Libra 21° (October 13)

Day Sixty-One E.D.A.N.O.W.W. The night will end with my picking up a clam pizza in Truro. I just can’t get my brain around cooking at night. I am still eating chowder (I made last weekend) for luncheons. Goodness knows it’s probably gone off but my crazy stomach would barely notice at this point. This week I will watch documentaries of Ella Fitzgerald, Rita Moreno and Brittany Murphy. I will watch anything new I can get my hands on actually. I finally get myself put on the account for our cable/wifi. Only took four months. It is amazing to me that certain customer service people say that can’t-do, then others can. I will be ridiculed for the manner and scope of this Blague, which hasn’t been very cosmic now for months, but the truth is, I am working my way back into the material that needs to be written, and after this coming weekend, after days of killing it with the packing, something that will have to be done, practically, around the clock, I will focus my attention on getting another chapter drafted, almost in my spare time. It is what needs to happen. It is such a shame I haven’t heard back from the TV people. Try as I may to move things forward it isn’t always easy and it isn’t always up to me. I have to keep moving. It’s all I can do. I thought that that character Mike, with whom I’ve been dealing these past months, is quite the misanthrope and has really shown his colors. The best way to deal with that sort of thing is to move forward. I really haven’t liked him the whole time to be honest. He is yet another malignant narcissist and nobody needs that. I dodged a bullet people say and I think that is very much true. I am enjoying driving my car into the night. The night has become my friend and I’m like a teenager, now, sleeping during the day. If I can’t sleep tonight I will pack of pack it in. I am really leaving things way to the last minute but it’s really all I can do. It’s so weird that she contacts people we should be in contact with together and doesn’t cc me when I do that for her. It’s like she wants me to be out of the loop and seem foolish in front of others. I would never do that to her, not in a million years. But there is nothing for it, as Samwise says. I am catching up to myself, in more ways than one. I have to deal with the issue of the self-storage. The next few days are going to be fertile and fetal, still. I don’t trust any experience that fully right now. I truly do not. I need to make sure that I protect myself. I don’t trust, I can no longer trust. Once you have been dealt the hand that I’ve been dealt…and there will be those who say that I cannot be trusted, which is bunk. I have been trusted all these nearly last two decades. Left to my own devices when it comes to certain aspects of life, I have never put myself in a position where I would jeopardize the core relationship of my life. I did not seek out emotional connections ever. I had the best emotional connection anyone could have had. I loved my life and I figured out the rest in regards to what was missing. It was known and understood and any speak to the contrary would be a lie. I took care of my health. You can check my medical records and see how they characterize me. I have been honest about who I am since I came out to my parents when I was seventeen year’s old. Anybody who wants to erase my past or my truth can take a flying leap. I never lied about my nature. But I was encouraged, more and more, over time to stop advertising it. And I was stupid enough to let others make me feel bad about who I was and to disguise more and more year on year. Shame on them for doing so and shame on me for letting them.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.