Sagittarius 21° (December 13)


I wake up and realize I don’t have my phone. I do the find phone thing and it says it is in the building. We call over to the other suite and it’s there. I go fetch it. N. meets me at the door. This will just be foreshadowing. I left my eyeglasses at the party last night or in the cab. I am losing things. This is never a good sign but part of the chain of pain. Whenever I am truly upset I lose my mindfulness and this is when problems happen. S. and J. go to Bergdorf Goodman and I stay in and have my breakfast and slowly pack and take another bath. It is now time to go and we call a bellman and for our car. This is a great hotel and the service is amazing. I go to the front desk to get change to tip the bellman and valet. We jump in the car and I feel this sense of forgetting this. We head across town and, as if by magnetization, I end up taking the right streets to beeline to the Henry Hudson. I am dizzy and exhausted and cannot drive fast. It’s going to be a little nerve wracking. It takes about five hours plss to get back. We are in Reading for dinner time. I bring in a bag or two at the time. We stopped for some wine and just as we do N. texts to say we should get some beer for the father in law which we reluctantly do for a number of reasons that will soon make themselves evident. We are hanging in the kitchen and the FIL is already drinking a beer—it isn’t one we brought. We are talking about last evening. FIL now asks for wine. This causes some kind of kerfuffle that seems not to be originating at this time but a continuation of some sort of struggle that has happened already. N. is making homemade pretzels and she is visibly upset. Apparently there was a trip to the doctor resulting in the statement that FIL has alcohol induced dimentia and, what with being on anti-anxiety meds, means he is not meant to have more than a single beer or glass of wine. He asks me to pour him one. I’m at a loss as to what to do. I pour him a small glass. This results in more tension and the statement that this is the absolute last time that he will be able to drink in this house. N. is putting her foot down and one has the sense that it is for good reason. I am asked to show my pictures of Nancy Pelosi which results in a search of all my belongings and the realization that I don’t have my phone. I do a search and it shows it’s at the hotel still but it is listed as an old search and I can’t tell if this is from this morning. I call the hotel and tell them I was in suite 3910, they say they will look and call me back. They do and they haven’t found it. I call them back and say that I was only in the room and in the lobby and directly into my car. They ask if there is a picture on my phone, I say there is, they ask if it’s a lady, I say it is. They laugh because they found a phone at the front desk and failed to consider that was the phone I was calling about since I didn’t say I left it at the desk. The point is it is there and they are going to FedEx it back to me. Ironically I am going to buy a new phone on Sunday. Anyway I missed a lot of the drama but sat back down to dinner, soup and those homemade pretzels.

You can cut the tension with a knife. The FIL isn’t making sense. He has a strange coughing jag. He is making zero sense. The dementia is real. I am asked to walk them out. He almost falls a few times. He seems really messed up. It is declared that this will be an alcohol free home from now on. Good luck at Christmas time. As if it wasn’t hard enough to get through thirty-six hours with people who are not only not my relatives but, as my inlaws seem to have collected strays over the years, aren’t related to anybody. And then there are the Trump people who also have no ability to listen or to pause between sentence of enough brain cells to begin with. I’m sorry if that sounds mean but I’m sort of sick to death of wasting my time out of some sort of dumb obligation. I will attend Christmas but I don’t think I’ll participate per se. I will likely spend the time doing something like this. If there is now a mandate that decrees we can’t even drink a little wine to get through the horror than all bets are going to be off for me to give a crap.


To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.


Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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