Libra 23° (October 15)
Day Sixty-Three E.D.A.N.O.W.W. From this moment forward I am Quinn, pronounced as a European would. I am going to appreciate myself on every level. I have fantasy of eating French toast with turkey in the middle. That’s what I’m having as a midnight snack maybe. So what I didn’t say is that I returned to the scene of the crime last night, that is to say Montano’s for pasta fagioli and Caesar salad, neither of which was good. That place really sucks Watching All About Eve and I have the following to say: It is sublime for the first twenty minutes then Gary Merrill enters and threatens to ruin the whole thing—his theatRe speech makes me nauseous. I am so tired of being embarrassed. Let’s start airing all the laundry shall we? I am ready to buck up. I’m tired as hell of crying my eyes out and for what? For a feelingless individual whom it turns out I don’t know. I recognize the genes though. I’ve met the other progeny. They are an unhappy lot and avoidists and narcissists of the first order. Someone had one girlfriend once who in the late eighties dumped the piece of ice for someone necessarily more alive. And someone never had another relationship in all these forty years. Another one has never had anybody. And the model child will find out in no uncertain terms that this is all foreshadowing, and the role it has played in this drama will kick the little prick in the ass in the end. I’m already nearing the other side. I will be fine in some respects. I am going to thread the needle and try my hardest to salvage what was, but it won’t be easy and so I’ll have to dig down further and try and find new strength. The original displaced personalities. I’ve really had it today. Everyone hits their limit. But the joke is on others because, although I am writing here, and keeping very close track, I don’t intend to actually post this for quite awhile for fear of retribution. In some ways I feel that I’m waking up out of a long dream. What the hell, part of me is asking myself, have I been doing all these long years. Has this been my life? Have I undermined my own existence out of love for other’s own unfulfilled destiny. There is Jillian and there is Heather and there is Karen and there are many, many others.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
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