Scorpio 17° (November 9)
I really felt like absolute crap this morning. The celebratory aspects are already being stolen from us. I am needing to rework my wording to fuckface because me thinks it needs to be made clear that we are not messing around. He needs to know we have law on our side. It’s like I have my own private Drumpf sometimes, which is just bloody awful. Anyway now is about building up and back strength. Not for giving into stresses. I am in the business of surprising myself and surpassing self-expectations. I find infinite joy in the notion of getting myself completely in the driver’s seat without the self-loathing and recriminations. Everything must go and so it will. All I need are a few signatures and a signed check. I will get some moolah out to Edward. It is the right thing to do. And now to continue to build my resolve. This is what the next few days will mainly be about: moving from recovery into restoration. It will all be fine; and it will be a fine time to tackle what needs to be tackled. I think I finally have the right ingredients in place. The trick is to let is all come from within and to stay super clear-headed. It won’t be the cinchiest thing in the world but it is quite doable. I need to take a major step back from all that is happening. It turns out we will have some lovely salmon cakes and then a cassava penne with anchovy, onion, parsley and tomato. I was meant to receive a delivery from Eastham but it didn’t come. It was nice to sit outside yet again and enjoy this amazing Indian summer. Watching the rest of series which have been my drugs, in televised form, these past several weeks. I have pushed my schedule, stretching it to the limit, and can’t get away with another day. Pushing it as I am. And I so want the feeling that comes from hitting my marks.
The following blocks of text are exceprts from my first year of Blagues, nos. 1111-1115. I am reading through all of my Blagues, five per day, and posting some samples here. Now, in my sixth year of writing this Blague, by the time I get to my seventh, I will have journeyed through all the daily Blagues of my first five years. If that’s confusing I apologize. Year seven, I’ll only have to read through year six, once a day.
On this day, which would be a happy one, wherein our dear friend Matt was to marry his boyfriend Gilbert, we jumped in the car quite early and drove from Wellfleet to Greenpoint which I love even more than I have in the past. It was quite a nice trip and we got our head(s) together in the sense that we distilled what it is we were doing in such a way as not to require any outside help. Every once in a while it’s important to get as much a grip as one can on these things. I won’t say that my theme has deviated much as of late and I am determined not to continue down this actual rabbit hole. All of this sort of nonesense will soon come to an end. Anyway we stayed at this hotel that was okay. We were in a large suite in the basement the first night but it wasn’t very relaxing.
The party was fun and it was great to see Taylor and Vivian and Machine and Rachelle and other folks we haven’t seen in a while. Rizo was there too. As was her very pleasant baby daddy. Charming folks in all. And we danced and drank wine and chatted. I got to meet Carmine and Adrienne whom I’d really not met before. And Amber DJ’d. Part of me wondered why it is I don’t spend more time in NYC since I had built a life there for twenty years and so many folks I know are there. But that is one of the age old questions to which there is no simple answer.
The simple answer to any question always comes down to two things: diet and self love as ere the twain shall meet. I did manage to take a nice walk and a bunch of fun pictures and find a “blouse” to wear which would shatter the illusion that I’m not a big fat porker. Okay, maybe I’m not a big fat porker but I play one on a podcast (if I were to do a podcast) which isn’t on the list, really. I’m determined to break the spell or curse or whatever it is that is keeping me down.
Vivian has invited us to come and see her show at Joe’s Pub. I believe we shall see if it’s possible to do so.
Had quick coffee at Bakeri and then we were supposed to leave after meeting Emily and Joseph, who live across the street from the hotel, for brunch. We had inquired last evening if there was a room but were told they were fully booked. So over coffee we decided that if by some miracle there was a vacancy we would take it. There was a vacancy and we took it. We moved upstairs; it was a smaller room but I liked it so much better. Went to Label, where we were yesterday for lunch, and in came Robert who, of course, it turned out, is part owner. So we hung out a bit. He intimated he might want to open something in Wellfleet; and, frankly, I could be convinced to go in on something like that.
