Pisces 4° (February 22)

Today is the day I start the last big push of the writing year, and that is as it should be. I am seeking to regain about seventeen days of “poldar” (sp?) for lack of a better term. It’s something of a written act of dredging. And I’m just going to do as I feel, work for a couple of hours and then do some washing and cooking. I don’t need much more of a push don’t think, but you never know. In any case I am exactly where I need to be. I ended up saying some pretty fabulous things in consultation with clients yesterday—two long appointments today and one tomorrow. Cover designs came in for the book which gave me a slight panic attack but between practicing what I preach, and the nerves changing to adrenalin, and less than a month left before Spring, I am going to say that I know exactly what I’m doing and leave it at that. There is no good reason to be nervous. But what I can do is exhibit total faith and total effort and I can do this for a few short months. The writing should be the result of everything that has come before not the start of something. Spring is almost here and that means long walks and so forth. I am fine with all of that.

The following blocks of text are exceprts from my first year of  Blagues, nos. 1631-1635. I am reading through all of my Blagues, five per day, and posting some samples here. Now, in my sixth year of writing this Blague, by the time I get to my seventh, I will have journeyed through all the daily Blagues of my first five years. If that’s confusing I apologize. Year seven, I’ll only have to read through year six, once a day.

Awoke in the night and was up until you know who did one of her famous sleep spells. I’m telling you–they work. And I had this series of vignettes of vividly dreamy sleep. S. was talking to our friend in Switzerland and I saw I had a text message on my phone but I didn’t have my glasses on and when I went down stairs, I could see lights on in the basement through the cracks in the steps. And then someone called my name of course it was J. with the fire inspector barking directives. They were there to inspect the new furnace and talk about other stuff. Can we come up? Sure (I’m in my pajamas) but sure. Anyway after they left I saw J. had texted just half an hour before; meaning at seven thirty to say he’s coming at eight. Thanks for the warning pals. Really it wasn’t a big deal but it’s just funny what things people feel comfortable doing or don’t. I couldn’t be that cavalier about someone else’s private morning time; but thankfully we do keep modified farmers hours. I did manage to get a bit of work done which was good and then I got to that place that one often does in writing (non-fiction anyway) where you could line up all the various points still needing hitting in so many different ways, all the while a whole set of other points are flashing in your brain while, as you type, their are even newer points that just follow from the previous sentence which you have to put down. It is definitely the cluster fuck moment in this process where I will have to step away in order to gain some perspective. Anyway we have a client today, and one tomorrow too, so I’m not going to try and overdo it, really, until Friday when (and I will!) I bring it all home. I felt completely stressed out earlier—bodily—and now I feel so drastically the opposite, like I’m going to float out of my body. I’m not really sure what it is. Osteoporosis? Happiness? That was just an old 30 Rock joke. Boy could I ever use a show like that to laugh at now in my life. The world first became humorous and now it has become dangerous all because of the Mango in the Maga. I really truly want to see him pay for everything he has done. Why is nobody calling him a war criminal on top of everything else—human trafficker, drug addict, money launderer, rapist, thief, how many more negative Gemini iterations can one think of here? New paragraph:

I am literally giving myself five minutes to figure out what next I want and need to say. The enormity of what I’m dealing with professionally would make anyone else’s head spin until it twisted clear off. I am going to look up barley water. I am going to search for a certain someone I know who was arrested in Florida because when folks are arrested in Florida it is made known (usually) unless you have ways around that which I doubt most people do. Sure enough there he was. I truly doubt those who would be impacted by this are aware of the visibility of this arrest. I suppose one should let the chips fall where they may. I will have to send Jen and Ian regrets as we are definitely not going to make it to Provincia next week. I will be achieving my goal today without fail. I must make this work even though I am beside myself with a certain brand of distraction. I have to just get rid of it and keep moving I have pages and pages to get through and I will do a timed writing of half an hour on this here today to plow through the mountain, I know what that refers to specficially. The son of Tony Randall made this amazing video plea for funds for his film. I will likely give a little something to the cause. He is at Wesleyan. He seems very smart and very cool and very confident which makes me happy. In many ways it must have been difficult growing up knowing you had an elderly papa who didn’t last to see his children grow. At the same time T. offered so many opportunities and would have passed in the knowledge that he finally had progeny and that makes me very happy indeed.

