Libra 25° (October 18)

I am feeling tested these past twenty-four hours, but you know what: that’s okay. I’m going to keep my side of the street clean; I’m not going to take my feelings out on myself; I’m going to dig deeper into faith and expand further into belief. I know what this ship I’m sailing, and I’m going to sail it. I am letting go of time. I am letting go of self-imposed deadlines. I am keeping my eye on hitting my marks but I’m also willing to be imperfect and color outside the lines. I’m tired of the way people use social media but, you know what?, that’s their prerogative. I guess it means someting of Tilda Swinton is in your picture. Man, I know some of the biggest celebs on the planet but their success doesn’t reflect on me, why should it. If anything I feel it is one’s responsbility NOT to flaunt said associations. It is so very unbecoming.

Well I have quite a challenging day of writing ahead of me today which is fine. I’m going to embrace it and work, timed-writing-wise, from like 1-7, as I’ve spent the morning doing all sorts of administrative work. But that in itself as been very rewarding. I don’t know why I’m so distracted and can’t focus. I guess it just happens but the timing isn’t great I will admit. I’m on the verge of feeling super claustrophobic (again) and like the balance is off in my world. I don’t know how much I have to do in any given day as this champion of other souls but right now I’m feeling the need to self-focus. But it isn’t a time that would very conducive to that instinct. I just have to do my best to keep putting words down and hope my brain joins the party.

Let’s see. Really. Why am I distracted? Typically it’s because I’m so overwhelmed, too much to do under the too many hats I wear. But that isn’t so much the case really now. I’m close to the edge but not dangerously so. And the edge of which I speak is overwork not something else for you people with overactive imaginations. Sometimes you have to walk through the jungle of your mind before you can reach the clearing in your soul. We should be less afraid of our despair sometimes, because it too can be part of the journey. The demons we meet in the darkness are dissolved once we reach for the Light. Or so said a friends post on social media. Thought it apropos that it popped up now. Anywig, I have schaudenfreude sometimes which really bums me out—I will hear of someone I deem to big for their britches falling into a ditch or something and it makes me giggle. I’m not proud of that. I think it’s awful. But sometimes you think and feel things in spite of your concious mind or conscience itself. Why that is I have no idea.

It’s not like I’m sitting around waiting for anything to happen. I just have a little bit of writer’s block is all. So I will talk about some ideas instead. Like, it will be the 15th anniversary of Sextrology this year and we want to spruce it up a bit. I brought this to the attention of our publishers but it fell on deaf ears. They don’t understand that the world has changed so much since the publishing of that book and that it is deemed to be too binary in its scope, now, after so much transactivism and so forth. So we will add material ourselves to the ebook, which we own, and, if they want to get on board and add anything to the print version they will have to ask us for it. We will send them a letter (certified or through some offical means) so to hit the point home. Then they will have to do a little begging. I think because of our subject matter we get relegated to the joke pile.

But I’m having none of it. A few months back I started down a path on the theme of “a serious argument for astrology” and that is the path I believe I need to take on full-stop. I need it to be in everything I do on the subject. There really is no time to waste. Which brings me back to the oy-oy-oy of not hitting my creative marks today. Still you never know, it’s only three o’clock in the afternoon and I could suddenly become suffused with so muc inspiration that I bang out the requisite five or six pages I planned on writing today. Let us see…

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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