Waking up to Facebook is depressing. It’s not because of any one thing like people being narcissistic, posting things that are meant to feel “greater than”, or people mourning their dead pets or parents, or making sour-grape statements about other people’s “greater than” posts, or the politics, or the anonymous infighting. It’s all of it. I have used Facebook because I promote things and create events and send invites to them; but this too has become a bit of law of diminishing returns as a medium. The site now limits how many invites you can send to events you’ve created and I don’t feel that many people are actually seeing my posts. I will be making my Facebook page a marquee and switching all my focus over to the business of Starsky + Cox, including the inclusion of this Blague which, let’s face it, has got to change back to what it originally was meant to be: Daily postings that were funny and cosmic-synchronistic i.e. Cosmic Jokey. It’s also time for me to stop playing all the instruments and to be the orchestra leader full stop. By the same token I want my own solo work to take precedent. I should look at my solar return chart for the coming year. The irony being that I don’t really know my own birth time.
Lucille Ball has a very simple and, one would think,obvious quote about loving yourself, which is always easier said than done: “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” It really is truth. And I find that the first step in loving yourself, or the first symptom let’s say, is letting go of those who don’t celebrate (but only tolerate) you. You know who they are because you feel it. Feeling is knowing. You know in your gut. That’s the Canerian- (I feel) Aquarian (I know) connection. Aquarius is an air sign. It is the water bearer, not the water itself. It contains feeling and therefore has a hopefully healthily detached relationship to them. Personal evolution is hinged on not taking anything personally, even when affronts in life come from those closest to us. When they do, say, in childhood, we then replicate those relationships in adulthood, trying to get blood from stones.
What I love about Lucy’s quote is the focus on getting things done. It is true the only way to get things done is to love yourself, that’s kind of an unexpected practical twist. I would imagine that, though she might have loved Desi, that continuing to be in a relationship with him rang as not loving herself. But what do I know. I saw her admit to Dick Cavett and her daughter Lucie for the first time that she tried to kill herself at age sixteen by walking into traffic, because she had a lousy audition for something. To feel that hopeless so young and to be that affected by rejection and then to become the person she did which entailed enduring another twenty five years of a so-so career, one bordering on loserville at times, until she found her place in the Sun. Of course she’s a Leo, the fifth house ruling “the love you give” with the parenthetical addition of (yourself).
I was watching part one of the American Experience on PBS about Walt Disney. Never mind that they used words like extravert, exploration, experience, generosity, big-boy, paternalism and other such terms associated with the Sagittarius that he is, it really was quite inspirational interms of giving your all to get all you want which may never be enough. So we see all sides of it. He was a super heterosexual for sure; and yet there is something strangely homoerotic about being so into the care and needs of other men while treating women more like vessels or second-hand citizens. All the guys who made up the bulk of the Disney studio upper echelon seemed, in many ways, to be carbon copies of himself. They were macho. They were tall and thin and athletic. And Walt built an executive gym, with an Olympic trainer, along with VIP dining halls for this population in his employ. They had all the perks and huge salaries and the women, mostly paint and ink artists, were in lowlier digs in separate buildings and paid peanuts. There is something so gay about being so straight.
Still, on the theme, he never gave up and he certainly loved himself. So much so that he was surrounded by doppelgangers.
Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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