I can pretty much predict how this day will go I will probably get to about page eight and then will have to finish up tomorrow, which is fine. So long as we have something to work on over the weekend we can make some magic and wow, wow, wow. Wouldn’t it be nice to marry the completion of this material to the ritual we have planned for Sunday because they really do go hand in hand. Oh to ace this phase of life. I know it requires a real presence of mind and a little bit of a makeover (as well as a doever). But today the aching is real. Truly real. I don’t know what else to say really except that I fear it will derail me. It always gets me into trouble this in ability to focus half way through a project. That’s really where I am. I suppose I should take stock of what I’m doing en route to moving the needle forward. I guess I can do that now for the next hour:

The first page is something of a snapshot. Alchemy and navel gazing. The vagary of her internal messaging system. Cartoon bubble, mechanical blinking. Taking a powder, baffling agony aunts and unks. Page two: Self help, embodying loss. Dealing with and creating voids. Emotional intelligence, being a collage, a borrower, the myth of Pandora. I’m concerned that by the third page we are being too repetitive from things we’ve written before but that might just be my projected fear on the subject. Still I’m willing to move through this. The original mama’s girl the myth of Kore. Her emotional intelligence cut its teeth on the mother-daughter dynamic which is loaded. Page four: we are talking about mutable-earth and the power to mold and conform. Prone to victim mentality, especially in sibling context. Being Svengali’d, developing a Wendy complex. Page five: mind body connection, the spica…anyway I managed to get through page eight but I’m not quite sure how it’s going to go in the end the chapter bits might actually end up being for pages total which would make the whole thing thirteen pages; but I’m thinking maybe the last page can mainly be about action items (either as part of the main text or in sidebars, we would represent the Rxs. Maybe we need to say Rx in the proposal proeper. Lots to chew on actually. We will see what we will see. I feel obliged (as I often do) to make this longer than it needs be. But I will tell you this: we are definitely in process, and so we should be. I miss my grandmother. That is a very specific feeling I rarely experience. I wonder why she is hitting me right now. I don’t even get visitations from my mother let alone hers. It’s just one of those things I guess. WE are about to start zeroing in on what is what in the book world. I will be interested to find out one way or ahnother. BH seems to sail through his experience, attacking/attaching to the people I know. I’m going to stop.

I will work steadily over the weekend to bring this project home. There are specific managerial-editing tasks I need to outline and execute before taking on notes from S.’s reading process. The trick is to do do less and be more. I will admit I am bloody exhausted. But I am nearing the end so I needn’t worry my head too much about it. I think I will save as and sort of start a new document now so I can keep the rough one as a record. Would that I could get all four or five pages in the can today that would be incredible. As a rule Virgo needs to be more aspirational in relationships. We will flag to M.T. that some main-text information will ultimately be better served, removed from the main body and put into sidebars. What do pigs symbolize? They are associated with the sign of Virgo for myriad reasons. I can feel the need, on a spiritual level, to be less “full”. I don’t know if I can explain this to you, really. I just miss the emptiness I used to feel at times when I have given myself over to spiritual practice. I don’t want to be stuck today . I need to remind myself of the connection between Pandora and Mary Magdalene. I did find one point of connection but I will have to look even closer. I am doing the best I can but I have to say that I am feeling slightly overwhelmed by all of this. However I do seem to be making progress; and my hope is that by the end of the day onSunday I will have made a success of this. I imagine that much of what I’ll have to say (to report here) on Monday morning will constitute notes to M.T. and tomorrow and Sunday will likely consist of material needed to round out this project.

It is perfectly normal to get to the phase in the work and feel rather exhausted by it. I have to figure out why it is that the barn gets all that attention. It seems like such a scam to me but what do I know. But who am I to judge. It just saddens me that I can’t seem to be able to capture the kind of attention they do on the non-profit front. I need a new outlook I that me thinks. Also this needs to be the last day of saying anyting negative on here I think. It really doesn’t serve me to grouse and I’m just going to let go of that. I am so looking forward to spending a few months abroad. It is just the kind of remedy I need me thinks. I will get a few things done here today and then take another final deep breath and push through. We have been having fun and night so that is a boon. But by the new moon Sunday I need to make a switcheroo. This is likely the most boring post I’ve ever written. I have many book ideas and such up my sleeve and I look forward to getting them into works. I think it would make good sense for me to get my grants in order during this final week of October, then to use November to put together the 2021 books so that I can work on them just once a week, is all I need to do. It is odd that I did a sho w this year at festival. I do which I had more consistent support from folks but I can only do as best I can. I will reach out to all the names on that list and see if I can drum up some more support from them for the coming year as I launch my new operation. It will be so nice, this time next year to be set back up in a city.

