Libra 13° (October 6)
I’m having this weird visceral reaction to what’s happening and it is surprisingly not a bad sensation. Hear me out. I think because the gloves are off and they’ve played their hand: I feel unapologetically Democrat and American. These people aren’t true Americans—they are all in some way traitors, and we shall discover the specifics thereof very soon. Also, I know this is a bit woo-woo but if one were to trust in a higher power then this all might be one big Icarian set-up for the GOP. They pushed it, pressed their luck. Now anything can happen. And maybe, just maybe, karma will be the kind of bitch I can get with.
I have to start giving myself some positive feedback and I do need to read some books again. Look, if this is going to be a quiet, slow winter then so be it. I might as well give over to the relaxation and get my ass back to yoga class and all that good stuff. I have to stop obsessing over every single little thing or word. It is so not worth it. On Monday I will work till 10 on the Blagues and then I shall work until noon on book stuff. Then in the afternoon I will get finances up to speed. And Monday evening I can review what the lawyers had to say. I must take it easy Tuesday and Wednesday as well. It’s so funny because there was the festival in September, then trip to NYC then Boston and I’m still in this kind of hyperdrive when really all I need do right now is learn to relax. The state of the world, such as it is, is really terrible. But there is precious little I can do about it. I can only move forward.
I don’t know what is worse—people’s FB accounts being cloned or having to hear about it through the death of a thousand messages. I’m now convinced nobody is sending me anything—that that’s the hacky bit. Life is increasingly an unreality on so many levels, it might as well be one, too, on this most banal of them. Just quite FB! Meanwhile, let the rest of us happily have their identities stolen in peace!
We had a nice meeting just the two of us this morning and I feel like we really got onto the same page—for the first time al the numbers matched. I then spent several hours working on the tour project. The irony of this project is that I find myself working many hours on a grant that is designed for someone else; when I’ve made clear that I needed help from said individual for our own grants. There was supposed to be this person on hand to take care of the work but she quit right at the start. The Boston crowd is very precious as a whole I’ve learned. They are not necessarily hard-boiled like the New York stock; they’re easily triggered and have huge chips on their shoulders, I think, because they don’t live in NYC and they aren’t Amanda Palmer. Though many performers in Boston are Amanda Palmer clones. They are very attached to their identities and I’ve never met so many self-professed trans people who don’t live or function as trans, seemingly, in my life.
It’s that superior-inferiority thing though that is most irksome. And even people I work with at brick and mortar venues are constantly jockeying and trying to grab credit where it isn’t always due. I really can’t give a shit about it anymore. I’m on my own path and it doesn’t include worrying about this sort of thing. People will do what they do. I can only have compassion for them.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 days.
Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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