Pisces 10° (February 28)

I really hope the orange blob gets what he deserves. Laying low today and giving myself a little bit of a break. I will redo the schedule and make a plan for the next few weeks. S. texted to say she will likely come back on Tuesday instead which is fine. I seem to have enough food in house. I’ll finish the kedgeree for lunch and will end up eating a bag of gluten crackers for dinner. Watching the Allen v. Farrow and I really have much better insight into who Mia is and I really do think that she is genuinely compassionate and was primarily a mother first and an actress (and a great one, truly). There is a lot to unpack in this particular episode. I have started the cleaning process and planning the cooking for the coming week. I sent Mike a text and he seems to be struggling. I will get back to him: Now for some more notes of an astrological nature: Gemini is always involved in some task at hand, even if dreaming and scheming, hatching new plans. We have long assigned the archetype of the air sprite Tinker Bell to women of the sign, a character who is never not in the process of some pressing matter or manipulation, a lovable, mischievous mix of dual forces, a seemingly self-serving agent of good, who will nonetheless make great sacrifices for those she holds most dear. Gemini is tenacious and laser focused on what’s presently on her plate and she can quickly tackle projects and move through and onto the next; but for her, multi-tasking is a no-no recipe for neuron fritzing burnout. That said, she doesn’t believe in not letting others see her sweat, often telegraphing how put-upon she is by the marks she has to hit, making mountains out of minutia. Even when there are no deals to make, merchandise to move, or other such ships to launch, she will occupy her time with elective chores that she will undertake with the same amount of import and loaded frustrated sighs designed to instill the fact in others that she works harder than you do. It might seem that she is controlling a special ops raid, remotely from her computer, meanwhile, she may just be ordering stuff she doesn’t need, and will ultimately return, amid those loaded sighs, off the interweb. It’s actually a great ploy, preventing others from asking too much from and overloading her, while inspiring eyerolls from those who have her number.

The following blocks of text are exceprts from my first year of  Blagues, nos. 1661-1665. I am reading through all of my Blagues, five per day, and posting some samples here. Now, in my sixth year of writing this Blague, by the time I get to my seventh, I will have journeyed through all the daily Blagues of my first five years. If that’s confusing I apologize. Year seven, I’ll only have to read through year six, once a day.

Last night was one of lousy sleep. I woke up like every hour, coughing and/or wheezing. I have to get my act in gear today. As suspected the stupid car window people didn’t come in the, forgiving the pun, window they said they would. So waiting around for nothing all day. It is so annoying. I do want to hear from the agent but at the same time I have to let that expectation go. I’m giving myself certain antcipation agita and (I know from experience) it could end in tears. If there isn’t a book there isn’t a book. I have been waiting all day for the stupid window repair guy to not show up. Was supposed to be here from eight till noon and now it is past four o’clock in the afternoon. I’m really over it I must be honest. I woke up feeling pretty coldy which, knowing me, will pass, without my actually getting ill. But I do feel quite on the verge I must be honest. I know why of course—exposure to smoke always makes me feel this way. Even a very working fieplace can cause me to manifest a cough or worse. I’m so tired of the stressing and of not getting anywhere fast. Oh well, the window guy is finally here and the water is draining perfectly from my sunroof so that’s good news. He is going to replace my windshield (again) but leave the gasket and seal with some urethane. Isn’t this interesting?

I watched the rest of the Grégory documentary on NetFlix when I woke at four this morning because it had subtitles and wouldn’t bother anyone. Then I watched doc of Wynn Handman whom I had never heard of, but that is more a show of my ignorance than anything else. I got to feeling low about having given up on certain dreams; and the weird synchronicities I suffered like starting a poetry and performance night in 1992 or thereabouts at the Bell Caffe and not being able to reach Dael Oerlandersmith who showed up to perform when the project got scrapped. Of course she went on to do great things. I can’t even remember how it is I got the word out back in the day; but I do know that performers contacted me. I was always feeling bad about myself back in those days. (Have things changed all that much.) I have felt disposable as a friend, and seem to relive that trauma over and over. I try to think back on certain times when I felt really solid. I do  know that just prior to moving (back) to NYC (area) in 1987 I wasn’t really concerned with other people in any kind of major way. I was reading the Vedas and the Upanishads and Creative Visualization and was on quite the New Age trip which has now become Now Age. I suppose we can now draw a line from that in such a way that validates my current existence. Although watching that doc on Wynn Handman definitely triggered me and the fact that I didn’t stick on my acting path. I know it’s not too late and I do plan on doing something about it in the coming years (gods willing) and even tying it into something of a book idea. I think the last time I was on Broadway I was twenty nine. I think that makes sense. So maybe I will do something about that at my thirty year anniversary of paying dues to Actors Equity but never quite working as an actor. I don’t believe I took the “wrong” path because there was nobody giving me much support; and pretty much everyone I know who has made it as an actor is either an offspring or never had to work a day in their life on anything but. So that is the long and short of it and I’m certainly not going to feel bad. If Tony Goldwyn couldn’t make it as an actor in the business there would have been something very wrong with him—for instance.

I was trying to piece together my calendar today but frankly I’m just not feeling all that up to snuff. I have a bunch of coldy symptoms which (as they usually do) should pass through me fairly quickly. I must resist the urge to cushion my brain in any way and, the first line of dietary defense, is my instituting some intermittent fasting which is what I did naturally when I was younger. When I look back to my late teens, early twenties, I think that I was something of a manorexic without knowing it. I remember, living in Paris, in 1985, I would go for long stretches without eating and would just order regular old tea with lemon to fill up my stomach. I realize now that I was following some instinct to work against (what has turned out to be) a genetic disposition to be a total fatty. Look I haven’t given myself a lot of time, now, leading up to my departure, twenty-eight days from now. But that is four solid weeks so that is something. I just got lost in social media what a total joke it all is. How does one reclaim there life in this day and age. Everybody is so concerned with being more amazing than the next person. I cannot wait to get out of this emotional wasteland for awhile. I don’t know how much attention people truly need. I just want to focus on giving people guidance and solace and a little bit of laughter in this life. The same people online praising the same other people in this endless chimerac swirl of nothingness. I will hope in vain to hear back today on the subject of books and my night will go too late dealing with repair people. I will be nearly too ill to eat but will manage to get through and then get into bed early with my afflictions.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.