Virgo 18° (September 9)

Today is a gymnast floor exercise. Packing, cleaning, hole-punching. Then we head into town and do bank and post office and wine shop and drop things at the restaurant and check into the hotel, which I’m glad we did early. We are in a pet friendly room next to an incessantly barking dog. After a few hours, sitting by the pool and otherwise getting our heads on straight, the incessant barking necessitates our changing rooms which was a godsend. Thank you barking dog because the new room is so so so much better. We almost fantasize about staying here by choice. During the day so many people RSVPd they were coming and so many of them didn’t. It was Mrs. Dalloway’s worst nightmanre. DS was a bit over the top.We walked all the way to the party (and back again). The food was delicious of course and it was very nice that the usual suspects showed up for us but I never understand these people who pledge and then pull out. They don’t understand the meaning of: we need to get an exact head count so that the restaurant knows how much to make. It not only makes me look bad when folks just don’t show, but it is really such a shame to see food and the effort put into it go wasted. I can think of a dozen off the top of my head who cancelled when I limited the list to thirty. I won’t name call, but some took up a lot of time working out the particulars of their RSVP I don’t know what is wrong with people. I am going to make major changes this year I can tell you that. JCM was no help at all and he said he would put a mention on social media. People are so unreliable. Where are the JVBs and TMs of the world? Since when did they drop out of the picture too. OMG I am Mrs. Dalloway. Meanwhile, who doesn’t like Virginia Woolfe? And if you don’t what does that really say about you?

I think Trevor is adorable. I am so glad he and Rachelle are here. And Paisley is the eternal doll. So blessed to have the quality crowd we had. DS drinks too much and was unruly. His husbear and friend are adorable and I really thought they would feature heavily in the week but alas they faded into nothingness. Nobody from this night who said they would come to my show actually came. Which is really a pity. I won’t say insulting because nobody has to do anything. But I feel there is this assumption that we are not going to deliver. That I’m not going to deliver. Fuck it I was pretty good. I’m not a musical sensation, but was I suppose to be?  I thought my show was thought provoking and people in the audience (all strangers, which in retrospect was like: thank gods), this one couple in particular (one tenth of my audience) made it a point to really tell me so afterward. That’s just as I predicted it. I know I’m going out of sequence because my performance it tomorrow, but you don’t think I’m actually doing all I’m doing and writing this week’s Blague in real time. Please get over yourself if you think that’s happening. I need to look good again. I’ll say that again. I need to look good again. But next week when I’m alone I will go on a bit of a bender as I do when alone in the world. So alone in the world. I feel myself the personification of the adage: out of sight out of mind. I often wonder if it weren’t for me makin an effort with friends would I ever see them. I do think my tendency for despair has been willing out. I probably should do something about that. I don’t think it has to be too late.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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