Sagittarius 27° (December 19)
Yesterday I went to Yarmouth to the dermatologist and made the mistake of passing through some old haunts. Thre is a new online newspaper called the Independent to which people are contributing. I will only do so if there was money in it. It didn’t help my mood to take this trip today. I have a bunch of errands to do as well and that’s fine. I fell off my yoga wheel and will try to get back on during the course of the next couple of days. I’m giving myself ninethy minutes to write the next three days of posts because, if you’ve been paying attention, we are late to the party. Okay so here I go, kicking into a sort of hyper mode, which is the only way to go. I drove past the West Dennis beach I drove up Old County Road. And then made the mistake of going up Gorham, ours is the only house on the street that exists solely in memory. I want to get and stay ahead of all the curves. I want the pain I feel to fuel something. I am frightened of this trip ad of myself. I am tired of the withholding way that so-called friends (who never really were) are wont to treat me. I am going to get into this feeling today and I am going to accelerate it into a burning feeling of fiercity. I’m tired of the self-promoters and all their bullshit. I need time off to fucking get my brain around everything that is now happening and I don’t see why I shouldn’t. I am going to try and book some low-key characters. I have to shed five pounds in the next ten days. That is something that must occur. It should be easier. If I can just stop chowing like a pig and drinking like a fish. That messed up Shari E. who stood us up all those years ago—figures, as she’s a friend of that soulless Jack P.—well turns out that she is a major Qanon Trumpster. Big surprise there. We took down all her art and will likely burn it. I’ve lost so many things I’ve loved it’s not hard for me to lose shit I don’t care about Merry Fucking Christmas. Oh, man: I have no holiday spirit to speak of. Negative holiday spirit. I’m so mad at the world this week. But it’s no use pretening I’m note. I have to go through this as part of my process. Not meant to be speaking to the usual middle wo/men until after the holidays. Once I get the full skinny I’m going to go for the jugular. I know the universe can do the work for me. That will be my m.o.. There is not only no reason for revenge; it actually does the opposite of the desired effect.
And so I try and try to turn the corner on this particular issue that is burning at my core. I spent so much of the year writing a book and trying to get it published. The first round people didn’t bite as expected. Would that we didn’t’ go from “I’ve got so many editors chomping at the bit” to waah, waah. So that will be the first thing to figure out: How can that be. That will be the first thing we tackle. The second thing will tackle is this bad wrap bulsshit by HarperCollins. I will pick up the thread and write about the fact that we wrote for the worst person ever Joe Dolce (well actually his boss Bonnie Fuller was the worst person ever). I hope they are Googling themselves and see this. There have never been more unspiritual, soulless people than these two. At least I’m lucky enough to say that. So wow, yes, this is a purge. I am getting out all my vitriol. Underneath it is me, HI!, Quinn the Kind. I promise I haven’t gone to the dark side. I just need to release this shadow. I need to get to my truth. I will happily write a tell all. There is so much to say and do and so and say and say say say. Sherherazade. I don’t mind the free association. We had a mini vocal band back in the day called The Free Associates. It was a fun offshoot of the other more elaborate jam bands I was in. With my so-called best man. Ha! That’s a joike. I have always attracted the same one zodiacal sign as my best friend for as long as I can remember. And they always betrayed me. Always turned on me. They were always insular and selfish. I think I bring out the worst in this particular sign. Have I said enough already. I’d like to think I have. I have so much more to get to and I don’t know that I ever will.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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