Virgo 24° (September 15)
Day Thirty Three E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Clams, Pork Chop, which was delicious. Funny how the people at Mac’s would have been such a huge part of my daily existence but now, writing this on Boxing Day, I can barely remember the plot of those very difficult months. Who would have thought it would have taken me until the middle of December before we would have substantive conversation. And even so, not really. There is already back tracking I fear. I came upon a sort of abstract for what would then have been my one man show. The paper starts with production credit. The word Silent over the word Wil with one L. “presents” Liam Leone I suppose was still the name I was going by and the show itself, a terrible title, was called “Struggle” billed as a “solo performance, esteemed guests.” Did I even know any esteemed guests back then—I suppose I did.The piece of paper abstract goes on to say the following: About my nightmare hard days as a celebrated fashion model and wouldn’t you just want to shoot me Polaroid and light meter me reload and focus your lens and shoot me make me bend down cut me something about maybe show more of the stripe pretend to be his wife don’t know what that means and shoot me make me bentown already said that pucker me and shoot me I was only 14 when they put make up between when they thought me to learn and fed me just lean cuisine after something play I was ****** and still my book really sucked I was down on my luck I got lost in a catalog wearing towels with hasbeens then a little voice inside me said and then it actually ends there if you can believe it or not so there’s no reason to go on there’s no reason to save these papers they are relegated to memory from now on I have the hard copy of all my original poems that’s going to have to be good enough for me I’m going to have to move on into other texts after I finish this blog and the next one I’ll have eight more to do this evening and four hours in which to do it so that should be fine more than enough time it is what it is as they say and I’d like to go back and find my earliest stuff I do want to keep going through papers and throwing things away I’m going to spend the whole restive this year doing things like that I suppose but it is the healthiest means of purgation if that’s a word I don’t know what to say anymore I’m down on my luck come down on my mood I’m just down down down down down down down I want to pick myself up this week I want to get my diet and health in order I’m going to have to postpone doctor’s appointments yet one more time I need that dry January feeling I need to lose this giant gut that’s bad building up we need to take walks every day no matter what get up and out there’s no excuse why not I have a lot of resource at my fingertips I can go and stay in England if I want to not that I do I think I’d sooner fly direct Paris and back I need to get in touch with Susie about having somewhere but my instinct is still the same too find a place that costs next to nothing that I can own and put all my stuff and make it small and cute and that can be anywhere in a way doesn’t have to be far away I mean maybe I go just off Cape or something like that and figure it out from there something along those lines anyway I probably have said enough today and so I’ll bow out but I think I’ll keep doing this dictating thing ’cause it’s a way easier method of getting lots of words down on paper so called then sitting here typing and thinking and doing the whole writing process garbage nobody needs that and nobody requires that for me and nobody needs anything even near perfect right now so I’m just going to do what I have to do without second guessing it and the rest of the planet will have to adjust to my orbit
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
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