Libra 7° (September 29)
Day Forty-Seven E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Spent the morning crying my eyes out. Spoke to Brad who let me vent. I lost my noodle last night never hearing from the love of my life on my birthday. It was truly one of the hardest days of my life. I was completely unable to eat, let alone move. I just binge watched and tried to keep myself from spinning off my axis. I had some leftover Margie fixins so I just finished them all up. I will get to writing. It is what needs to be done. (Ironically it is now her birthday as I finish up today’s Blague and move forward. Not interacting over holidays and birthdays and such is really such a drag. Speaking of which I want to pull through the threads on all that I’m doing. I have to think about all the fishing nets; and I want to bring in a little income; just some mad money in January and February and beyond. I have a great opportunity to make some real headway. I’m thinking about a Bling version of all we are doing A-S, wise. Sometimes these last vestiges are hard won; I know at the end of the day I will be far more inclined to dictate than to type, but for the time being typing is just what is necessary. So we forge ahead. It’s all good. Being in the place I am now, thinking of where you are then, I feel so sorry for you/me. Nobody should ever have to go through anything as remotely painful as what you have endured. This whole thing about abuse is way trumped up. It just is. I’m sorry, it’s just not that accurate. And it isn’t about repressed sexual feelings it’s about frustration with what we can call the Eliza factor. I feel like I’m getting there but I don’t want to overpromise anything. It’s L Day and it’s nigh on four o’clock and I put in a full day as usual and I’m going to have some wine and heat up some food. But back where you are: You are very sad. But just know that you won’t be as sad as you move forward. Once you put everythingI n storage and you plop yourself in a new place and you go through the machinations of having been traumatized whittled down to the point of nothingness stripped of all dignity on some levels desperate alone in your own personal caravan showing up on this venerable Oasis then …
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
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