Cancer 0° (June 20)

Yeah, well, sometimes I need the writing of this Blague purely for the reason of sanity. It is relaxing not to have to type, and to get into the flow of speaking out the words instead of forming them through some coalition of brains, screen and fingers. I was watching the Cedar waxwing’s just now grateful that they’ve moved on to the second Cherry Tree meaning they’ll be around for awhile longer. They are the most special creature I think I’ve ever encountered; they’re like spiritual beings that float in every June. The early part of today was tough; it’s a bit of a slob going through Sextrology and encountering the past . It’s a little embarrassing actually to discover the ways in which the work is not as good as I thought it was. There is relief though and the two dimensionality of the work in a sense because we didn’t say a great many things in the end and we really focused on sex so I feel pretty free to say a great deal moving forward. And still there’s more nagging at me, the friendly cancellations, the accumulated gaslight, which at this point either threatens to unravel me even more or pushes me forward into a completely new era. I’m going to go with the latter and let success unfold. Today will see me turning a corner and that was the plan in any case; however we also found out that we might be taking a boat trip this summer after all—depending on border closures and so forth—and so I have extra added insensitive to make this switcheroo. We will be having lobster rolls for dinner tonight to commemorate the start of summer at 5:43 today, and then tomorrow is a new moon, so it is as good a time as any to make this change. Drove into Provincetown this a.m. and only about half the people are wearing masks. I do not get it. I am going to limit any contact of any kind, especially with that town. I’m not sure why it is that we have no more donations, especially as certain people said that they would be sending. Not sure what’s going on there but I’m certainly not going to push. It is a very hot day here on the eastern seaboard and I’m going to do precious little on the work front today. I just want to move things along as best I can and take a nice little break so that I can accomplish all that needs accomplishing. It really needn’t be too much of a stress at this juncture.

It’s kind of annoying around here these days thanks to the loud mouth farmer and all his redneck friends crowding the property all day. I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of good to say right now. I had to unsubscribe to someone’s newsletter because she sends too many of them and she has never worked a day in her life and fancies herself an indie-rocker when she is simply a spoiled trust fund baby whose mommy (who married someone super rich) bought her a house in Provincetown so she can do nothing but self promote and make terrible music. Besides she is friends with the evil theater director who tried to shake us down for money. Idea for a one-man play parody: The Night David Drake Extorted Me. That would be quite a good piece of art. I despise that creature, he is the absolute worst. He has fooled the world though. I have pretty much gotten to the point of realization that the worst people I have ever met are those who are in recovery programs for decades. They never seem to get any better, although I suppose they could be a lot worse. But the fact remains they pretty much stay the same. You’d think if you went to forty meetings a week something might transform in your psyche, but no. And how anonymous is it anyway. I mean if you go to a meeting in a petrie dish like Provincetown and say “there is this guy who runs a performance festival and he was really mean to me” then everybody knows you’re talking about me. Seriously, the worst people seem to  make these awful meeting rooms there stage for malignant narcissism and that’s really just about that. This is a very negative space for me to be in I realize but I just can’t help it. It’s really hot out and I’m aggravated.

But I can’t leave this post today on a negative note so I will try to get some positive vibes going here. I’m going to make fried corn and lobster salad and drink a lovely pink sparkling cabernet franc and take a hot shower and let loose some prayers. Tomorrow is going to be a very big work day; and I have to move a few mountains over the course of the next week. I truly cannot believe that the GOP is now quoting one of our friends in keeping LGBTQ legislation from happening in the senate. I don’t know how we got to this particular place to be honest.

The following blocks of text are exceprts from my first year of  Blagues, nos. 436-440. I am reading through all of my Blagues, five per day, and posting some samples here. Now, in my sixth year of writing this Blague, by the time I get to my seventh, I will have journeyed through all the daily Blagues of my first five years. If that’s confusing I apologize. Year seven, I’ll only have to read through year six, once a day.  (For thirty days this paragraph will include this parentheses to say: I realized that in the summer of 2016 I actually didn’t post for some time, such that for the expanse of two months, I will continue to number the past Blagues, as above, five at a time, but there will be nothing to post from that period.)

(Crickets)

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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