Taurus 20° (May 10)

Today might be a bit tough. I wasn’t in the best mood last night as a result of, well, a number of things. Reptiles of the mind as Blake put it. I don’t know what’s preventing me from moving forward these last few days. I mean I haven’t completely dropped the ball I’m just having a hard time not being distracted. There really is no reason to be, just my mind being a bit wacked out is all these days. I am trying to do better I really am. I’m looking forward to this trip away as a mental health break and hope to make some decisions about work and so forth before things start speeding out of summer control as they always do (let’s not kid ourselves). I will have to take my lumps meanwhile and try to figure out the path through. For starters I need to work on finishing up some of the sign intros for next year’s book. But it will have to keep because over the last couple of days I have let al my chores slip, giving into sloth and gluttony and other such sins. Speaking of sins I saw a funny movie called I think Small Hours or something to that effect, about fourteenth century nuns. I thought it was going to be serious and pastoral when I clicked it on but as the credits began to roll I realized it was going to be a comedy with Dave Franco, Molly Shannon and John C. Reilly. It was kind of dumb but in a benign and humorious way. Unlike Wine Country by Amy Poehler who, I’m sorry, is a total hack.

I will use this day to heal and catch up. I think not only that the only way out is through, but I think some of my recent upset and falling into a bit of a hole is part of the journey toward soaring which I intend to do. I really do need, first, to make some ammends which I will do; but mainly I need to give myself a good talking to, as Dylan said. My nerves definitely need a bit of soothing and I shall endeavor to take the next fortnight to put everything back on track and hopefully get back into the hot room. That is a personal goal of mine to be sure. Not that I fancy driving to Brewster every day but the point is I could. I think some shorter trips in the car might be good for me; I don’t expect you to know what that means as it refers to an inner struggle I’m working myself through. It will all be right in the end. I have hope for my immediate future and see no reason to postpone my joy. I have a ways to go and I have to take it a moment at a time really but the good news is I think I might do so fairly successfully and over the next two weeks I hope to walk on the beach every single day. It is time I believe to make that a reality. There are certain things I can put off and other things that I cannot. This falls into the second category.

Some of the main thoughts I need to get down on paper presently: Devising all the keywords for our new t-shirts. Really getting to the bottom of sic. Casting the festival and putting all fundraising into place. I have already spent the hour reorganizing my schedule. This has to be a marathon and not a sprint and I really want to honor myself and get a piece of work together that is cathartic. I might buy myself some nerve tonic in the coming days to see if there is any real effect from it. We shall see. There is some basic stuff you can get at CVS. I’d like to see if it can help with the inevitable bouts of anxiety over the course of the next several weeks. I need focus and concentration too. And meditation and silence. I know that with steady diligence I have the power to pull this off. I just need to embody the real meaning of the word courage: really just moving through. That’s my main goal here. I have some dragons to slay. To be sure, is Miss McKay would say.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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