Capricorn 1° (December 22)

The sign of Cancer is ruled by Mother Moon and it governs the fourth astrological house of, among other things, the female population. Cancer embraces a world view, that of existence, as female, a mother source needing our protection. It is distinguished as the cardinal (initiative) water sign of the zodiac—think of a literal bubbling spring or source of a river. Cancer women, by their nature, embody this energy, being fountains of feeling. Cancer men, meanwhile, tend to work on the emotions of others, especially women, to whom the male Moonchild appeals on the level of being the kind of guy a girl or fellow can take home to mother: A clean, well-scrubbed, if not eternally collegiate candidate for a reproductive and/or romantic partnership. Cancer Man doesn’t fancy himself the king that Leo does; he prefers to play a comfier, seemingly sidelong role akin to that of prince consort to some loving force-of-nature on whose emotional support he is kept aloft, swept-along, navigating his way toward a life of shared success. Cancerian Earnest Hemingway’s Jake Barnes is drawn in by the stronger female force of of Brett Ashley. It’s the same in same-sex relationships. Cancer man demurs in day-to-day decision making, only sweating the big stuff, letting a more domineering, but no less type-A, loved one feel s/he’s running the whole show, but it’s not always so. Faster than Kevin Bacon can drop his wife’s name into a sentence, Cancer guy will sidle in sideways, just like a crab, and assert his agenda, taking hold of situations with a vice-like tenacity you never saw coming. For your consideration: A list of uncalloused Cancer men who have mutually benefitted from having their oft sappy chick-flick selves appeal to a predominantly female, not to mention a more dominant-male, population: Tom Hanks, John Cusack, Harrison Ford, Tobey Maguire, Tom Cruise, Patrick Wilson, Daniel Radcliffe, Milo Ventimiglia, Benedict Cumberpatch, Topher Grace, Vin Diesel, David Hasselhoff, Robin Williams, Chris O’Donnell, Burt Ward, Chris Isaaks, Billy Crudup, Chace Crawford, Kevin Bacon, Josh Hartnett, George Michael, Justin Chambers, Michael Phelps, James Brolin, Jimmy Smits, Kris Kristofferson, Prince William.

Cancer men seem to foster support from the general populous, striking a chord and becoming synonymous with their field of interest. Orville Redenbocher. Richard Branson. Jesse Ventura. Michael Flatley. It’s amazing what some of these guys can be famous for. As, quicker than you can say David Hasselhoff, the sign of Cancer has a way of breeding those who capture public imagination and make bank on it Many a Cancerian man distinguishes himself as a single name who defines a whole area of expression—Hemingway, Rembrandt, Bullfinch. Forbes. And why? Because Cancerian men are narrowly focused on their field with a wide stance in their appeal. And as a bit of a side note: Whether or not you actually believe we went to the Moon, the fact remains that Cancer men often do end up looking a lot like the Man in it. You decide whether or not he might also be described as cheesy. Behold the bald and the beautiful Cancerian males who glow with a kindly condescension, a subtle superiority and a distant devotion. And beware the chrome-dome glare: Patrick Stewart, John Glenn, Yul Brynner, Jeffrey Tambor, Terrence Stamp, Larry David, Jesse Ventura, Montel Williams, Anthony Edwards, Donald Faison, Michael Jace, Vin Diesel, Gerald Ford, Kurtwood Smith, Forest Whitaker, Mel Brooks, Danny Glover, Mike Tyson, Zinedine Zidane, Dalai Lama, Anthony Edwards, Jackie Earle Haley, Dan Aykroyd, David Drake, Prince William and all the future folically challenged Canerian fellows.

Moonchild man lives in a private word, both real and imaginary, avoiding conflict or sometimes, even, anything more than vague interaction, at all costs. In the literal sense, he prefers solo work, which he can perform, set apart, ebbing and flowing to his own rhythm; and, figuratively, too, he must let his mind drift to imaginings of would-be scenarios he might ultimately realize. He appears the personification of hope and promise needing naught but cultivation to draw him out. Meanwhile, he accesses others sensitivity, appealing to their feelings as well as their funny bones, sensitivity and humor being hallmarks of his charm. One feels safe in the company of the Cancerian, that on this journey through life, he is happy to be a designated driver. He is so unassuming, or so it seems. The truth is he is one of the more deliberate and calculated characters on the astrological block, though rarely in an insidious sort of way. He simply believes in the fulfillment of his potential and he will get his hooks into situations, and people too, whom he considers to play a part in the unfolding of his destiny.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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Sagittarius 30°

