Gemini 24° (June 13)

 

It is a beautiful morning. I am once again laid up due to my reactivated injury, but my spirit is soaring and circling from above. This feeling of tranquility is usually fleeting so I will drink it in as deeply as I may and savor the eternity within. My goal is to keep every simple today. No drama, no self-sabotage. Just the June air and my breath. I am now officially in the process of creating a new larger work. I think that is the best way to describe it. The Possible’s slow fuse is lit by the Imagination.And I am out to find the beauty, today, in doing right things for myself. It is all a treasure, if not a scavenger, hunt. I don’t know why it is some of we humans have to blow up our success—it makes no good sense. Someone I know with a great deal of sway seems to want to rid themselves, to use an ironic pronoun, of some of the mantle of their ubiquitous worship. Maybe it is too much to live up to. I know that sometimes in my own personal life, if things are going too swimmingly, I will fuck it up, I’m guessing from some psychological need or disorder. I have already flirted today with procrastination but I am nipping that firmly in the bud. Enjoy your read…

The following blocks of text are exceprts from my first year of  Blagues, nos. 406-410 . I am reading through all of my Blagues, five per day, and posting some samples here. Now, in my sixth year of writing this Blague, by the time I get to my seventh, I will have journeyed through all the daily Blagues of my first five years. If that’s confusing I apologize. Year seven, I’ll only have to read through year six, once a day. 

This was originally posted May 30, 2016:

Life is hard. Make no mistake. But it is often easier than we make it. When you start to spin: stop, drop and roll with the punches. Do not think ahead. Do not think back. You know the drill about the future and the past. It’s not just woo-woo to stay in the present it’s the absolute answer to everything. It’s what keeps you still, fixed, which is one of the messages of the sign of Taurus whose metaphorical and metaphysical landscape is that of the eternal garden, Eden, which translates to delight, the verb tense of which can be very helpful to employ.

So much of our stress comes from that which isn’t working in our lives. Stop, drop and roll. Don’t try to make things happen, let them. It might not be the them you had in mind but so what. Often, that which we try to make happen involves the attention or participation of others, which, trust me, is never satisfying. It’s a labyrinth all its own, like that of the Minotaur, the embodiment of desire for others. If you love what you do you will do it with or without an audience. The shadow-id side of Taurus is front-loading how you’re seen by others, as opposed to naturally attracting others as a byproduct of cultivating yourself.

We live, in modern times with a sort of amplified soul-sickness, because through the manic manifestation of all media, we are party to everyone seeking, succeeding or failing, to attract attention from others. And it inspires this sort of weird world of comparison and competition. I look up on it as a universal trick being played on us by the mischievous god Mercury, namesake of that tiny planet with whom we’re all familiar due to its retrogrades to which we chalk up all our problems and snafus. Mercury is the god of our mentality, via the sign of Gemini and the third astrological house. And, indeed, he might be running amok in this epoc having his manipulative way with us.

But perhaps it’s all to teach us a lesson. Maybe we need to know how sick our minds and our culture can be in its desperate superficial longing for some semblance of spotlight. Playing tricks, as this trickster god is wont to do, upon our pure Taurean birthright to tend our own gardens of talents and abilities and values and qualities and assets and beauty as it is synonymous with our dignity. Taurus energy is centrifugal, focused inward toward ourselves, most healthfully, from our outer selves of consciousness toward our inner self of private needs, desire to increase intrinsic value, and fulfillment of our latent abilities. But when we extend the outer range of centrifugal force to make the starting point the perception of others, directed toward ourselves, it is a pollution of this Taurus power

So stop. Shut it down. Give others’ thoughts of you no heed and seek not to manipulate them. Yes, market yourself. But only when you feel you’ve something cultivated to put out there. Otherwise keep the focus on yourself. And when you do (Gemini) market whatever content you’ve created as a result of your cultivated talents (Taurus) to sit around waiting for, or judging, the results of your efforts. You have no control over outcomes; and they are never personal. You should scarcely notice, because you will have moved on to another area of your garden needing weeding and screaming for cultivation. That’s all I have to say about that.

