Taurus 3° (April 22)


So in the movie Jaws, Lee Pierro played Mrs. Kintner, the mother of the second victim of the shark (the little boy on a raft) who, in her funeral attire, confronts Chief Brody slapping him across the face and berating him for not protecting her son when he knew there was danger in reopening too soon. Lee Pierro died of Covid-19 at the age of 91, earlier this month, on Martha’s Vineyard where the movie was filmed….I am well and truly stumped by my own inability today. I do not know what is the matter with me. I’m feeling just completely useless on the project front, like I cannot get my brain to work. I think what I’m going to do is make some food and have some lunch, read my book and take a nap and get set up for tomorrow. I want this to work but I know, with a client today that I might not be able to make it happen. I know I can read what needs to be read but that’s as far as the project will go. I probably should have tried harder and sooner to get these moving. I guess I have to admit I’m a little freaked out now by this situation which doesn’t seem to be getting that much better. I have squandered this morning. It is what I have done. Oh well, one cannot force the creative process. And I am still jumping out of my skin, so I can’t imagine what might be expected of me. Look, I’m going to give myself another ten minutes to try and articulate what it is that this is meant to be. I want to express some intimacy with all of this. I want it to tell a story and I want it to be something of a tribute as well. This has been a pretty trying time and I need to make a soft landing and wake tomorrow to a day of success. I have been something of a domestic goddess which is hard enough work in its own right.


Now onto the positive thoughts that can drive me forward. I want this to speak to S.T., she is the person whom I am pitching in all this, let us say. We want this business to work and it cannot work if it is being done parttime. It must be a fulltime endeavor and Stove cannot be part of it. Funny about A. because I haven’t really been of the mind to entertain her doings. I reall y need to make some kind of leap forward in all of this and earn my keep in a sense. I think because I didn’t get the full amount I wanted it all feels rather silly. But the point is it needn’t it needs to be perfectly fleshed out and rather perfect on that score. As it is I am feeling myself slip behind and nobody wants that. There are no past posts to put in here today. I feel the need for a full body overhaul. I want to get down to the real nitty gritty. It can and will happen. I will get up and try and again tomorrow. I can only keep trying. I truly want to be able to pull off this season’s festival. I just won’t be able to spend as much time and or energy on it as I have in the past. People need to cooperate far better than they have in the past. I am failing miserably today on all fronts. What is wrong with me? Am I a victim of all of this?

The following blocks of texs are exceprts from my first year of  Blagues, nos. 161-165 I am reading through all my Blagues, five per day, and posting some samples here. Now, in my sixth year of writing this Blague, but the time I get to my seventh, I will have through all the daily Blagues of my first five years. If that’s confusing I apologize:

I remmeber my first acting class. There was a German girl who performed a great “object exercise” resulting in kudos from our teacher and sangfroid from most of the students. But I found it inspiring. It just made succeeding, acing the exercise, seem all the more possible, and I went home that week and prepared and prepared and next week I was the student to beat. Only I wasn’t. I was the student to emulate. That’s the difference. The race isn’t for the individual to win. The race is to stimulate all the participants to do their level best. It may be a jungle out there at times but it need never be a rat race. It’s so important to remember that in the two dimensional world of social media seemingly designed to make you feel “less than” just the way the overly competitive people of the world will do. It’s a sickness and those who fall prey to it aren’t happy. Because they are so intent on winning and worship that they cut themselves off from the stimulation and emulation that the thrill of the race is meant to impart. Poor suckers. Without really knowing that this was my criteria for elimination, it has been on this basis that I have removed certain individuals from my life. I find people who compete cheat. Those of us who enjoy being in the game all together, regardless of who wins, understands that we all win.

The important thing is to be in the swim. And it’s important to remember that water symbolizes both emotion and a certain spirituality, the former being the gateway to the later. As swimmers we effectively exist in another element, another realm, with its own rules, freedoms and limitations. Water is Source; so the symbolism of swimming signals a return to It. Just like those littlest swimmers racing toward that egg, on the spiritual level, we do not swim (seek) the source alone. And back being forward, alpha-omega style, we will all evolve along such mutations as originally surface in one individual. Evolution is rebirth, in a sense, such that each mutation, each generation, is one step closer to It. To seek to win, like those poor suckers whom we are ironically leaving in the dust, is to spiritually fail. At the ego level, there is no such thing as healthy competition. What is more unspiritual than keeping up with the Jones, let alone those Kardashians. These are not races that we or they can win. Neither can the Trump-ed up character. But if we let-go-my-ego (sorry these puns keep slipping out, spontaneously) and feel the inspiration and emulation coming from our fellow seekers, we are not just individual winners, together we are winged Victory herself.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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