Virgo 29° (September 21)

Still feeling very sore but decided to try a little walk on the beach. The waves were crazy and the shark warnings were up. Nobody was swimming but nothing will keep surfers out of the water that is for sure. We worked out a great many things actually. I’m actually going to write up some beach minutes. Here goes: When if they get in touch, like last time, we will cite a timeline and having to move on to meet deadlines. We will also say that in your correspondence you were clear you would be in touch with us and come up with something to show and also attaching a price tag. (Not bringing up mixed messages of one saying one thing and the other saying the other. And so on. We decided that it is too soon for the Vermont folks. We also decided to greenlight Helene and Elisa. This sidelined into conversation about key stationery items in keeping with an antiquarian stationers/objets and booksellers/with a hint of alchemy shop being the backdrop, the art direction, of any kind of retail or, even, studio space. We talked about leather, paperweights and the kind of diaries only we can do. We are on the same page with this soft launch, where we get out all the kinks, and we might think about making a harder launch with 2020. The HA books promotion will happen when it happens. We will frontload the Paris Consultancy as an experiment this year, if only for shits and giggles, making all of the design worlds a potential pool of new clients, plus working the ango/americans in Paris angle. One very good reason to target design worlds, too, is because we will have already entered into it ourselves. With the pendants, first, probably.

Sometimes I want to cry because I cannot find a friend with whom I can be my total self. Someone to do things with, to talk to, to bare my soul. I have this of course in my primary relationship but, even so, you want to be able to share your feelings on your relationships with someone you’re not in one with. For me it goes further. I’ve always bonded more emotionally with friends than they have with me. This must be narcisissm: because I want to find someone just, or as much as possible, like me. It would be so nice. This is why, as a child, I was convinced I was a twin. That it either died or I consumed it or something. I used to play a joke on new friends that I was a twin and I would take them home and say I had to run upstairs, not letting on that we also had a back stair, and then I would quickly change my shirt and part my hair on the other side and I even had these fake black horn rimmed glasses with non-prescription lenses; so I could be very convincing in a flash. This of course was the actor in me.

I never “made it” as an actor in the traditional sense. I never auditioned and got parts. I had close brushes, weird close brushes with success. Like when Darren Starr wanted to personally cast me on a show of his and then it got cancelled the next day. Magical hours in between. Then there was the day I spent hours auditioning, and waiting and being called in and audition, rinse and repeat, for The Kentucky Cycle that was coming to Broadway. I don’t remember who I auditioned for exactly, someone with the last name Warner I remember, but they were obviously impressed by whatever I was doing and treated me like I was a star, and then I think that project fell through too. I already didn’t get the part but I don’t think the show every materialized. I really don’t know because I didn’t go to theater. First I couldn’t afford to and second I had other jobs, always more than one, that I was juggling to pay rent and off student loans and have some semblance of a life as a young married person in New York City in the earliest 1990s. I just looked the play up on Wiki and it did run for only thirty-three performances on Broadway and failed to win a single thing because it was the Angels in America year and Kushner swept it. And it wasn’t the last name Warner it was his first, Warner Shook. That’s who I auditioned for, of course, the actual director. I don’t even think I knew that at the time strangely. And what a great fucking name by the way.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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