the most of the hours I had to myself but I’m just really wiped out and more than anything I needed to catch up on just some simple home work. If you’re reading the less than earth-shattering Blagues over these past few days, you may sense I’m not that creatively inspired and I don’t have a lot to say. These are the times in the past when I would just not bother showing up to write anything, but then I get behind and it tends to make me feel a bit depressed. So at the risk of boring the pants off of everybody (or anybody) I’m just going to sit here and type stuff. I guess I should be grateful that I had a forced shutdown; my sinuses are always a barometer for being run down; and they are a bit achy breaky right now. So I know I need to slow it up.

I haven’t been on social media, like at all, and I need to get back out there doing some end of year promotion. I just get so disheartened on social media. Everyone in their wee corners facing out, cameras on them. Nobody seems to take anything in; or care to help one another it seems to me. It isn’t about connection at all but a sort of serial isolation; which I can’t help but think mirrors the wider isolationism associated with populism and the larger context of the world right now which seems in such terrible disarray. But where I could go down a rabbit hole I resent having to do so, thus I won’t. It’s just not worth it. Now is about rallying forces and pulling some rabbits out of hats.

I did manage to do another round of eblasts as need be; focusing on show and then I’ll focus back on books. But much of my morning (like most days) is negotiating the idiosyncrasies of living life as we do so remotely out on Cape Cod. Like, for instance, we have no dishwasher. Also any white clothing wash comes out blue. Iron in the pipes that erodes the copper of the pipes? That is the prevailing theory anyway. Also we separate our plastics from glass from paper from trash (which leaves very little trash) the organic bits of which we can compost; and so the trunk of my old Mercedes is like a way station en route to the next dump run; and as we rarely have any trash to speak of, when it does accumulate, it will so in a tiny white bags which we then call “carbage” and there is a note, on the kitchen blackboard, reminding us to take any carbage with us when we might be passing a public trash bin. Remember there is no food in it so you don’t need to lecture. Okay, maybe there is the odd chicken carcass but they are few and far between. We will “store” any such discards in the freezer and we will properly dump trash at the dump in the designated purple bags if we have a sudden large accumulation of it.

It can all be very OCD making which, when added to all the bits and bobs I must tackle in the normal course of any day can indeed lead to some pretty partcicular behavior on my part. I just got the most violent urge for fish and chips if you can believe it. Why wouldn’t you be able to believe it? Growing up we had an Arthur Treachers near where we lived summers at the Jersey Shore. So many versions of my lives. So many larger acts for large spates of years that evoke such feeling and are not only faded but so completely lost never to be recaptured in any way shape or form.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2020 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2020 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.