Gossip, girl: The Gemini gamine can gab if not babble like a bird on a wire. The mutable air sign of Gemini is concerned with pure, buzzy, etheric, information: what’s in the air. The sign’s ruler Mercury is named for the winged capped and footed god, its symbol recalling a pesky antennae’d insect, pulling info from the ether. Or perhaps they’re not antennae but the wing-tips of an angel, an agent of soaring divinity, such as Mercury, the messenger, is to his chief god, Zeus. So, if Gemini man, like Mercury, is a messenger, then Gemini woman is the message itself; and a mixed one at that. She often is the gossip, controversial, whether innocently or purposefully. Female counterpart to the god Mercury is winged Eris, goddess of discord. Arguably, she is a deity of information, the embodiment of the collective buzz, which is, by its very nature, discordant. Discord supposes, indeed incites duality, the principle energy of Gemini. Eris doesn’t just throw information out there, she plants ideas in others’ heads. So when she tossed an apple scrawled with the words “for the fairest of them all” into a chic party she caused a fracture and factions to form. Gemini can be a scandal; and a scream, a party girl, albeit a light-weight one—like tiny Tinker Bell getting blotto on a thimble of hooch. She’s sensitive, you see. Eris tossed the apple because she wasn’t invited to that party. Slighted, she caused outright Trojan War, the central figure being another prime Gemini archetype, Helen, the actual twin of Pollux, the divine so-called twin to mortal brother Castor—the two boys form the constellation of Gemini. Helen and Pollux hatched from a divine egg. Castor and Clytemnestra from a mortal egg. Their mother Leda must have lain with her husband before Zeus, as swan, had a go. So. Helen and Clytemnestra personify female Geminian duality. One passive, one not so much. Helen? A scandal! She was given to Paris by Aphrodite for choosing her most fair in his judgment—he was bribed—deal-making being endemic to this sign,. It is fromMercury that we get the word merchant. In our book, Sextrology, the Gemini women chapter is called The Gift. Of the gab, yes; but more than that: Gemini women always seem to possess such qualities, attributes or talents that could only be explained by way of divine endowment. They are exciting and challenging, enlivening and provocative, both, always equal parts a mixed bag of Mercury’s tricks; more perhaps, than one bargained for, something of a commotion, possessing a certain talent for winning every argument, sometimes by way of seeming insouciance. The likes of Joan Collins, Wallis Simpson, Angelina Jolie, Lauryn Hill, Kathleen Turner, Anne Heche, Michelle Phillips, Stevie Nicks, Melanie Brown, Joan Rivers, Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, Naomi Campbell, Heidi Klum, Anna Kournikova. Helena Bonham Carter, Zoe Saldana, Alanis Morissette, Pam Grier, Juliette Lewis, Gina Gershon, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are no strangers to controversy.

Gemini is ruled by winged Mercury, god of the crossroads. Being at a crossroads spells a difficult decision. After winged Eris lobs that apple into the divine party someone must decide who is the fairest. The Judgment of Paris sees that poor boy choosing Aphrodite who promised him Helen for the honor. Helen hooked up with Paris who was from the wrong side of the tracks. Fast forward to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet whose suitor, pre-Romeo, is likewise called Paris. The name Juliet translates to both “child of Jove”, a name for Jupiter, Greek: Zeus, and “downy” another nod to birds. Star-crossed and prone to love at first sight with someone from the wrong side of the crossroads, Juliet is a prime literary archetype of the Gemini woman in keeping with the sign’s rule of the human age of 14-21, a time when one first bites into the apple of temptation. Helen and Paris; Romeo and Juliet are forbidden fruit. This matches the biblical view of the zodiac as well. The first fiery sign Aries is akin to big-bang creation; Taurus to the lush green Eden and temptation; and Gemini, the twins, the Fall, duality, is the consequence of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Helen and Juliet are echoes of the prurient Eve; as is Nabokov’s Lolita who tempts duality incarnate in Humbert Humbert. And you thought it was just all an accident that Gemini women seem a ripe combination of guilelessness and game. This gamine of the Zodiac does tend to be gorgeous enough to launch a thousand cosmetic campaigns. And there is always some personal-fall sprinkled into her mix, often linked to her falling rather suddenly in love. Those Gemini birds just seem to be set on a quicker speed. Innocent as a rose—mind the thorns: Kate Upton, Amy Schumer, Adriana Lima, Isabella Rossellini, Bar Refaeli, Elizabeth Hurley, Brooke Shields, Angelina Jolie, Laverne Cox, Nicole Kidman, Rosalind Russell, Riley Keough, Lana Del Rey, Leah Remini, Molly Sims, Julianna Marguilies, Ginnifer Goodwin, Octavia Spencer, Courteney Cox, Helen Hunt, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Annette Bening, Kristin Scott Thomas, Laurie Metcalf, Lea Delaria, Autumn and Willow Shields, and that two-faced swan herself, Natalie Portman.

