Virgo 15° (September 6)
Well I never the, two weeks later, met Tony Randall, who made me a member of his theater company where I appeared in two Broadway plays
The rehearsals weren’t in the building across the street from the Time Life Building where I worked at the Book of the Month Club as the person who writes all the tiny captions and I didn’t come in early and mess up my desk and come back and lunchtime to make sure I was seen and rehearsed for a month without anyone at work knowing I wasn’t there.
While reading with starlets coming in to audition for the role of Nina in The Seagull, none of them knowing Laura Linney, who wasn’t going to be blood awful, already had the part, Elizabeth Shue never came in to read and we never did the final scene where Nina and Treplov see each other one last time and something incredible didn’t happen where we barely looked at our scripts and both somehow knew the lines and we WERE the characters and we had this out of body experience and then like Nina she fled the room only she didn’t come back and I wasn’t told to go after her and she wasn’t sobbing uncontrollably in the hallway with her manager and then she didn’t run at me and fling herself into my arms hug and kiss me with her wet face and whisper in my ear I will never for get you and then go running out of the building at which time I didn’t fall to the ground having what I told was an actor’s breakthrough where my muscles were siezing and the assitant director didn’t jump on top of me and kneed out all the trapped tension while saying soothingly good for you, good for you
Well I never had just one line in The Seagull that I delivered to Tyne Daly and Jon Voight never came to my dressing room every night after to give me notes on it.
I never lived in the West Village for twenty years during the best time to live in the West Village.
I never wrote for the New York Times Styles Section, nor wrote celebrity features for Glossy Magazines, interviewing Jean Reno in Paris on the set of Ronin or Peter Greenaway at his studio in Hampstead. Or Helena Bonham Carter at the Lenox Hotel during which she kept her hands down her pants taking them out to sniff them at intervals.
I never went to Paris, doing runway reports for magazines, and field producing for Fashion Telelveion, to be there when my wife was working there with designers, and I never saw Kate, Cindy, Naomi, Christy, Tatiana, or any of the supermodels walk in countless shows.
I wasn’t an on-the-spot reporter for Instyle where I would ask people like Roman Polanski and Catherine Deneueve what the first record was they ever bought or what is your favorite article of clothing.
While reporting on a party for InStyle, Darren Starr didn’t come up to me and ask if I could act and say I was exactly the person he needed to play a reporter role on his new tv show Central Park West and made an appointment for me to come in and read and Central Park West wasn’t cancelled the next day.
Well I never with my wife did astrological readings for friends in Milan and Paris late night, after a day in the fashion trenches, and this didn’t lead to our writing horoscopes for magazines under pseudonyms.
Well I never got a call from a publisher who was secretly reading our column in Teen People to offer us a deal to write a book for adults based on our premise that the signs were broken down by gender.
We never launched our book at Barneys and Parker Posey who was playing the manager of Barneys on Will and Grace didn’t come to the launch and confuse the hell out of everybody
Well I never met Princess Caroline twice, once when she didn’t come to our book launch in Paris at Colette and say slash lie probably that she heard so much about us
I was never with my wife on Chelsea Handler’s show several times and she never called me a funny little nugget.
We never bought a house on Cape Cod in the late 90s but ultimately settled in Provincetown where I started a festival
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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