This was originally posted May 31, 2016:

T is for Time. It is a commodity that falls under the rule of that sign’s native second astrological house. We think of that house as consisting of that which we possess. Taurus, fixed-earth (a garden) pointing to our need to tend what we have—”I Have” being the Taurus motto. In the Garden of Eden, pre biting into that Gemini apple of duality, we weren’t aware of this or that, good or evil, clothed or naked, innocent or shame or now or then. We lived in an eternal dreamstate. (When I say we, you know what I mean.) Time, like Innocence, was a precious commodity, apparently, which we didn’t Value until it was lost. I try very hard to slow down Time. Meditation is the surest way to do so—to live inside moments instead of rushing ahead. We want to tick, tick, tick things off our list. Right now, it is not even 4 AM and I am writing this because, I think since I decided yesterday I had to write two Blagues a day through July 4 “to catch up” that I didn’t sleep well in anticipation of the fact that I have other major looming projects. But that’s not how Time works.

In a garden we can’t rush. We can only do what the garden asks of us on any given day. There is a weed that’s cropped up, let us remove it. The soil looks dry, let us water it. It might be depleted, let us feterlize it. This is growing to large, let us prune. This is going to seed, let us cultivate before it does. The garden tells us when it is Time to do what. Now, if we can look at all the stuff—this is a shadow-term for the Taurean materials and attributes we possess, and an apt one, as it blocks the energy of our “unfolding” like the flowers we all are—on our agenda, today, or this week, or this month or year, the projects we are cultivating: It is best to stand back and look at them all as separate beds in our garden; and to only do what is necessary on this day or that to bring them to full fostering.

We don’t rush in the garden. We survey and savor. We Appreciate above all. Ironically, I find that Taurus people are the most challenged when it comes to the appreciation factor. It is their particular plot of metaphorical land to tend. Especially since they naturally possess great talent as a rule, making it all the more ironic. But the Bull can be myopic. They might see, in their minds I, what it is they want to the exclusive, even of what they already possess. In Sextrology we call the Taurus man The Idol and the Taurus woman The Ideal as both share a tendency to be held up in high esteem. But it begs the question: If the Taurus flower isn’t being prized and worshipped for all the beauty it brings, does it nonetheless appreciate itself?

Originally posted May 31, 2016:

Sometimes you just have to do everything. That is to say, in a world where we pick and choose our priorities, there are moments in life when doing it all is the most relaxing choice. Yesterday (five minutes ago) we talked about standing back and assessing all the plans and projects in your life as beds in that fixed-earth Taurus garden; and yes that is exactly how it is that we must view not only what’s on our plate but the full scope of all we possess. We will be told what needs doing by meditating on this bed or that. It isn’t linear, you see. We don’t power completely through one project, always, creating perfection and then move onto the next bit of business—yes, there are exceptions if we have a deadline imposed by an outside source, entity or authority but, let’s face it, the expectations of others are far easier to fulfill than our own, especially, if we are perfectionists living in an otherwise second-rate state. But when it comes to our own self-started and -made projects and plans, what’s the rush? Why not prepare the soil, plant the seeds and then sit back and see what takes and what needs redirection, cultivating, editing, etc.

We must let time be on our side in this—it is, after all, one half of the unfolding. It facilitates our ability to bloom without struggle or slightest hesitation. Fear. That is the factor. Fear. Of not having enough. That is the consequence, if we heed the allegory of the garden, of giving into temptation. Temptation to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The tree that makes us second guess—are we good enough. Self-consciousness sets in near the end of the span of human life ruled by the sign of Taurus, 7-14. It is then we are suddenly aware of our nakedness. Adam and Eve in their blissed-out, insouciant Garden are undeniable metaphors for our human existence at that time in our life when we are budding toward sexual maturity, unaware, perhaps ourselves, but typically not unnoticed by certain snakes in the grace that might be egging us on to take a bite out of sexually mature life. In the Greek mythos, Taurus is represented by the nymphs and nubile flower gods who are likewise unawares of the attraction they invite until its thrust upon them. And typically it’s not a pretty ending to the story.

We said that the Taurus chapters are called The Idol (Man) and The Ideal (Woman) both terms being dependent on the attention, attraction and opinion of others. Taurus people will tend to give others what Taurus thinks they want from them. And they tend to be very good at that. Typically, they are imitators, not to take anything away from them on that score. Not that they live the adage that imitation is the highest form of flattery—they scarcely know they are imitating at all. Or if they are, they will convince themselves of the viability of doing so. For, woe it is to the cardinal signs of the Zodiac, the Initiators, who aren’t often widely credited for their accomplishments in pioneering until that precious commodity of Time rediscovers them in hindsight; while the Imitators, typically the fixed-signs of the Zodiac, take the seeds that are sown by cardinal signs and fertilize the fuck out of them, perfecting their efforts down to the last detail, through rigid repetition, though they would have you think they haven’t put in all that much effort at all.

