Leo 4° (July 25)

Spent the morning writing. Happy that CB beamed in. We will meet on Wednesday. It will be helpful to show someone else the enormity of what packing will bring. Had a little yoghurt and first coffee in days. I’m trying not to become too buzzy lest I need to come down. But I do have many CBD gummies to eat. I will inventory the art work. Not that I’m looking for signs but I’ve been binge watching The Bob Newhart Show and the actor who plays Mary Richard’s dad on The Mary Tyler Moore show, whose name is Bill Quinn, something I remarked on a few months back, well, there is an episode where Emily has 151 IQ and joins a mesa type group and Bill Quinn plays a Mensa Astrologer called Kodiak, whose column is Kodiac’s Zodiac. I got so much accomplished today it’s fantastic. And I also managed to take myself out for dinner once again; and then come back and work on writing for hours and hours. I have this feeling that I’m going to be able to keep writing this book. I had to get the last two days off my chest—it’s crazy. But seriously I will be back in the book on Tuesday which is exciting. I’ll get my hair cut then. Oh god my dream last night. I had giant staples down my chest as if I had had open heart surgery. That is not a perfect thing to have dreamt, by the way. I am looking forward to the rest of this I have to say. I was so grossed out by that spectacle online. I can’t believe that that’s what it’s been all about. I want to laugh. I am laughing. Not to be cliché but I am going to be all that I am. The hubris once again oh lord. It was even my idea to stop dying….dyeing? The point is that my disposability has been more and more apparent. Which would mean the more I fucked up over time the better because it was serve the narrative. Serve the narrative of someone who would record me for not adding to the common good but maniacally dedicating oneself to oneself. “The Letter” said some snide remark about no amount of cooking and cleaning being able to compensate for whatever outbursts ensued. They ensued because one’s schedule was exercise and beauty treatments and creating one’s own brand. We lost our book deal because “I’ll get bak to the book at the end of next week,”—fuck not good enough. We got cancelled. Cancelled, cancelled, cancelled, cancelled, cancelled. It’s three in the morning. How can I still be awake? I woke up yesterday at six after only four hours of sleep. I have to get a handle on myself, sleep wise. Some sow had the nerve to write me in the middle of the night to commiserate. Fuck that. And in the process can’t even spell a name correctly. People need to fuck the fuck off. I took a screen shot and sent it to both S. and J.. This is ridiculous. I am truly beginning not to like these people. Fucking, fucking phobes on every level and narcissists all. God I’m so glad I’m me and not these people. Using company money to create a solo website? Really? When was discussed. No wonder, no wonder, no wonder when I asked for an accounting, I never got it in two years. I will take this up with our investor believe you me. You want to mess with me? You think you can mess with me. Yeah good luck with that. I tried so hard to communicate and to work through this together and all I get is withholding because I’m dealing with a narcissist. She always said her mother was one. Oh, she was an amateur compared to this professional. She would say how her mother went back to school to get a masters leaving her in the lurch to raise her sibling(s) and make dinner and clean. And she did the exact fucking thing to me. That’s the truth. And you can fag bash me from here to kingdom come but nothing hides the fact that she’s a selfish, selfish human, and why? Because she feels that life didn’t give her enough. It’s the same reason why when a family style pile of food is plunked before us that she dives in first and grabs a whole bunch. And why she is so fucking needing to impress…get this…her own fucking family. As if they are celebrities or a tribunal. She is so desperate for their attention which, of all the kids, she will always receive the least. And it is her tragedy. This wasn’t going to be this. This was going to be me talking about how amazing Susanne Pleshette is at playing Emily. She was nominated time and again for awards but imagine…she’s up against Mary Tyler Moore and Cloris Leachman and Jean Stapleton and Esther Rolle and Valerie Harper and, well, probably and weirdly, still, also Lucille Ball. I remember knowing her name even before I could read or spell. In my mind her name was Lucy O’Ball.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.