Libra 16° (October 9)
I am spending exactly nine minutes writing this today. I feel as if my time has been hijacked but I also must concede that that would be up to me to allow to happen. I have to do things in units of time today in order to stay on track. That much I know. Enough good is happening in my personal life that I must find my gratitutde within all of it. The idea of the tour planning (grant) and setting up a neo vaudeville circuit have do not in the end dovetail. It would be too easy to say that people wasted my time. But people wasted my time. My allowing them to do it any further would be my own damned fault.
Anyway, I am in a take-no-prisoners position. We have to now present this new piece in 2019. I will get all the information in that I need to make this reality happen. And I will make major bank on this. I just realized something: If we could be paid as part of the artistic team we could move forward with this botched project. I cannot believe I have had to spend so much time deconstructing grant projects that other people were meant to be managing. Either way, this leg of that journey is coming to a natural end. And my raging cough continues—I can’t sleep at night because all I do is wheeze when I lie down. I probably have pneumonia or something. Or well, I rather be killed by a Dickensian disease than by Mesothelioma or some modern-day malady.
They just put out a report that things are going to go to shit envronmentally in the next fifteen to twenty years give or take. That the ice capes will have severly melted causing the waters to rise signficantly. And It suddenly dawned on me why the Republican (Reptiles) might not care about climate change. They want a series of natural disasters they can blame. And then get the contracts for cleaning things up. Just like Cheney did rebuilding Iraq or Guiliani did post 911 (oh really, is it too soon?) That’s why Puerto Rico was allowed to happen the way it did. But seriously, think about it. Who risks suffering more than coastal elites. When will Replicand so anything about climate change. After I they let climate change happen just enough so that the waters rise and all the coastal elites are eliminated.
All I’m asking for is a little bit of a break–that’s all. It’s not like I even know how to squander anything. I would like a break because I feel that I would do right by it; and by doint right by it I would make myself proud; I would thereby make other people money as well. If I had loving family with a ton of extra cash, don’t you think I would love it if they would let me have some of it? Would I feel bad? No I’d want to make them proud along with myself. I do feel as if I wish as if I feel as I wish someone would invest in me. I wish someone with means would understand what a goldmine my brain can be; how deep a treasure my creativity is. I’m the smartest, most creative person I know really. I’m not the most prolific, nor am I the most naturally gifted. But I do spend far too much time in survival mode—not in a scary way—but it’s just that I never frontloaded making money in my experience. I always derived joy from doing and from experiences over things, let alone any kind of luxury. And, as that story goes, I feel I have at times experienced untold luxury, on many levels, that term applying (at least to me) to many other things besides material, aptly named stuff. It’s stuff. It gets in the way. I know more unhappy rich people than happy ones I can tell you that right now.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 days.
Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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