Capricorn 25° (January 15)
All I keep telling myself is that this will soon be over. Burping smoke. And I will be aligned in my day with enough time and space to make the proper, designated posts and observations. My one goal now is, by January 2019, to have shifted the base of the international consultancy to Paris so to align with our fashion clients whom, we know, have to be in that great city at least twice a year. Otherwise it’s Cape Cod and Boston, and the occasional New York City and Los Angeles. Done. So easy. A nice two bedroom in Paris where we can meet our clients and host the odd guest. A place to gift to friends, especially those, who have likewise gifted us over the years. A little bit of Parisian heaven but a great big chunk of living. So easy to get to Edinburgh and London and Zurich and Geneva and Marseille to visit friends. A chance to explore all of that beautiful country which has always been a spiritual home. An announcement to the world: Starsky + Cox have set up shop in Paris and Provincetown, splitting their time. What a glorious gift to myself. I dare say I can afford it now, in some form, even on what little bit I have put away. I have never been a materialist, much to my own chagrin at times. I traded that for freedom. But what good is freedom unless you take it.
I was meditating on the six of wands in the Tarot which begs the question: Am I prepared for the responsibility this public success and exposure implies? I have to say I think I am. If not a bit over ready. In my mind I know I am, but, okay Tarot, I get it: am I ready in spirit. Am I equal to my dreams? Is that what you’re asking me? Fuck you. Who are you to ask me anything, Tarot? It is me that does the asking. You got that? But you’re right.
Feeling this distinct difference between my mind, which races ahead, creating a disconnect, and my spirit which instead begs for nurture and doesn’t want to go anywhere it till it gets it, I demur…demurr?…it’s not demure. Anyway, I beg off non-chalantly, embracing my confidence issues. But this is part of getting confidence back. This is part of the reclamation. I know there is no such thing as catching up in life, just like there is no such thing as getting behind; but I am apparently engaged in both dynamics simultaneously, such that it is enough to make any Mage’s head spin.
Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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