Sagittarius 16° (December 8)
People must do their jobs and I must let them. I’m also not at all interested in the self-promotion that happens in this world. We all need to promote our business(es) and that I can respect. But this look-at-me culture in which we live is a depressing prospect even at its best. I watch all of season three of Maisel and the show has gotten better, funnier and more poignant. I am asking myself these days, though, whether I actually need television in my life at all; or most of technology for that matter. I’m looking very much forward to the change of scenery and the anonymity that it might bring. I sent another message to the Hotel Flora in Venice to see what’s what. I was thinking, too, once we figure out getting into Myddleton Square, that we could contact local Air BnB places and be able to stroll over and check out places in person before renting willy nilly. I’m a bit all over the place and today will be a day where I actually check myriad things off myriad lists. I’m not quite sure I know what they are but I trust that, over the course of the next few hours, that the list shall reveal itself. I don’t know why I feel like crying a bit today. There is no real reason except for the fact that I seem to be not blocking my emotions in any way shape or form. I suppose I’m feeling a bit more than usual. Not sure if that’s true but whatever the reason it is a bit upsetting and at the same time strangely life affirming. I do seem also to be losing some blub, however it is making it obvious where the general thickening is. I can’t help but imagining supersized organs taking up way too much space in my body, but I’ve alway been a little overactive in that department. I have to be all over the place today—it really is the only way to cope. In the morning hours, hopefully by 11am I will have sent travel suggestions to my friends and worked my way into my astrological work on the plate today. S. announced that the word of the day (I think from Dictionary dot com) was Ology. Of course it was. Maybe that’s why I feel like crying. Again people have to do their job. And I will have to do mine. And so, amid procrastinative peeks at real estate and resturant menues, at ten-thirty this morning, just two minutes away, I will hunker down—safe in the knowledge I have already had my breakfast, prepared lunch and dinner, made a grand to-do list, whitened my teeth and sorted out some packing choices for my week in NYC.
There is something funny I have learned about life. I wrote that sentence earlier and never finished it. That figures doesn’t it. Well I didn’t overachieve today, or this weekend, really, at all. But I did get a little something done. And the teeth whitening is underway! Weird how I can be intimidated by doing something so simple. Tomorrow I shall attempt to get into a little yoga by around ten AM. I get up at five pretty much every day so it shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. I will watch yet another series finale. I have a list of things to do. And there are still seventeen days left until I hop on a plane and get the ef out of here. Half that time I will be away, so I really have to watch my behavior over these next two weeks otherwisse I just might meet with an epic fail. Everything on the actual blackboard behind my head must go into a new document of the same name. I’m not really sure what happened yesterday working with Gary who is this guy who also works for people like the Edge (yay?) and Kanye West (yikes?); anyway he is a computer whiz and is helping me set up my new laptop without dragging over a bunch of old crap. At leas that’s what he said. I don’t think anybody has a clue as to what is going to happen to all the stuff we’ve created and stored on backups, hard-drives, other devices. Where will all this stuff go when we die? I guess: who cares, right? there doesn’t seem to be much of a legacy when it comes to it so I don’t think I should worry myself all that much, one wy or another. I want things to take. I’m not some born-rich guy nor am I some scrappy kid who had to make a mint. I’m just myself and I’ve plodded along as best I can, expressing myself as an actor, a writer, a journalist, an impressario, a producer, a performer (yeah I did that too); I’ve done a lot of things I suppose and could do a lot more. I didn’t give up on dreams like others have. I just wrote a killer proposal for a new book and if the people who were supposedly waiting with baited breath for it don’t bite in the end than I suppose I will have dodged a bullet. Any meeting that takes longer than forty-five minutes will typically not result in anything; never mind a two and a half hour meeting, being held hostage, by someone who speaks in babytalk.
I am rounding the corner. I am coming up on meeting myself in the hot room. I am not where I want to be (quote unquote) size wise, but I’m feeling happy and healthy and determined to keep that energy going. Not to say I will deny myself the usual pleasures but having done so for awhile now (as an experiment) I am noticing the ways in which one doesn’t immediately snap back as one once did and how I’ve been laboring under the delusion that I would. So I have some work cut out for myself. But it isn’t so insurmountable as all that. And I will look on the bright side that the first layer of excess has been lopped off and I’m now free to focus on a very managable (and largely unnoticeable, or, at least, easily hideable) “situation.” I’m sad about the losses; but I get said watching some animal show on “Nature” where one of a pack of wild dogs gets hit by a Land Rover and causes all the other dogs to sniff around it making sad noises before moving on with their lives. We are all wild dogs. Just this week a number of Provincetown people left us and, though none of them was anyone I knew very well, there is still this sense of predator death lying in wait for all of us. The only thing to combat these great inevitabilities is to do good work and to do good works.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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