Capricorn 18° (January 9)

 

This is when I feel the real trouble might have started. S. will be meeting up with Esther to go to the Dora Mar. I will seun and talk with M and E and S (love, like and not so much) and they tell me that they are not renewing our project for next year which is rather shocking and sad. I was not set up for even more disappointment; but I suppose it’s good that all of this is happening at once. I’m getting what’s happening already. I am drowning a bit in all of this I must say. I head to Bethnal Green to meet S. and look at rooms at Town Hall. I pay in advance. We walk back and decide to hit The Grocery thinking there is a meal to be had there. There isn’t. So we go for pasta at Burro e Salvia. I’m not coping well with my emotions. I decide to stay out on my own a bit which was on the one hand wrong and on the other totally necessary. I think I’m kind of bummed about moving to Bethnal Green. I’m also panicked at the amount of stuff we have and how the hell we are going to manage getting onto the Eurostar with all of it. I am going to try and pack absolutely everything into my two bags because, otherwise, I won’t have enough hands to handle all that will need handling. I suppose it isn’t such a bad thing that I have left or lost some stuff. I might also leave a bag of things at P + M’s.

Travel (which falls under the astrological 9thhouse) is about expanding our horizons, exposing us to exotic influences, and exercising our capacity to embrace diversity. The more we go forth boldly in exploration of extrinsic experiences, the more we find increasing understanding of ourselves and our inner lives.Careers should grow out of your greatest ambitions. You might end up having more than one, as your focus evolves over time. Still, especially in your youth, it is important to pinpoint that which you both love and at which you excel. Don’t ever have a Plan B at any given time. Find what you’re best at, then do your best at it.

And now the same old worries and what ifs. Is it really worth it. We went to Aesop and bought a bunch of stuff but I think they forgot to give me one of my products which I find slightly impossible but there you have it. Smoke gets in your eyes. Alice mentioned this great massage therapist and I’m going to make an appointment for sure. How the hell can I bring myself back. I haven’t been sleeping more than three or four hours each night and it is definitely beginning to take a toll. I have to leave plenty of time for packing. We are making our plans too, now, for Venice. It is something that has to occur. We won’t go to Switzerland. I don’t want to go to Switzerland. That was the best pasta in the world from what I can remember. There has to be more to life than catching up. Why do others always seem in front of the eight ball I’m behind. I will pull myself up by the boot straps and have no more of this. There is no point really. The stuff we are seeing on the jewelry front is amazing. And it does feel wonderful to be in explorer mode. I will say that the O+P night was an event to which creatives were invited so I could tell them what I do in hopes of finding a like venue here in London. I cannot believe I have been here already as long as I have. I feel as if no time has passed and yet it seems like a world away, that place we live. This has been an invaluable trip despite increasing tensions which are soon to come to a head. The great inevitable. Does anybody read this? It doesn’t much matter. I’m start to align my thoughts with my actions and to ride the wave. I will talk to the Boston Arts Center as well. And also Emerson. Other places have become a dead zone. The Museum School? Oh, Please.

 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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