Libra 20° (October 12)
Day Sixty E.D.A.N.O.W.W. I made tahini oatcakes yesterday for myself which I had never done. It was too painful. I couldn’t eat them so I threw them away. I was up all night like all night and I had a turkey sandwich and also rice cakes with nut butter and honey. I feel like my body is struggling for nutrition which makes a good deal of sense given what I’ve been through these four months. I’m worried because I’m still not packing. It will turn out that I get the place which is a huge relief. And I had said I’m not going to dinner with Cyrus and Danielle but I decide, given the good news, to take them up on their invitation. I haven’t been invited anywhere in so long. I was on my birthday but I ended up paying in the end just because it was all so painful. I can’t wait for a time that I am not in pain. But speaking with Stephen he said it took him three years. He went back to (Roman Catholic) church. I have thought about making such a move but the ones around here have pro-life posters outside and I can’t bring myself to enter such a space. I am doing the best I can. That is also a sentence I write a lot to be honest. I have to sleep when I’m tired and eat when I’m hungry. It really is the only way to make progress at this point. The setback isn’t over. The new landlord needs letter from the old one and we know how that story ended. Still I manage to get something in place and thus my decision to go to dinner. I have sent her every kind of letter and left her every kind of voicemail. I will continue to document the books and the packing and the dump runs and all of it. I need to find a way out of this hell. I truly do. I just can’t believe my professional self needs to take such a hit. There has to be a reason for everything. I applied for an editing job and didn’t get it which is too bad because I really want some kind of stability in my life. I don’t know what is to become of our shared world not to mention something as banal as our website. I wrote the books. I wrote the business plan. I wrote the book proposals and sample chapter. I wrote the yearly horoscope books. I did extra work (writing) on others websites. I have always worked so hard and supported their solo trajectory and now it seems I am paying the price for doing so. That can’t be right. I know they can’t want me to be left with no tools for building my life. That can’t be right. I know I just said that. I went fetal a few times in the last weeks. I have watched the same Friends episodes like four times because they are familiar and take me back to a simpler (albeit phobic) time when things, joys, hope, life was all ahead of us. And now I feel like a used up piece of clothing or furniture or frying pan, no Teflon left, rusted and ready for the bin. That’s exactly where I am at present and there is nothing for it. Oh I have also watched all the “extended” versions of The Lord of the Rings films. It’s unbelievable. It’s not just an added scene here or there. Rather they are double the length of what was released. They are all four hours. Which means two films equal staying up all night instead of getting the requisite amount of slumber. That’s not happening and it won’t happen until it happens.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.