Often given a dubious wrap for being flighty, dificult or divisive, the opposite is (also?) true: Gemini woman is the one person in the Zodiac you’d want to have your back. She’s a tough and protective Tinker Bell, a fixer of ailing or broken utility, aimed at mending flailing situations and relationships and problem-solving in general. She is the proverbial mother hen on whom others come to rely and behind whom we must all fall in line. She is the best of the astrolgoical bunch in covering the basics, and all the bases there in, making sure the mechanics of her daily life function smoothly, if not too repetitively. In the end, most of us will admit, it is a most admirable quality. That said, she easily gets lost in causes which, when pressed, even she’d admit she cares little about. Getting stuck on autopilot as ringleader will occupy her with busy work, if not mountainous molehills, while she strives to focus on more long-term achievement.

Having her ducks in a row. And also wanting others to keep in line behind her. They like to organize in the strict sense of putting things together, but they delegate any upkeep. They like a good system.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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Sagittarius 29° (December 21)

In our book Sextrology, Gemini man’s chapter is called The Goodfellow. Gemini and its third astrological house focus on immediate experience. Immediacy being what both closely surrounds us, spatially, and instantaneously, time-wise. The sign is ruled by Mercury, named for the god who can travel hither and thither in a flash, like his Shakespearean prototype Puck, who is messenger to Oberon the way Mercury (Greek: Hermes) is to Jupiter (Zeus). The third house also rules the teenage slice of life, age 14-21, defined as it is by our immediate family and close cronies, siblings and sibling-like relationships, which are the kind we have at that age, and rarely after—Gemini making an exception to that rule. He personifies that experience always, being eternally youthful like Puck (Robin Goodfellow) or Hermes or his fairytale incarnation, Peter Pan—wrestling with one’s shadow portrays eternal struggle with duality that the sign of the Twins expresses. In legend, we have Robin Hood, in comic books, Robin, the boy wonder. Gemini guys retain their teenage rat-pack mentality, “boon companions” coming under third-house rule. Robin of Sherwood was the first hood in his hood, if you will, doing his bit to balance the rich/poor duality—in essence, the world’s first Goodfella. In modern culture we see many Gemini entering the zeitgeist at a tender age, playing at being adults while forever remaining something of a juvenile in his antics. Bring on the boy wonders: Michael Cera, Paul Dano, Neil Patrick Harris, Jamie Oliver, Macklemore, Boy George, Rafael Nadal, Jake Short, Dominic Cooper, Justin Long, Kanye West, Cameron Boyce, Troye Sivan, Mark Walhberg, Dave Franco, Shia LeBeouf, Hugh Dancy, T.J. Miller, Michael J. Fox, Mike Meyers, Noah Wylie, Irving Thalberg, Tupak Shakur, Gene Wilder, Gary Burghoff, Johnny Depp, Allen Ginsberg, Lenny Kravitz, John F. Kennedy.

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, named for the scrappy god of the crossroads. Literally, or just in their hearts, Gemini guys are street-wise garçcons de la rue: poets, troubadours, urchins, scamps, tricksters and jugglers, if just of the truth, dual by nature, dualistic by design. They are artful dodgers, fast-talking champions of the common man. There is a bit of Robin Hood in every Gemini hood in the hood, just as there is that of Robin Goodfellow, Shakespeare’s Puck, and Peter Pan, all fairy versions of winged Mercury, the magician and messenger god who, like Peter and Puck, never ages past adolescence. Duality in all its forms, but knowledge, especially, of mortality and immortality, is the theme of the Gemini male psyche. The tale of the male “twins” of Gemini, Castor and Pollux (actually quadruplets who hatched from separate eggs with twin sisters, fathered by Zeus in the guise of a Swan) is hinged on their mortal/deific dialectic. Birds and wings symbolize the divine side of the human condition, which we all possess. Gemini man tends to express his own via flights of fancy and the proliferation of ideas, poetry, music, writing, or whatever magical or Machiavellian maneuvers with which he seeks to make an lasting mark on the world. He tends to pack a wallop with his words, Mercury (Logos) being god of communication. And many a Gemini actor has played into his airy, pirate archetype. Think Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow, Errol Flynn’s Robin Hood or Captain Blood, Douglas Fairbank’s Robin Hood or Thief of Bagdad, James Purfoy’s Blackbeard, Jason Isaac’s Captain Hook, Geoffrey Rush’s Captain Barbossa. And then there are just the roguish, anti-hero stylings of Colin Farrell, Tupac Shakur, Stellan Skarsgard, Dominic Cooper, Paul Bettany, Peter Dinklage, Hugh Laurie, Malcolm McDowell, Joseph Fiennes, Russell Brand, Rupert Everett, Morrissey, Bob Dylan, Liam Neeson and Ice Cube