We took a lovely walk around town. It really is quite more expansive an area than I imagined. I don’t absolutely love Manhattan Avenue, but it soon, too, will be gentrified. One can tell. Crappy houses are in the millions. I don’t get life. We had a gorgeous snacky pricey meal at Alameda and had way too much time before we had to get to Joe’s Pub until suddenly we had no time at all to be at Joe’s Pub. We had ordered a car, which didn’t show up. And cabs were not to be found, as it was raining. One swung around the corner, dropping guests off at the hotel. So we took it and it was driven by a twenty-three year old Sikh who was actually born in America and wanted to join the army because this country had been so good to his Indian immigrant parents when they first came to this country. Sorry but this is what being American is all about. Not about some orange fuckface draft dodger. That shit has to go.
Got there to be the last in line. Slid right in. And synchronicity being the name of the game, Damian was at our table. Damian had just lost our friend Randy, which has been terribly sad; but it was wonderful that we were all together. Ray Rizzo was in the band though I didn’t get to hang out with him after. Spoke mainly to Viv and Elizabeth Koke and then the return version of the car that never showd up to begin with was waiting outside. It was another nice ride back over the bridge this time—we had taken the tunnel eariler. Needless to say, after two late drinky nights, I didn’t feel all that special in the morning; my nerves get shot with too much wine and no sleep and it’s not exactly conducive to driving on highways and bridges in aggressive traffice but that’s life.
Got back to the Cape in pretty good time and had a lovely evening…
We got to skip a day/date in writing, here because, given that the year is 365 days but only 360 degrees, every once in a while we catch up to ourselves doing a daily Blague. And when I say we I mean I. I have actually been speaking in the first person a lot lately perhaps too much. When I work with clients sometimes I use we to say you. But it’s sort of creeped in here. Which can be creepy
In thinking about what might be the new intros to the next year’s Haute Astrology, I think I will deconstruct them against the snapshots in Sextrology, and make them more evolutionary in spirit; in this way I might already be writing notes on the next book. It’s not a ground breaking thought but I thought it best to record it.
I’m in pretty good shape at this point I feel, when it comes to artistic projects and sort of keeping everything flowing in the right direction. It comes down to being prolific as best you can be, it truly does. Sometimes speed with writing especially can get you out of your head and just allow thoughts to flow straight down onto what looks like paper on the computer screen.
Whenever I travel I get really off piste with the Blague so I’m just going to let this be pretty unfunny or clever and just move on with my time. Although I will say this: That I at once feel a storm a brewing and also have my eye on the calm of its own eye. I definitely have a sense of being able to reel the energy, and the circumstance, in a bit at t his time. I really don’t have many good close friends in New York City anymore truth be told. I have some good acquaintances, though. And I have much to accomplish and connections are important no doubt.
Only a couple days on Cape before I pivet to the final performance of our series this year and a nice weekend away first with inlaws then to what is like a substitute to a spiritual home.
A heavy client day today and meeting a new one. Our clients are always extraordinary and today shall prove no different. I am feeling the need at this point to get my energy clearer and more on point. My psychic-ness isn’t firing on all cylinders which is behind my ability to repair; however I notice that when I rid myself of excess toxins I am much more attuned; and my thick/juicy-ness isn’t all that compelling to the spirit I must add.
So we have decided to do a fifteenth anniversary, a crystal anniversary edition of Sextrology, which will be our thirtieth wedding anniversary which apparently is pearl. Could be really interesting to do some kind of re-launch. We shall see. I am inspired to be focusing on the world of design; and meeting up with our graphic artist, Emily, while in Greenpoint really got me thinking about product and the like. It’s time to get a bit entrepreneurial. As we like to say, now is later.
I am going to try to get back into working on some kind of solo show that I could do at some point in the foreseeable future. This new project and new grant are already quite time consuming, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. I will be able to create something of a new vaudeville circuit, at least that is the goal.
Packing. Pivoting. Putting things aright.
My only hope is that the constant ringing
Is just part of the act and not the temple
To say not anything that circuits the mind
To climb directly onto the scaffolding with a series of pings
To see the sides shake from the inside
This is why I don’t come here often
It’s not about anything you have to know that
This is me soldiering on and through
If it were to win a prize would I be surprised
I would not.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360 degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2020 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2020 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.