Things a Virgo need rid herself of. Disdain and Doubt. She is not by nature trusting. Think of Amy and of Heather today. Make an offering to Demeter. Loss and grief are the themes of the Demeter myth. She has only one child. The pig is sacred to her. Goddess of Sacred Law and the Cycles of life. The Eleusian mysteries center on Demeter and Kore and pre-date the Olympian pantheon of gods. Her flower is the Poppy that grows among the barley. Being an earth goddess does have its underworld tones. Demeter is assigned the zodiac constellation Virgo the Virgin by Marcus Manilius in his 1st century Roman work Astronomicon. In art, constellation Virgo holds Spica, a sheaf of wheat in her hand and sits beside constellation Leo the Lion. Underground ceramic jars to store corn, grain. They are silos. When the corn of the old crop is laid on the fields, this is seen as the reunitiging of Demeter and Persephone. Union and reunification?

Virgo’s mutable-earth status speaks to substantial change which doesn’t happen in a flash.
Virgo reminds us that we are all works in progress
Their brand of spirituality is devotional at its core.
Birds and flightless birds. The loss of flight is adaptation! Their ability to adapt and mold. To live life on life’s terms (compared with Cancer which we should change to Hope and Wishcraft. Super power of Adaptation, which is the upshot of vulnerability.

Virgo dealing with loss and imperfection. Chiron represents the wounded healer in astrology. Blesser et al.  Virgos can appear quite gangly and storklike. Spindly legs. Elvis costello. If the sign of Taurus wants you to want them, the sign of Virgo needs you to need them.Opposite sign service vs. sacrifice

Midlife crisis….Mercury god of the crossroads (after birds). Acceptance. Look at the Open Sleigh again here for notes.House. Opposites. M/F.   Age. Bible Shadow. Makes others dependent on them.

More on Virgonot the competitive type, the sign demures related to its humility. Accepting of human frailty. Sixth house of daily habits not sure if you’ve ever tried to change your but doesn’t happen in a day. The irony of Mercury ruling Virgo whose energy is gradual. Virgois a crucible, a smoldering caldron. The Vat. Which is the word to which the French version must change because they use Vessel (Verseau) but that is also the name of Aquarius so that just ends up seeming stupid. I did see the word “vat ” listed in my notes in fact. Coming from a place of helplessness. Learning you are not empty but rather open. Virgo can be a real victim as we know.

Virgo girl to negotiate the world of would-be coupling. She often gets stuck in a sisterly role and her perspective on relationships can be overblown; meaning she might believe she’s in one when, in realityshe’s not. Not to suggest she’s delusional.***She can thus get stuck playing Wendy to any number of Peter Pans, or in any case, settling in to something of a den-mother role. Often, she enjoys a variety of bestie bonds with gay (again, is there a different word we have to use?men.

There is an upshot to this signature dynamic in that she has the power to play patroness and to elevate her own status by helping others to achieve their own goals and dreams. (Mention Peggy Guggenheim?). She thus makes a great agent or dealer or major domo, natural in the role of proverbial soul of any such operation. It’s a paradoxical helper part she plays, at once playing teacher, preparing others for their ultimate good, and yet also casting them as mentors on whom she’s learning. Virgo tends to live through others vicariously, especially artists and creatives, as she bides her time until she can step out of the shadows herself, using such, typically years-long, associations as her own launching pad, working the many connections she would have made in her remarkable efforts on behalf of others.