This was originally posted June 1, 2016:

And anyway, I will admit it: I am something of a magical thinker. And it has mainly put me in good stead. There have been downsides to it. But for the most part it has allowed me to live a pretty enchanted life. And for that I am grateful. I suppose I’m grateful to myself for not having to work for anybody else since….hmmmm….when was the last time I worked for anybody? I can’t even remember the last job I had where I had to punch a clock. Even when editing magazines, like we did at Wallpaper in London, it was in an exalted position and as an independent contractor of sorts. I had a work visa for a very short amount of time. I love London. It might be my favorite city all told because it has everything New York has and then some. It depends on what you want from a city I suppose. It changes for me year to year But I’m such an empath I can imagine myself everywhere. Except when I totally can’t.

I like the idea of having a number of little places around the world to hop to at will. So far I live quite in keeping with that ideal even though I really don’t own anything at this juncture in my life. I’m taking a break from ownership you might say. It’s nice not to have the responsibility and it will make owning homes and more possessions more fun when it does cycle back around. But I’ve prided myself on never being a materialist, but perhaps that’s been to a fault. People tell me I should pay myself, even, in working on the non-profit festival and producing but a) there hasn’t been enough money to do that; and b) it seems beside the point. I’m afraid that if I were to want a salary from the non-profit it might change how I do things. Also, I’m pretty unabashed in my approach to fundraising and I think I can be that ballsy because all the money goes to the cause and to the artists.

This was originally posted June 2, 2016:

The beauty about this Blague is that I can say anything I want on any given day at any given time. So why do I put it in the category of daily obligations ticking it off my to-do list? Because I’m a Libra? I have a Virgo rising?With Saturn in the 6th House? Probably. But there’s likely more to it than that. It all comes down to feeling propelled or dragged. And the entire object of this Cosmic Blague was to give my self an outlet for what I felt was universally, and yes cosmically, funny about human experience. Blague, in French, means joke. It just so happens to also make a punny sound for this forum. But in order to encounter the cosmic blagues, in life, you have to be living it. And, though I wouldn’t call myself a shut in, spending most of ones day writing is a recipe for isolation. Even my exercise keeps me in a bubble. At 8:40 this a.m. I will walk 7 minutes to Bikram Yoga and have monosyllabic interaction with people I don’t know. Following that, today, I do happen to have a client. But as soon as she has left I will be back here typing away.

I spoke yesterday about affective forecasting which is, in some ways, an energetic Taurus notion, activating the law of attraction in a sense. Expectation is still something that draws things to us, but it isn’t in any way passive. I think it will prove to be an important exercise, if not in the bringing of desired things to me, but in the clearing out of the human mechanism (we all have in us) that either expects or anticipates, longs for or worries about, and does other related type things. It’s a quasi emotional mechanism. It is more accurately, sensual.

I might operate under the notion that I’m a good person. Even when I’ve done bad things it’s either been unintentional or as a result of overemotional retaliation to people who’ve done me wrong—this is an area I’m working on. I’d like to say no-regret, coyote; but the truth is that it will always have been better to walk away and say nothing when others have wronged you (rather than, what I’ve often done, ripped those who done me wrong massive new ones). As a child of Mercury—that Virgo rising with Mercury, in Virgo, on the ascendent—I supposedly have a way with words. Well, that way with words has been known to be used as a weapon of mass destruction. I’m not proud of the fact. But it seems I store all information, good or bad, into the attic known as my brain and, though I am more tolerant than most people, if you super cross me, those toys come flying out of the attic directly at your face. I can always justify (or, let’s be honest, rationalize) doing this; but it would be so much better if I knew I had the ability to reduce people to rubble and then didn’t. In this latter part of my life, this is one of my main goals: To not have to resort to that old retaliatory behavior.

So, akin to the affective forecasting, is the notion of leaving more space between thougths and emotions and emotions and actions. If we are doing the best we can, forgiving those who trespass against us, instead of taking that eye for an eye; and otherwise keeping our side of the street clean, then even if we fail to reach a goal we can shrug it off, can’t we, knowing we’ve done the best we can. But if we think, if only I had tried harder. If only I hadn’t wasted time, worrying, especially. You may have heard me say it before but: If you’re worrying, you’re not working.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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