Gemini is always striking some kind of bargain, internal negotiating opposing forces, and outwardly exacting the next deal to further his direction. In a way his is a tricky head to be in; and yet there is very little the Gemini doesn’t do mindfully, being less prone than most to unconscious motivations, compulsions, and the like. He’s self-aware, to a fault, putting on dazzle and otherwise aimed at keeping spirits bright—even if knowingly faking it. He is, however, no means instrospective by nature, and must work harder than most in the understanding of an inner life. Instead he keeps himself occupied with to-dos and shiny objects, cutting a path through life like an arful dodger snaking his way through a crowded avenue, reveling in covert action and lendergemain. He is nervy and (he mightn’t admit it) rather fearful of the answers to life’s big questions. Gemini loves the world of the living, gravitating toward social hubs of activities, where a vibrant demonstration of life can distract him from an signature underlying loneliness. He doesn’t like to feel things because he does so too deeply for his delicate nerves.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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sagittarius 28° (December 20)

The fixed-earth sign of Taurus is vividly portrayed by a garden, Eden. And Taurus people draw on archetypes the of nymphs and flower gods, who personify innocence and invitation—Taurus is ruled by Venus, the planetary principle of attraction. The sign’s signature color is green, signifying both innocence and envy. Taurus girl is the eternal goddess in maiden form. We know what temptation Eve invited. Likewise, the tale of Snow White is a retelling of the myth of Io, a nymph punished by queen Hera for giving into her hubby Zeus’s seduction—Hera turned Io into a snow-white heifer. Silly cow. Hera is famed for taking the form of a crone who hands out poison apples just like Snow White’s wicked queen, who is vainly obsessed with youth and beauty. Venus’ symbol—a circle atop a crossed staff—is called the mirror of Aphrodite; and the planet’s rule, here, on the earth plane of Taurus, makes physical beauty, and green-eyed envy, a preoccupation. Io and Hera are two sides of the same coin, the former representing the naiveté of the latter’s mature womanhood. Really, Hera tries to teach Io a lesson about female power, which Hera deifies. And many a Taurus woman will tell you that this is a central theme for them. Taurus tends to make an impact in her early life, being prized for latent talents and inherent charms. Adult life can be an ongoing catch-up lesson in taking her own assets by the horns, something at which she may ultimately overachieve. Indeed, her biggest challenge is in not being objectified, resisting the urge to let domineering figures steer her stars in exchange for creature Taurean comforts, ease and luxury. Passivity can be her pitfall, as can becoming somebody’s cash cow. Here some earthy Taurus nymphets who peaked young and piqued interest with early promise of potential: Ellie Kemper, Megan Fox, Kristen Dunst, Sandra Dee, Kelly Clarkson, Sofia Coppola, Jessica Alba, Lily Allen, Lily Cole, Jessica Stam, Ann-Margret, Yvonne Craig, Uma Thurman, Janet Jackson, Adele, Barbra Streisand, Shirley Temple, Valerie Bertinelli, Harper Lee and Charlotte Bronte whose heroine Jane Eyre is a namesake of Hera or Eire (Ireland) the emerald green isle where the goddess grew dem apples.

Venus governs Taurus on the earth plane (and Libra on the astral one). The Venus symbol is emblematic of the Feminine Principle. The planet’s namesake goddess of grace and beauty works her charms through Taurus, and on its people, in a physical, tangible, often monetary way. Indeed, Taurus woman is the original material girl. Though she may learn early in life that an urgent, myopic focus on possessions can blind her to more eternal bounty. Still, it’s no bull that Taureans tend to be attractive in a fresh and earthy, if not oomphy, way. The women are natural beauties, barefoot contessas and, sometimes self-professed geishas who fetishize their burgeoning femininity. Consider the luscious delights of Bianca Jagger, Penelope Cruz, Rosario Dawson, Jessica Alba, Bettie Page, Laetitia Casta, Megan Fox, James King, Diana Agron, Christina Hendricks, Audrey Hepburn, Margot Fonteyne and Nancy Kwan. Oh, yes, Taurus enjoys being a girl; and when she inevitably loses her innocent bloom and no longer likes what the two-faced mirror-mirror reflects, she is most prone to see this as a red flag to charge into some cosmetic surgeon’s office. Case in point: Renee Zellwegger, Cher, Kimora Lee Simmons, Tori Spelling, Christine Baranski, Janet Jackson, Donatella Versace, Carol Burnett, Barbra Streisand, Pia Zadora, Michele Pfeifer, Shirley MacLaine, Melissa Gilbert and Bea Arthur, who televised her face lift in on “Maude”. There is also Eva Perone and the aptly named Blossom Dearie.

