Virgo 24° (September 15)


Yeah my jacket doesn’t look so hot. I will pack myself up today and S. will come collect me then I will sadly drop her at the ferry to Boston to the airport to Toronto. It’s really hard to be alone right now after this week. I’m pretty strung out I have to say. This gets harder and harder to do. It was so much fun and the beginning. The artists were great and grateful, even though they are the ones who have become so famous. I bet these artists are still more humble than some of those coming up. Anyway I’m not going to get stuck on this. I will get myself home and drop all my bags and such on the ground and not look at them until tomorrow. I don’t even think I will eat today. I might just get into bed and binge watch what I missed. I can’t even tell you what I missed. I can’t even tell you what I’ll end up watching. All I know is that I will be turning a corner this week for sure; as this is no longer sustainable. And neither should it be. I was thinking about Reality Winner and how her name is so unfucking believable durint his ongoing reality shit show. I hate Donald Trump so very much. I cannot believe people voted him in in the first place. We have got to get rid of him. I know everybody says that but I feel like Margery Tyrell in game of thrones in her final scene, if you know what I mean, and you know, I know you do. Do we have to feel so changed and broken. Is this a must-do inevitability?

I will go back and start watching season one of that show late night as a means of trying to lull myself to sleep. I will also get caught back up in it. There was so much money for production compared to the last season, you can tell. Cast of hundreds, and then it came down to just a few people. Journeys took whole seasons and then suddenly people were getting back and forth from place to place as if they had a transporter room. I always thought the Daenyrs whoever the fuck you spell it story line was boring. I like the actress but why bring me down a million storyline paths when you were going to wrap up the entire series with back to back battle episodes followed by the very last where the camera simply followed people taking a very long time to walk through hallways, upstairs, or across esplanades. Am I depressed? Is everyone depressed. So many time-wasters, so many uncarers. I have got to be propelled at this time. I must move completely forward. I feel all the more that we should be building in some related side-hustle to give our new entreprenuerial ventures life. We will cancel our Joe’s show. I will write to the venue and also to our-would be replacement musical director. It will be fine and feel very much like a relief. The corner must, must be turned.

Provincetown, as much as I love it, too, has turned into something of a weird scene I must say. I have got to stop doing the same old same old expecting different results. We are going to rock this house. We are going to get our groove on. We are turning that corner. you can’t stop the beat. Whatever that means. I’m happy for Tony Kushner and his new play at the Public. I’m thrilled David Binder is the Artsitc Director of BAM. I just want to lie down and go to sleep. Everyone should get what they want. So many people seem so unhappy so much of the time. I wish it were different but it doesn’t seem to be the case. I feel I’m falling into that category and I have to do everything in my power to turn that ship around seriously  I cannot be subject to my own upset. I made mistakes but the weight of them needn’t drag me down. I have terrible relationships to relationships I just do. I’m just so burnt out all the time. I have Venus conjunct the Sun in the first house and Jupiter opposes my Venus. I’m not going to sit here and interpret that you’ll just have to figure out what all that means on your own. I mean really you will. I am in a Sisyphisian phase.


To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.


Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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