Aries 16° (April 6)
I can’t say that I have combatted all fear but I am doing my best. And I have clawed my way out of the latest rabbit hole. And I’m happy that things are going as well as they are despite the fact that I am in full acknowledgment of my dark side. Fitting that I’ve been watching the new season of Sabrina which is itself fabulously dark. I have to rip the band-aid off on pretty much everything in the coming days and let myself receive NO(s) for an answer.
I’m happy for JCM’s new podcast, the origins of which are rooted in Afterglow. I’m smart. Smarter than most. And I’m also a verifed psychic. Something which can easly backfire. I only have about fifty minutes to write a ton and I’m going to do it. By employing this new trick I learned. Well, I taught myself. Writing short sentences. Which itself tends to release ideas. So it’s not really a trick for filling up some post out of quantifiable obligation, but it is a qualatitive tool as well. I think about how we would have tests in school in 44 minute class. Remember being bored in class only to remember now that it was 44 minutes. I want to remember every hour of every day I ever spent. I feel so much of my life has been unnaturally ordered. I mean and now I’m suddenly fucked because like some dumb student in class I just sat here on my ass and hands not writing anything. Does this paragraph look chunky enough?
And I wonder, now, too, if I can say something, anything, interesting. I think I can: I have gotten a number of people sober. That’s a bad construction of a sentence but it is the only way it makes sense. I type and erase the next sentence. I wonder why people are so vast and unbecoming and then revel in the off- amazing contact. There is a divine being lying back staring at the ceiling and I wonder what s/he wants. Is it me? Am I capable of transcendence. Is there alchemy and are those who pretend to be really really. S. and I read Madame Blavatsky tonight and it was it’s usual tangle of starting out comprehensible and then going places that were head scratching. And where no amount of scratching, probably, would help. I’m going to Greece this year. And I have to make all new appointments before and aft. You don’t know what that means. Let’s put it this way. I will be days behind no matter what I do.
My neck keeps cracking and not in a good way. Today people told me they would give me answers and they haven’t. I am a warlock with power I don’t use. I will unlock/leash only when I feel in the best possible place because I want it to benefit people. I flash back to sitting in the tiny kitchen in my childhood apartment in Jersey City, staring out the window, in the midst of the hippie movement and feeling the mantle of love ( I think the movement was sending out) descend upon me. The memory is pink meets yellow light and gorgeous and lovely. There were Peter Max illustrated star-sign posters in the Post or Daily News. It was the age of Aquarius and Andy Warhol. And I had plastic stop-sign pillows. I will have to spend some hours in my sleepless nights writing the rest of this as I am metaphorically possessed by some demon right now that wants me not to have good relations with people or to get anything done.
If I were any kind of astrologer I would lead with the cosmic language of the day. Maybe I’ll get to that tomorrow.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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