Libra 4° (September 27)

I do understand the need for spiritual communion. I know that’s why people join cults and by that I mean subscribe to any organized religion, even the big three. As someone with no family of origin and no offspring one might think I’d be the perfect candidate. And though I often feel very alone in the world, which, I will admit, has driven me to anesthetize those feelings from time to time, in the main I use those so-called negative feelings to fuel my ambitions and projects, not least of which is championing other artists—I actually feel that’s where I put my parenting, if you will. Why am I bringing this up. Oh yeah: Still I do understand the need to enter into some kind of group dynamic where others are gathering around the same hearth of understanding. And I do miss, and intend to reexplore, my feelings on this score and how it is I might go about making connections that can sustain me. Maybe it would be a meditation scenario of some sort. In the meantime, and because I do need to rekindle my preferred means of exercise, the form of which also constitutes certain meditation, I will start there. And as we find our city and I can nurture other such aspects of self, I will find my way in that regard. I have one major project on my plate for the next four weeks and once I’ve sailed through that, I must say, everything should get easier. I harbor no false hope about what this autumn will entail. Mainly I want to remain healthy and have a good deal of fun. I have to start facing certain challenges without the aid of any crutches, something I also feel should be quite doable. But do I want some kind of community? I do. Do I see myself wearing a nametag and going to the UU, I do not. Can I imagine some kind of Buddhist scenario? Maybe. I was thinking of theosophy…then I went down a rabbit hole trying to remember the name of the great professor at B.U. who taught a course on Webern Schoenberg Kandinsky Mondrian and how they were all theosophists. That’s probably not quite my beat either. I need a little esoteric book shop. I am again thinking about the north shore. We will do a little research this year as things begin to materialize. All will unfold I can’t try to make it.

I got up at five today to get some work done but so far I’ve writeen this far and gone down some rabbit holes and I don’t think I’m really accomplishing much which is also ok I think because the best thing I can probably do for myself is get the hell off this spiral today and take a nice relaxing drive to Boston, well, Reading, where it is a little girl’s birthday and there will be a party and I might as well try to give over and enjoy it. I should be in bed by nine if I can possibly swing it and swing it I shall. I will get to the dump this morning and go talk to Mike the mechanic. Why are all mechanics actually called Mike? I still as yet have not heard back from half the fellows I invited up to the Cape for Oysterfest, but that might be just as well. I have my own ideas about that in any case. We shall see what we shall see. I do want to make an appointment with Boston University about my transcripts because it is really bothering me that it was they who basically ruined my grade point average. They had nothing set up. I’d like to make a case about that. I also very much want to thread back through our “world” and put all the pieces together and make a plea for Bostonia magazine. There are certain holes in my experience that I very much now want to see filled. I am very much looking forward to the collaboration with Tim. And to the proliferation of these new books in a major way. I want to go through each and every one of my friends. If I send one hundred notes per day for forty days that’s four thousand people. I don’t see why I can’t put something like that together. I would like to hear back from Joe’s Pub that is also leaving a bit of a hole in my experience; it’s me and my disability to achieve closure on things, of this I am aware.

So I have an hour before I have a bit here at home and head north. So I’m forced to finally sit down and reckon with what’s going on. En route to that I am having to weed through some accumulated papers; and as is my custom I might just type a few of them in verbatim. One: Sextrology wallpaper (which is weird because I wrote Ken Fulk yesterday in regard to astrological wallpaper he did with someone). “A system by which everything is ordered.” Survery Sextrology take the impersonal points and list them thusly, writing a more philosophical treatise. Two: Instagram Afterglow start with existing folks and take tons of pics and follow and post all shots of previous festivals and tag people (sounds like such an obvious thought, why I had to write this down I can only chalk up to mind racing in a thousand directions). Three: Calypso then October 7 (this means for Blague purposes I should go back to these dates for fodder for material for writing and for a possible one man show—little did I know I would be forced to write a one-man show, with music, in the course of five days in order to replace an irresponsible performer backing out last minute. I still need to bring this to pro-bono lawyer in Boston once I get a hot minute. All other papers went into the trash and now I have forty minutes to start reacquainting myself with the process at hand which is the most important thing on my plate now and for the next month. I can ill afford any more distractions and must instead go deep into the proverbial zone.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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