The way I comb or cut my way through vegetables in the kitchen is pretty much the same way that I write and edit, a dual ongoing process that expresses my commuicative discourse. That was something I read that I wrote on a note card. I’m not really sure how important it actually is. I also wrote something else on the back I can make out the words Hephaestus and also Jupiter. But when am I not actually writing about the gods I feel as if I always am. I’m sure that made no sense. It’s nearly four in the afternoon and I’ve been up pretty much since midnight. My sleep patterns have really never been so out of whack I don’t believe, but it’s not as if that makes no sense. I was finishing up this book sample process and I’m happy to say we handed it all in today, a few days earlier than scheduled. I’m hopeful but I’m also trepidatious. I’ve been here before, putting my head on the chopping block of potential rejection. I’m not like some people who can throw up a whole bunch of images they stole out of old books and write a little something about how keen and I have, and have the world care to read about it. I have earned every one of our hundreds and hundreds of thousands of readers. Now is about finding them and activating all the myriad projects we have underway. It should be fun, although it won’t be easy. But I’m also not interested in burdening myself, financially, in the process. One does need to spend money to make money, but it is important to get that ratio right. I think I have a natural way with the fiduciary, although I have never once, not for any epoch, been a materialist. I belong in Paris that much I know and I look very much forward to making it my home again, I really am. I think that can work. I’m going to try my hand at expanding the non-profit, to have it be what I think it can be, but I’m also willing at this point to let go of what’s not really working.

Well anyway: Bully for me for redoing the entire proposal and hunkering down to write this sample and getting it in before the end of October. I now have two solid months to focus on getting other things cooking while actually coming down off having been so around-the-clock working. I just got a flashback of Lox Around The Clock. I would have gone there with Laurie and Peter for sure. Funny how things pop into your head like that. I am now just going to type in some notes that are sitting on my desk so I can thrown them away. 1. Harnassing the power of…pin in sibling stuff…is utable-earth in section one? Link to arrested development. Need toe comedy. Madgalene. Moving through; things happen through her or she allows…to be an instrument. As a rule Virgo needs to be more as…the first woman, Pandora. They broke the mold. The All Meets The One is 0° Coming off chapter one four of radical optimism. Beatrice Bruteau. “Myth metaphyiscs and Mysteries”? S. is going to send me a copy of that old 1970s Times piece on the family with the restaurant in Pennsylvania. Gemini: They throw a curve ball (Eris and her apple) at you and before you field it they throw another one and another. Rapid fire gaslighting?  Reality Winner and sometimes a little confection? Is that what I said.

Oh I remember this was what Penny had to say about Ellie and Max. They need to understand themeaning of the word contract. I asked why is it they feel comfortable behaving this way toward our organiziation. Call out culture. Virtue signalling. Who’s eploiting whom here. Too established. Not sure what that meant. The sacred harlot bit is the antidote to the victimization energy of Kore’s rape story. The Spica says it’s up to her.

Being a Virgo, the virgin, metaphorically speaking means they don’t always quite get it. It’s not naivite necessarily, it’s a certain disconnect. When the character Mary Magdalene, a Virgo archetype, sang I don’t know how to love him she was being totally honest about herself, not Him (whoever he might be). Virgo women are notoriously attracted to the most high-impact figures on the planet. And they do orbit close to tony figures who have a sweeping sphere. Virgo begins August 23, the date of the festival of Vulcanalia, for the Roman god Vulcan (Greek: Hephaestus), the potter (mutable-earth!) god, and there is a theory that their is a planet Vulcan, the true ruler of Virgo, that orbits even closer to the Sun than Mercury. May we some day discover it because it would explain a lot about Virgo people, women in particular, securing themselves so extreme an inside track, becoming inside circle, and doing so quite unseen.

Should Virgo admit like Elizabeth I that she really wants to remain the virgin—single, autonomous and unsullied by any others’ needs except those to which she chooses to cater—despite all her protestations/lamentations on being alone or lonely. Because she does seem very much married to some phantom notion that relationships elude her. In mythology, a Virgin goddess is really one who doesn’t want to play a secondary sex role to males—Artemis, Hestia, Athena are not spinsters by default.

In our astrology, the sun sign of any individual represents the self one is becoming, her own hero’s journey, that to which she aspires in this life. The Virgo woman’s concept of happiness and fulfillment is therefore described in terms associated with her sign. That is to say that a life well-lived for the Virgo is one where she has made an indelible mark, a lasting contribution, and in her own way, has been of great service to others and the world at large. The trick of course being that she must find a way to serve her own purposes, foremost, in the process.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.