Libra 16° (October 8)
Day Fifty-Six E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Today was more of the same stress wise. I did see that Matt called I will call him back. I am about to take another month-long ride on the wagon and I’m pretty excited about that. I will see too apartments tomorrow. I need to figure out my self- storage. I wonder if I might be able to fit all that I want after all. I need to photograph the club chairs. I need to get rid of this furniture for sure. I need to figure out the rest of it. I can always keep the bulk in my car I suppose. And use a car covering. I can’t wait to get through this time to be honest. I should be able to make enough in the next 6 months to buy something small and move it somewhere safe. I don’t need very much anymore. If anything I am going to find that place inside myself that was so pure and so happy before all this life junked it up. I tried and I failed. I will never see most of my close friends again. I’m not being negative I am being honest. I need to dedicate my life now to something larger than myself. I feel used. And I feel used up. It’s just the truth. I have to begin a new love affair with moi-meme. The clarity will be necessary in the short term and it will be the foundation of the longterm. I could cry about our first getting a book deal and buying a house and moving to Cape Cod where our lives, we thought, were beginning. So many false beginnings. So much looking forward to a future that never materializes. At that time we literally bought the house with the white picked fence. We planned on having children. Our lives were beginning “late” in our mid thirties doing what our parents would have done blindly a decade younger. We were carried along this wave of hope for some time, but things have a way of changing out from under you, and that desired, aimed-for reality was not meant to be.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
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