Taurus women come with a checklist of things they need to achieve and aquire, and they work it till they’ve ticked off each and every item and then some. This modus operandi provides them security, or at least the sense that they I securing it for themselves. They are sensual creatures with a natural innocence, even when batting their cow eyes at you. Think of them like shutters of a camera, taking in and recording, from every angle, what the abundant world of possibility, or you yourself, might have to offer them. They are efficiency experts, loath to waste precious time—to them a true commodity—on people, places and things not worth their salt. They embody the notion that life should be carefree, doing all in their power cultivate a safe enclosure for themselves against the savagery of society. They see people, places and things in terms of value, investing interest, even the loving kind, only when confident of a solid return; the face varieety of value being deceiving, they can be duped by appearances and overemphasis external trappings, which ultimately leave them wanting. Happy is the Taurus who

She is born under the archetype of the naive earth nymphs such as Io, who took the form of a snow-white heifer—fairy tales’ Snow White is innocence incarnate. Their myths center on resiliance, the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt typecast with a Taurus actress.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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Sagittarius 27° (December 19)

Had rehearsal in a part of Brooklyn to which I have never gone before and wouldn’t rush to go ahead I’m afraid. I’m always struck by how ugly certain areas of New York City can be. How grey and depressing and void of trees or any kind of charm. We did have a lovely rehearsal though and it was good to see the band. Stella and I returned to the hotle and had something snacky. She was going to meet an old friend for dinner and decided to have it in the hotel. I had a little wine and then headed over to see Amber Martin’s “Reba’s C*untry Christmas” show at the Stonewall, as Patrick was in it. This person called Xavier who once attacked me and Penny Arcade on social media was there; I tried to be the bigger person and introduced myself and extended my hand which he refused to shake. We the ones who aren’t the perps are often the ones to extend olive branches wrapped around peace pipes. I had already sent my so-called nemesis, who was also in the show, a quick text heads-up to let him know I’d be there. I know what it’s like to perform and to see someone in the audience you might be uncomfortable glaring back, but I didn’t hear back and he probably didn’t care or turned it around on me. It doesn’t much matter. I take responsibility for having rubbed people the wrong way. But we Libras tend to do that because we can be brutally honest and we do tend to have great expectations of (read: become heavily disappointed by) others. Ghandi is a Libra. And he surely rubbed people the wrong way. Nothing wrong with that kind of friction. Anyway saw some people I liked but realized some other in the performance community were also snubbing me and I thought, ah-ha, the poison had really set in. I don’t mind. I needed to make some more room for new friends on FB, for instance, so I returned home to happily block a few of the obvious haters. After having reconnected with Stella and her friend and a client who were all gathered together in the hotel bar having a night cap. Made it an early one since we had to perform the next day.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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Sagittarius 26° (December 18)

Drove in to NYC. No real traffic the whole way. Met a client at our hotel and had some psychic insight. We were talking about the Waldorf school with the client and Stella, minutes later, mentioned that shw was going to bring up the fact that the first person she knew who went to Waldorf schools was Juliana Margulies, but didn’t. When, only minutes later, after the client left, we gathered our things from the hotel restaurant and passed through the bar only to see Juliana seated on a stool. We knew her in the late eighties when we used to socialize and play charades with mutual friends—she was good at charades. So I said hi Juliana remember us. Of course she did and we had a quick kiss and hug. She introduced her friend Samantha (who I knew to be Samantha Mathis) about whom I hadn’t heard very much in a number of years. Anyway, a very quick slicke of synchronicity. We said we wanted to grab a quick bite. Juliana said we should go to Otto, which is where we were going to go in any case. “We just closed on an apartment around the corner said J.” In a world where one could so easily be envious, hearing of one closing on an apartment on lower Fifth could put a green lens on things. But I’m so used to being surrounded by rich people that it doesn’t much faze me like it once did.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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Sagittarius 25° (December 17)

In counterpoint to its preceding sign of objective, directive, “masculine” Mars-ruled Aries (and the forthright people born under that sign), “feminine” Venus-ruled Taurus is subjective, intriguing, inviting and alluring. Taurus people can be, if only naively, vague, suggestive, or downright elusive. They are all pull, and no push. Taurus can in fact be navel gazers, endlessly self-reflective, and they thus invite the interest, worship and also the scrutiny from others. As artists and intellects, they obscure and refine, turning obvious forms of expression on their ear while they up the creative ante, achieving unique, even absurdist, and elegant results. They don’t effort by nature. As the premier earth sign, these pastoral archetypal flower-children—think reflective Narcissus, Adonis and Hyacinth—embody natural ease. They toil nor do they spin. Full expression is their birthright. Taurus rules the throat and voice, symbolizing a natural proclivity for these bovine characters to utter. Venus works her grace and charm physically in this sign and on its men who are suppleness personified. Consider the gravity-defying moves of Fred Astaire and David Beckham; the oblique musical stylings of Duke Ellington, Burt Bacharach, Bing Crosby, Bono Vox (good voice), Pete Townsend, David Byrne or Brian Eno; the skewed comedic genius of George Carlin and Stephen Colbert; the elegant up-ending of Salvatore Dali and Jasper Johns, the out-of-left-field acting styles of Dennis Hopper, Jack Nicholson and Harvey Keitel, the ironic soft-spoken-ness of Malcolm X, the obscured invention of Mark Zuckerberg, the self-reverential élan of filmmaker Wes Anderson. All such expression being one big, slow side-long glance of the Taurus Bull. Can they be in love with themselves? That’s a question for the likes of Al Pacino, Chris Brown, George Clooney, Channing Tatum, Enrique Iglesias, Daniel Day Lewis, Jay Leno, Will Arnett, Robert Pattinson, James McAvoy, Jerry Seinfeld, Orson Wells or Rudolph Valentino.

