Capricorn 0° (December 22)

 

Woke at four and watched Nova and Nature. Then made a pot of coffee, cooked and prepped a few meals and did a bit of laundry. All the while I am thinking that I cannot go on this way. Last evening was a last straw and I suppose I did end up silently marking a turnabout with the Solstice. I sat down for a meal and, given the fact I never have a chance to discuss anything, let alone money, I was asking a few questions which were met with a total shutting down on the subject which would have been fine in and of itself. Except that instead of nipping things in the bud, I was met with a volumnous monologue all about how we are not to discuss such things (but we can discuss not discussing them ad nauseum apparently). I couldn’t stand another second and retreated to my solitutde and fell asleep as soon as I was able. So this morning I am resolute. I am never again putting myself through any of this. I am sticking to a singular path and will figure out as I go. My to-do list, as you might imagine (if you existed) is a mile long and I have forty-eight hours to go. My one and only goal in that time is to come down off all the tension I feel and to do the following:

Final dump run and then I need to cover the car with a tarp. Clean entire house. Pack my cases. I am going to be ridiculously spare on that subject. I need to go to bank and get a final accounting. I need to prepare a package of keys and instructions and deposit slips for Brad. I need to collect all of Terry K’s information which is strewn about somewhere. I will be adding to this list as the day goes on. Like finding a bunch of small safety pins. Also I will be going down the list of folks that might give late-breakingly to the cause and thus refill some of the coffers. This will largely be in vain but you never know. It should entail running down a list of the folks on my budget sheet. I will keep adding to this particular paragraph.

So having walked out on dinner last evening there is still a lot of uneaten salad and there is nearly an entire pot of soup. So today we will eat leftovers for lunch and we will have a veg plate of sorts for dinner. I can make some red onion and quinoa to go with it if we feel it necessary. It is Sunday. I have ten full days before the evening of the party. I am going to make a latch ditch effort and losing the extra and I am going to try and reduce my inflammation overall. I know it is possible for me to accomplish this if I set my mind to it. I will seem much changed to others. This is what we used to call “second semester” coming early this year. I need to stay spare and airy in my brain and stress free and so back to what I was saying about being in the kitchen this morning and having turned the solstice corner. I am really truly finished with certain dynamics. I will take care of the finances and settle things myself. I am no longer goig to ask for any information or allow for any more opportunites to have information that is meant to be privy me to be withheld. I am going to try my damnest to remain solo; but in so doing I have to be totally above reproach. These are things I can do. This is where being away might come in very handy. I have to find myself again and I have to work out a way to get all I need to get to into works. I will only be away for a few short months. And in that time I will cast the festival, reach out to the former stars, write an entire new series of 2021 books.

Ended up making a delicious lentil power pasta dish with cauliflower and having a pretty fun night in the end. Tried to watch SNL because everyone made such a big deal out of Eddie Murphy. It is still unfunny and not watchable. I am scrambling but I will get everything done. I need a holiday if nothing else and I’m going to make sure I have one.

 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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