Cancer 14° (July 4)


This morning got off to a rocky start but we did manage to get ourselves to the beach for a nice long walk and we had an improvised lunch—I made a sort of compote of sauteed onions and cherry tomatoes which we plopped onto toast and topped with turkey bacon. I made it once before and it’s great in a pinch. There was no way in hell I was driving into town today with all the parading people scuttling about. Speaking of scuttling we notice we have ants in the kitchen again (an annual thing) so we will put down some traps. Anyway, the day sort of smoothed out. I got much of the cleaning needing doing done and I will even start packing today so I don’t have to scramble on Monday. There are a great many moving parts and that is sort of the best thing about going away. It forces you to focus on what’s right at hand. This time last year we were gearing up to go to Alaska and now this year it’s Greece. I haven’t even had the time to get excited about it, but I’m ready now to start feeling a little thrill. It’s hard to feel anything though with what’s going on in the world. Today is a dark day in Washington; seriously we have to find a way to end this situation it is just too too much for us to bear. We are in terrible danger of losing our democracy to this menance. I’m glad my parents never lived to see any of this.

I want to do something smart when it comes to real estate. I really want to land in a way I haven’t really ever been able to do. I think MTailor is scary. Why do we need an app to give us a tee shirt with multiple sizing? Oh lord I really am stretched thin. I am trying so hard to change tack and….It’s now the middle of the night and life is stretching out before me. I know that I am chasing a feeling and the reality of my situation is getting me down, despite the untold gratitude I feel. I know I’m in the wrong place on some level and that my life is happening elsewhere. I do not have the weird resolution of many of my friends who have determined what their lives should look like. That’s not me. I am here in glorious Cape Cod but all I can think about is living in some Italian or Greek village along the sea. I have the Maria by Callas docu on screen as I write this and it is 4:21 in the morning. I’m thinking about all the things I started and never finished. I will keep all thoughts to myself. I am setting a new tone. I’ve decided at this advanced age to grow up a little. I must not show another sign of vulnerability because it is always interpreted as weakness. I will no longer give anybody the opportunity to put me in that kind of box. Tomorrow will be Friday and I will sanctify the day. I have a great amout of work to do. And I’m prepared to do it.


To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.


Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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