Representing the Feminine Principle, planet Venus’ influence on the Taurus male manifests physically, as befits this corporeal earth sign. At her core a fertility goddess, Venus developed into a deity of grace, love and beauty. Taurus is a feminine sign, which is ironically symbolized by a virile Bull. Besides itself being an emblem of male fertility, the Bull represents latent power—the animal is incited to attack. Taurus men are more poised and graceful, if not reticent, rather than being forthright or obviously rough-and-tumble. They have an oblique, if not myopic, view of the world. Just as Taurus girls draw on the archetype of nature nymphs, Taurus man embodies the tempting spirit of such self-reflective flower gods as Hyacinth, Narcissus and Adonis, who even turned the tables on the passive, attractive Venus-Aphrodite, making her chase him down. Taurus man is the zodiac’s premier pretty boy. He is a soft-spoken slice of beefcake, often a just a sliver, exuding elegance and debonair flair. He has been known to fetishize and refashion female

trappings and attire; from pink sox to sultry peignoirs: Jamie Dornan, Henry Cavill, Hunter Parrish, Jack Gleeson, Thomas Welling, Pierce Brosnan, Djimon Hounsou, George Clooney, Tony Goldwyn, Dennis Rodman, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Donavan, Peter Frampton, Astaire, Crosby, Ellington, Rudolph Valentino, Liberace, James Mason, Richard Avedon.

Taurus man is endlessly self-reflective, their seeming insouciance and ease belying a carefully cultivated and crafted persona. The French have the term decontracté which is a sort of negligent chic both in style and demeanor. Taurus is down with that, never wanting to appear contrived in any way,when, truth be told, he can be the most self-art-directed of men, down his paper-thin worn jeans and perfect stubble. He does all he can to look, and make it all seem, natural. He learns early to take stock of skills and talents and to target the precious few that provide him admiration and assistance, even if in the vaguest form of praise. More tham most he seeks to be considered an artist at whatever he does. His main goal is ease, so he might settle for a comfortable success or slice of renown, forgoing a surplus of hard work or sacrifice that might score higher achievement, for a more easeful, subtle, supple existence. He is however all for being swept up toward goals by endless assists and favors provided by his ever exanding immediate fan base. Taurus has a way of ingratiating himself into many lives, and often in a way that invites you to take care of them, on some level. They play a little dense and guileless, evoking a certain patronage and sometimes stirring some sexua element into the mix. They are born danglers, and they can be takers, if grateful ones. Taurus draws on the archetype of such male flower gods as Adonis, the cartoon version being Ferdinand the Bull and his roses.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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Sagittarius 24° (December 16)

Aries, the first sign of the Zodiac is ruled by planet Mars, named for the god of war and representing the masculine principle in the cosmos; Aries woman archetypally draws on the decidedly un-femmy, though fiercely feminist, armor-clad Athena, goddess of prudent war, strategy and, of course, wisdom. Also called Pallus (read: phallus), you might say this steely goddess was the original chick with a metaphoric dick. She is the “first born” of Zeus, and is thus the primordial daughter, likened to Lilith, the biblical Adam’s “first wife” who was much too much a top for his taste. Indeed, Aries women do wear the pants, particularly in partnerships. And they surely don’t subscribe to the notion of being the second sex. They are not subject to men, but can be rather objectifying of them, if anything. Like Hemingway heroines, they are living-breathing animus with a primal, nearly primitive brand of beauty—typically athletic, with strong jaws, and often cute cave-woman underbites, owlish eyes and heavy brows, a nod to Athena’s godhead of wisdom, for which the eyebrow is a symbol. While the Aries male is objective in the sense of being directive, assertive even aggressive, Aries female is objective in the sense of being impersonal, detached, keenly strategic if not defensive in nature. In a nod to her sheepish Ram symbol, there is no pulling the wool over Aries’ signature bushy brows.

If you know your mythology, you’re aware that the male gods were no match for iron-clad Athena. And in Aries women, her signature upstanding stature as a righteous female, with a principled if not political agenda, is personified. Athena (Roman: Minerva) is the original feminist, going toe to toe with male gods in competitions while punishing mortal women for a surplus of feminine frivolity, vanity and passivity. In her famous feud with her uncle, the sea god Poseidon, over the patronage of what became her namesake Athens, she offered the native people the olive, which became both food and fuel, two elements to ensure their survival and literal enlightenment. Human empowerment! And, of course, the olive branch is a symbol of peace, that which Athena and Aries women seek to preserve, particularly that of their own minds. Artistically depicted and described as strong featured and steely eyed, Athena at once portrays the physical prototype of the Aries woman as well as her directive nature and steadfast resolve.

