Scorpio 26° (November 18)


We rose none too early, around eight, and headed down for breakfast as we have a new client coming around 10. He was quite a character—I think I mentioned we have all male clients this trip, which is a bit unusual. My stomach is acting really weirdly. Two nights before we left the Cape, I felt a weird pulling sensation in my lower left abdomen and I awoke today feeling much discomfort down there—it is in fact quite sensitive, even, to the touch. Great. So our interesting new client left S. had an appointment out and I decided to go downstairs and try and get a little more food in me as we await Alice’s arrival. Ribbolita is one of the themes of the week it seems so I just went ahead and ordered it; but with every slightest bite I can feel my stomach cramping. A search for distress in lower left abdomen brings up, first, diverticulosis. So maybe that’s what this is but it is not fun. Needless to say I didn’t sleep very well last night. Still I will fake feeling pretty okay. As would be expected we had a lovely time with Alice (when do we not?) and we continued to comb through questions and thoughts and feels. What was extraordinary was: She brought full renderings of the designs with her, with variations on numerous pieces and themes thereof, and even little models of some of the items, such as the more botanical bits, which gave me a weird, elated, feeling of butterflies all the way down to my hoo-ha.

The more that needs doing, of course, the more we have to do; but unlike with so many things, working on this all three of us together is a combination of pure joy and productivity in equal measure, for sure. And then it was time for dinner so we shuffled our jet- and otherwise-lagged selves over to L’Artusi for an early bite. We had a reservation for when they first opened and the place was already a crush of folks who likewise booked and others who were just showing up in hopes. It’s a pretty big place with lots of seating so everyone got in and it still wasn’t full. We went for it on the quality of a wine and ordered and shared three salads (though I only tried two) and S. got the bucatini, i got the carbonara and the Taurus got the steak. We were pretty shagged out by seven and A. came back with us to hotel to collect her things and then went on her merry way. I was convinced upon hitting the hay that my plans to be out and about the next day were fairly shot à cause de mon estomach.

There is much on my mind in any case and I know it will be kind of a hard scramble to get everything accomplished in time before setting off on this Euro journey. I’m still a bit creeped out by the Derian thing; to boot JCM hasn’t been in communication with me either, and it’s the same with the other J. D.; to be honest I reallyh am fine about it. These sorts of things used to hurt my feelings so much; but as my self-esteem has grown over the years I can honestly say it is their effing loss. At this point in the journey I’m not yet aware of how spooked I’m going to get; nor am I aware that this sensation will be short lived and that on the other side of it will be an amazing feeling of elation and liberation. All I know at this juncture is that I feel like physical crap, and, as in times like this, as if I’m never going to get back to normal, let alone feeling even remotely sexy again. But that will start to life I’m grateful to say. Somewhere in all of this I wrote to some old friends in London and Paris to see if they might be around when I am. It really would be quite something to get to see them on one end or other of the journey there. I just don’t think I need to be as abandoned (abandoning of myself moving forward as I have been of myself in the past). Still, of course, I understand why it is it might have been the case. There has to be some middle ground in all this. I shouldn’t have to completely leave the building always when I’m feeling stressed or in a bood. What’s the point of overshooting the mark so much you can’t even recall the good stuff in the situation. It would be so nice to be just a little bit less wound up. I mean I feel pretty great without all the adrenaline constantly surging through my body. I do think it is causing some side effects and that the tummy stuff might be related. But the fact I don’t give a crap about the usual stuff that bothers me is half of the equation moving forward. Oh to be in Paris and to have time and experience to myself as well as the shared ones with S. and to make my own writing schedule and to move from one moment to the next. Isn’t that what it’s all about. I dare say it is.


To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.


Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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