Virgo 25° (September 16)
Day Thirty Four E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Oysters, Salmon w/ Udon. Looking back I really knew how to eat well I suppose. So I’m hard pressed to know exactly what it is to do with this juncture because um I’m now let’s see 24 back locked blogs into this catchup process of 100 11 or so needing to be filled in and I just spent the last couple days finding old poetry in folders which had never made it onto a computer at least not a modern computer maybe in SC30 back in the early 90s but now I’m needing to pivot and find other forms of material which I’m going to do once I finish writing this particular one once again to reiterate it’s Boxing Day December 26th 2021 and here I am writing September 16th entry which is fine because I was traumatized back then into believing that anything I was writing about was going to be used against me because ***** lawyer is such a bully and we will see evidence of that more and more as time unfolds um I want to sort of honor the time in which I’m writing this I mean I’m going to Max shack every night still trying to um give myself some semblance of a social life which isn’t real because I’m just mainly talking to bartenders but a few other guests regulars have emerged with whom I’ve formed some bonds and um there is a lot of good that will come out of all that we can’t quite quantify it as of yet but and added to that I have had some good times with Dave and Allison and had Billy and Tim over for dinner once but other than that it’s just me alone all day long coming through heart wrenching memories boxes filled forever to the brim and at this side of it I can’t even believe I survived it I can’t believe I’m alive without parents or siblings to speak of or any kind of family whatsoever that I’m here crystal alone in this existential floating spaceship by suppose but as they say in the funny papers it is what it is it’s clear to me that I’m divorcing more than one person I’m divorcing a whole slew of people whole families whole friendships that have been big part of my life for a very long time and she doesn’t really care she wants to pretend that all my so called verbal abuse was all about me being repressed and it wasn’t it was about the fact that she doesn’t ******* do anything and here now on the other side of it I realized God how right I was like she really doesn’t function she doesn’t do anything but move papers around and you know even the minutes that I’ve given her she can’t still can’t manage to like check one thing off a list so I’m going to back off continue to represent continue to do all the heavy lifting and I think at this point I have to turn a major corner and start feeling good about me and who I am and what I do and what I’m capable of and the friendships I can forge and I’d like to be around very smart people and very kind people I don’t feel like pretending anymore with the posers of the world and the lucky ones who got struck by lightning just as it was such a strange phenomenon to know people like that it’s even stranger to lose them in a divorce but I will write about all these things one day and everything will be made clear I just need a running start and I don’t know if I’ll get that if I weigh myself down with too much expense or responsibility you know basically you know I’m dealing with about less than 13,000 dollar a year rental expense which is nothing and if I could do this for two years well building back my resources then perhaps there’ll be some hope I would love to being able to get this book sold and yet I don’t know if I have much faith in the process as it has proven to unfold it’s been kind of good and bad being in Provincetown for the last two months I’ve definitely had some moments I’m not proud of but also I feel like there’s also been a lot of repair so we shall see what we shall see and will continue to reach out to friends and I’m not judging do the Christmas thing so I think I’ll do the New Year’s resolution rounds a little bit more carefully alright well that’s enough for me for today have a great time and see you tomorrow
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.