Think of the handsome, angular beauty, not to mention the heavy jaw and bushy brows—tweezers not included—of Paulina Porizkova, Patricia Arquette, Keira Knightly, Elle McPherson, Jennifer Garner, Robin Wright, Kristen Stewart, Leslie Mann, Reese Witherspoon, Lady Gaga, Maisie Williams, Victoria Beckham, Fergie, Mariah Carey, Catherine Keener, Michelle Monaghan, Lucy Lawless, Rooney Mara, Sara Jessica Parker, Diana Ross, Amy Sedaris, Tatjana Patitz, Jane Adams, Joss Stone, Norah Jones, Claire Danes, Emma Watson, Jessica Chastain, Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Natascha McElhone, Claire Danes, Robin Wright, Emma Thompson, Celine Dion, Elle Fanning, Jessica Lange, Maria Sharapova, Saoirse Ronan, Julie Christie, Dusty Springfield, Emmy Lou Harris, Claudia Cardinale, Julia Stiles, Keri Russell, not to mention such beauties with blatantly uplifting, individualist agendas, like Jane Goodall, Isak Dinesen, Vivienne Westwood, Linda Goodman, Gloria Steinham, Erica Jong, Maya Angelou, Brooke Astor, Marguerite Duras, Doris Day, Betty Ford and Sandra Day O’Connor.

Aries is, in a word, spirited.

I’ve always found much treasure in the typecasting of actors as they often get pigeon holed by virtue of the archetypes and attributes associated with their star signs. Aries women play unapologetic and unabashed. They can be at war with the world and the men what made it. They hold themselves apart, at once aloof and armored, thus, one feels, also readied for attack. They are objectifying of that which they want, which they want when they want it. What she fancies is hers by rights, it seems. She is selective after all and thus singular in her ambitions and would be conquests. She can be most selfish for love, if not in it. To connect the aliterative dots she is alert, attentive, aware, audacious, avid and avaricious. She assimilates and seeks to do so, most simply. She is strategic and employs an economy of moves, suffering no fools. She isn’t by nature sentimental, and she will people, places and things from her life, without regret. When she goes, she’s gone, to coin a phrase.

The sheperdess prudently approaches The Ram is a sacrificial figure. She is the original fire starter, steely on the outside, molten on the inside. They are not contrained by a surplus of compassion, but embody the notion of getting theirs. Probably the least warm and fuzzy character on the astrological block, they are attuned to others weaknesses and vulnerabilities and don’t hesitate to point them out. They have a tendency to hold things over other people’s heads.She waits for others to trip up. She can equate others weaknesses with her own strength, in comparison.

They can be reactionary, and in the extreme, forever getting ahead of themselves. And they don’t like to be told no. They are impatient and can seek short cuts to success, the opposite of a slow and steady burn. They can overpromise and speak too soon.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Sagittarius 23° (December 15)

The Mars-ruled sign of Aries is all about not ignoring the obvious. It is primal, impulsive energy. Objective, yang, “masculine”, the sign’s celestial symbol “spear and shield of Ares” (the Greek name of Mars) is a unsubtle representation of the male genitalia that is ubiquitously plastered on men’s room doors around the globe. There is little irony being a man born under this sign. Aries views his raw animal appeal as both a blessing and a curse. He should ultimately learn to embrace and embody his outsized drives, harnessing and honing their power. He may even attempt to transcend his true nature—part rutting animal, part Superman—by way of channeling his native aggression into some Zen, Spartan or his planet’s namesake martial-arts devotion. The beautiful irony being that spiritual warriorship helps him to more fully accept his irrepressible Self, the premier principle of the astrological 1st house that is Aries man’s birthright to personify. Here is a list of objectifying Aries hunks of burning love, some of whom, drawing on their war-god archetype, can be downright belligerent: Ryan O’Neal, Russell Crow, Alec Baldwin, Piers Morgan, Hugh Heffner, Gary Oldman, Vincent Gallo, Angus Young, Serge Gainsbourg, Herb Alpert, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Quentin Tarantino, Vince Vaugn, Adrien Brody, Sean Bean, Jackie Chan, Steven Segal, Russ Meyer, Roger Corman, Steve McQueen, David Lean, Omar Shariff, James Garner, William Shatner, Ram Dass, Elton John, Eddie Murphy, Eric Roberts, Scott Eastwood, Luke Evans, Sung Kang, Marlon Brando, James Woods, Marvin Gaye, James Caan, William Holden, Crispin Glover, Tommy Hilfiger and, on the cusp with Taurus, Adolf Hitler.

