Scorpio 11° (November 3)
I think I should probably focus solely on promoting Witch Camp, wildly. I did touch base with Nath and Amby and I am so looking forward to hanging out a bit with them as well. Yay. I have to find more joy in all of this—that much I know. Abba bloody sinian bloody Voguedarling. I woke up feeling pretty good despite my not sleeping all that much (once again) but my good mood didn’t last long due to the typical kind of conflict one endures. Try as I might I just can’t circle this square any longer and I’m going to give up trying. I’m reading this book called Self Help For Your Nerves, which is a little out of date in that the terms sedatives and shock treatment occur in the text with regularity, but it does give me insight as to why a person (I) can become fritzed out. I’m going to keep to myself today and not go on this planned beach walk. Though much gets delegated to me I still struggle with autonomy. I think people get used to speaking (down) to other people over time and I am in no way going to be able to abide that dynamic moving forward. I am of the mind, actually that we probably shouldn’t do more product at this very juncture on the diffusion side of things—I am not convinced of compatibility of personalities in the mix. And I have a certain frustration with a certain astrological sign (which I understand others do not) and my life has become ridiculously riddled with this particular brand of personage. I cannot believe I’m already feeling so awful today actually. I was set up to be in such a great and productive mood. Got up, did some cleaning, grabbed computer to organize my thoughts and then, within moments, the whole vibe is shot to hell.
I must transcend this feeling and so I am doing so. I am pretty much reaching out individually to every person I know about this upcoming show and I will fill the place I can promise you that. I would like to liaise a bit more with Mark, the man of the hour. He is such a doll, he truly is. I was also thinking about Barneys and Anthony. I feel like he might be a good fit for our company. Maybe we can have a drink with him downtown. He probably doesn’t drink but you know what I mean. I will talk to S. and shoot him a text. What if he wants to work sort of part time and suss some things out for us. What if he wants to manage production. We don’t know. I need to set up time to talk to Cyle, too. Anyway Facebook sucks as it limits all the ways I try to invite people to events. I should probably do some kind of Mad Mimi but I really can’t be assed. That is the expression. I’m willing to take a little bit of a bath I suppose. I have given many hours to this. The next thing I need do is get some doctor’s appointments booked for December. I will do all those sorts of things on Tuesday.
Tomorrow I’m going to do a chalk-board schedule and make sure I’m hitting my marks as best as I might. I’m a bit frustrated by one of our collaborations at present. Too much time goes by between correspondence and then the party doesn’t quite respond to the question or request being made. I’m kind of feeling like why bother. But I’m going to persevere and just understand that I have no patience and I am a bitch because that’s what always ends up being the upshot. It’s never that I’m a functioning human being whose patience has been worn thin over months of waiting and ineptitude. So I’ll hold my swollen tongue. I used to write poetry, did you know that? Probably not. A poet I know said she got the name for her book from a festival flyer I sent her; and was going to mention us in the acknowledgment but then she didn’t. People mainly don’t follow through on what they say they are going to do. Also, the people I run into the most problems with (I’m sorry to say but it’s true) are those who are in twelve-step programs. How can they work on themselves for an hour or sometimes several every day for years and still be fucking assholes. Case in point that little creepoid D.D. What an asshole. He tried to extort money from us many years ago “pretending” we had a deal in place we didn’t have—he invited over his manager at the time and when that creature walkd in D.D. started play-acting that he was directing us at that very moment. But AA is a cult and especially in the Ptown-NYC world these folks all glom onto one another. Anonymous my ass, too. Because when people speak in meetings about “this festival director” or some such everybody knows it’s me. I’m not saying this has happened I’m just using it as an example. But yeah it’s happened.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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