Virgo 7° (August 29)
Well I did most of the cleaning yesterday, top to bottom, mopping and the whole deal. This morning I prepped for the arrival of the inlaws, went to the dump.They will arrive in time for lunch and we have laid out a spread of cold cuts and rolls and tuna and cole slaw and there’s cofee and soda even, which we never have. They will eat and they will leave and I will work and I will cook and in the midst of it these questionables will write to say they are not coming for festival and I could have predicted it. That is almost the worst part. The banality of knowing that they were not through cancelling their contract they so wanted to cancel just days before; and for that they will receive karmic retribution I am sure of it. Meanwhile I will seek terrestrial compensation as well.
I will barely be able to pretend that things are fine. I will speak to James; and S. will come and go, gathering swimsuits and collecting wine; and then they will all be back and I will have put out an entire spread. And through pretend smiles and gritted teeth I will get through this evening. And I will go to the piano and sing. Suddenly everyone, I mean everyone looks terribly old, including myself. Maybe all the changes weren’t such the great idea I thought they were. I will be left with the decision to write a show or not write a show. I just have this feeling of fuck it. I said so the other day when I thought they were canceling the first time. I thought I would just get up and do a show because the show must go on. And that is the motto. I’m jealous of noone. I’m angry at noone. I will do what I have to do and I will do it well. The playing of piano will be the major challenge.
I do find it to be dispicable at times. The smoking of marijuana, for instance, becomes a target, a place for the aging to put all their vitriole. I really don’t understand it. How is smoking pot any better or worse than drinking alcohol. It’s so stupid and unbecoming. People are just mad, sometimes I think, because they can’t do certain things or don’t reap the benfits of doing certain things and so they have to demonize it. And I’m doing the best I can in a certain sense. I seem to be overusing the word certain. I do that because I’m sad and I use certain language as a subsitute for having had a real life. Today is depressing in case you haven’t wondered.
Well I did manage to get off a bunch of pleas for money none of which have yielded. Funny that. Pulling teeth this year. And yet I kinda don’t give a crap!
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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