Being associated, and indeed personifying, this first-house attribute of Self, , people born under the sign, males especially, tend to be very comfortable in their skin. Ruled by the red planet Mars, Aries in turn governs the muscles and blood—pure red is the sign’s color—and the sign also rules the element of iron, which is a life-giving element in our blood, as it provides the protein hemoglobin, binding to oxygen, carrying it through our tissues and muscles. (Is it more than mere coincidence that the red of planet Mars was only relatively recently found to be red due to a surplus of the iron element? It’s surely fascinating how these sign-assignations to body parts and elements pre-date modern biology or chemistry, all such information being already encoded into the ancient Zodiac, as if it were a metaphysical time capsule designed to transcend chronological Time). Anyway, Aries men are especially corporeal, if not rough and tumble, tending to boast rather un-ironic butch physiques. They often use their bodies in extraordinary ways, too, not just as athletes or in their proclivity for martial arts, or even as the proverbial action man— as actors, for instance, they generally possess what is known as “a great physical life” on stage or in films. Of all the male signs in the zodiac, Aries have a way of using their physiques in ways that seem to defy physics, their bantam bodies being the tangible stuff via which they achieve certain transcendence. Just look at this list: Martin Short, Andy Serkis, Harry Houdini, Harold Lloyd, Charlie Chaplin, Robert Downey Jr., Marcel Marceau, Jim Parsons, Bill Irwin, M. Emmet Walsh, Jackie Chan, Steven Seagal, Frank Gorshin, David Blaine, Eric Idle, Martin Lawrence, Eric McCormack, Peyton Manning, Merce Cunningham, Matthew Broderick, Christophe Lambert, David Hyde Pierce, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Leonardo Da Vinci.

Aries takes a warrior approach to life, entering into forms of training, if even of his own devising, that will keep him on the straight and narrow toward goals. He has difficulty when goals shift; being so rigid can make one easily broken. Anyway…I was thinking Aries latin for Ram, Arietare means to ramm or to butt. Aries is the initiator, birth new order. Mars whose namesake planet rules the sign is a war god who carries a spear, once a staff, both phallic symbols (I don’t think we did the herder thing in Sextrology? Check!). The Shepherd, the Hunter, and the Warrior both emanations of the male fertility god. Both leaders, whether it be a flock, a hunt or an attack Making the question should I follow that much mor existential. Aries men will not follow.

 Aries man is on his own trip and it’s near impossible for him to on on others’ He is aggressive in his attempt to get you to engage in what he’s doing, his activities and interests, chief among them: himself, and his goals. The most solitary if not the most lonely guy, their is a natural silence in his existence with which he’s most comfortable, yet with others he can be a bit extra. Not to say all Aries come on strong, many are intensely solitary whilst in company. Either way Aries makes a great impact.

Aries males are the butchest. And it’s always the Aries man show. He is great at putting it out there but it’s difficult for him to take things in. This buster can filibuster, like the fire sign he is, sucking all the air out of a room. He is the most honest of the gender signs, for shiz, and fairly brutally so. He is boss, and he’s good at it, so long as his delegates buy wholesale into his vision. Voted most likely to achieve singular goals, Aries man is shot through with adrenalin, just one of many A-words associated with Aries, along with ardour, assertion, aggression, ambition, actualization, achievement—even his biblical and mythological archetypes, Adam and Ares (Roman: Mars) do likewise.

 Other notions: Stlaker tendencies (if denied what they want), hard workers (bad bosses), strong body odor, bossy bottoms, bluster and bravado, Up for anything not for too long, thumbsucking and having to change their diapers. They adore without being clingy. In charge. Always moving onto the next thing. They have short tempers and are prone to tantrums. “Charismatic mansplainers. Active adventurous, but not in it for the long haul. In it for the “moment” and ultimately good with being in the moment (via meditation, etc).

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Sagittarius 22° (December 14)

Pisces, ruled by Neptune, the planet of dissolution, named for the god of the sea, the planet of non-material existence.

But not only has he not died but now apparently nobody else who believeth in him will either, which is neat. Pisces’ motto is I believe. Belief precedes proof. Science has now proven that all existence is really non-material, that matter is just dense energy. And that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Something the ancient Zodiac seemed to know along. So none of us are really going anywhere. The point is moot. Immaterial.

We simply pass beyond the veil of illusion, through Salome’s seven colored scarves, over the RoyGBiv to Oz or Nirvana, the immaterial universe being right here all the time. opposite facing fish portray the two-way street of birth and death, in limbo or utero—Pisces being the mutable-water sign, the primordial soup from whence we came and to which we return.

JesusFish. The Pisces fish are the totems of Aphrodite, called Mari, and her son Eros. Mari is Mary whose della robbia blue gown fringed in white is the sea fringed with foam. Eros was at once the oldest of all the gods and yet an eternal babe., Eros is Love. Jesus is Love. Energetic Love. Spiritual Love. That which connects us all. Close your eyes. Imagine, believe, that you are pure energy, letting your notions of matter dissolve. And feel yourself, as molecules, as atoms, as protons, as neutrons, hadrons, quarks, as pure energy, sharing the same primordial soup as the rest of us.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox