Taurus 21° (May 10)

 

Okay so tomorrow at five a.m. I will begin here because this is where it needs happen. It is Mother’s Day and we have decided to have a distanced family gathering. We drive up and I haven’t driven in a while and I’m not really used to it, oddly. The movement feels unnatural and unnerving at certain times, through tunnels and over bridges. The gathering is just as suspected, something taken seriously, but not too too too. We stay for two hours and then drive back. I needed to take care of the visitors once and for all, and we decided to have an enjoyable spot of wine. I managed to eat a piece of chicken, a burger and a hot dog, along with salad and potatoes, cake and ice cream. Oh, and chips and guacamole. Had a lovely note back from Parker. Watched a portion of I Remember Mama, then that was pretty much it. I realize that I need to shift things around ever so slightly over the next couple of days, only because I did get a bit side swiped by the visitors and also I didn’t expect to have to travel to visit the family this weekend. So I just need to do some minor shifting, nothing that drastic. I need to look at what is still scribbled here and there. Turns out nothing worth sharing. I do want to get my head on straight. I have such a big week this week. Wardrobe elements that at once perform a function, provide freedom, functional purpose and impeccable fashionability. Need: Solutions, in the form of essential wardrobe elements that serve a functional purpose, provide freedom and are perennially fashionable. Something like that. Anyway, by five o’clock on Tuesday, this will be complete. In the meantime, I find I am still resistant and sorting through not so much things on my desk as obstacles in my brain.

A corner need be turned, once and for all. The patterns of behavior that stem from earliest mistreatment must be eradicated. These things must go. We try as we can to help everyone in this. We do have a number of clients this week for which I am grateful. The rest is careful reading that is all, with notebook handy but of course. The weaving of positivity starts now. This week it should get warm enough to hit a beach and that should mean air and exercise and rejuvenation. In the process of going back over these Blagues, five at a time from the very beginning, which means I will have read the first five years as I complete the sixth by March of 2021. I don’t even remember where that sentence was going. I had guy friends once. I don’t have them now because I don’t play golf or something. I have close male friends I see like, if I’m lucky, every two years, but they’re English because it means they can be straight and still express affection in a way that I recognize. Anyway, I feel that the lockdown is now really happening. It has been two months and now it’s like okay this shit is real and I’m only fine with it because I generally lead this lifestyle anyway and I could use a break from people otherwise. Okay let me amend that. I mean to say I could use a break from other people seeing other people and making me feel FOMO which is no longer a thing. Dude, I’m still on effing yesterday’s post. I’m telling you I’m moving backwards I think. Anywig, still trying to do the best I can to contribute, to create. I get some pretty good ideas, but it’s kinda not enough. I wonder why we were invited on holiday in this sort of we-never-invite-anyone-but-family-you-were-the-only-ones way. Do people fear me now in social settings or something. I can’t even begin to deconstruct it. All I know is that I’m the pretty one.I am about to work through some major mojo issues and get this all kind of sorted. I have this secret that is so burning and I’ll never tell it. Well, you will find out only because it will be made manifest but not for another two years really so hold your horses and cool your jets.

The following blocks of texs are exceprts from my first year of  Blagues, nos. 251-255  I am reading through all my Blagues, five per day, and posting some samples here. Now, in my sixth year of writing this Blague, but the time I get to my seventh, I will have through all the daily Blagues of my first five years. If that’s confusing I apologize:

I portrayed Oberon at our last show at Joe’s Pub and I am also producing a series of performances at the famed venue, Oberon, at the American Repertory Theater in Cambridge this winter. Of course these might just be “coincidences”; however, since today’s symbol isn’t about being part of a spiritual tribe of guardians, or a spiritual nation of conquerers, but being one with one’s individual spiritual (Self) dominion, it’s not just metaphorical or metaphysical, it’s downright meta, period.

For some people there has been little disconnect between who they are and they spiritual dominion. I have a friend who has been a cartoonist since grad school and has worked in his same job now for nigh on thirty years—he and his Self dominion are one. I have a friend who is the most famous children’s book author of all time who found her dominion in her 30s. Success has nothing to do with it, although those first two examples bely that fact. Some of you may love music and pursue your music and have not had worldly (fame) or material (money) success with it; but you are still convinced it is your dominion. Others of you, regardless of age, might feel you have yet to even alight on your dominion. But even the king of the fairies here is just approaching his. We are the bold kings and queens of our own dominion and our fairies are waiting to back us up. Be bold and mighty forces shall come to your aid. We must follow our bliss in this. There is no room for ego. That means our desire to enter into our dominion mustn’t be thwarted by any second guessing on “how good” we are or “what others will think” because that is not humility it is hubris. We needn’t care. We should do it anyway without fear. And if we are thwarted we must take that not as a halting but as a redirection.

Needless to say, the fairy domain also speaks to the realm of pure imagination. Cue Gene Wilder as Willie Wonka. It is your own space. Even if you’re in a band, or working on a creative team, you have total dominion over your own imaginative happy place. Creativity is the doorway to our Spirituality. Only the ego-less capital-S Self may enter in. Nobody else. So go there. And if you don’t know where there is then start going anywhere on hunch or instinct or inkling. Throw a pot, knit a scarf, write a song, draw with pastels, decorate a room, buy a yukelele or kazoo, ride a horse, fly a kite, catch a wave, sing a ditty, start a Blague. You are being asked to show your Inner Allegiance today. You have your own personal god—your own genie—genius—so pledge yourself to him/her.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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