Leo 7° (July 28)

People are disappointing. A long lost friend and I rekindled last week and he contacted me saying how he wanted to come over on his day off and be there for me and I was so touched. He was going to walk through the house with me and eyeball all the stuff and help me decide how to deal with it. And then the day came and he didn’t confirm and ultimately didn’t show up citing the fact he got drunk the night before and slept late. He was an asshole then and he is an asshole now. So that’s the end of that story. But it’s okay. I am making certain progress. Look I’m not in bed wailing anymore. I’m up and around. Ish. I really do need a haircut of that I am super certain. I had terrible night sleep again. And my digestion (sorry) is really bizarre. Me the regular person from regular land. I have no idea what’s going on but it isn’t great. Anyway I will start to right things myself soon. I’m going to try the new weed I bought be right back. And yes I smoke weed. I always had to hide it from the school marm but now that she’s gone I can smoke it in any room in the house and also I don’t get wiggy. I realize it wasn’t the pot making me anxious it was the fuzz I lived with. Speaking of which I just bought a little but it’s not very good. It has no kick so I need to remedy that situation and pronto. The S. always wondered where I got it from. From fairies. I get it. If I were to be so low as to spy on anyone’s private word, never mind my loving partner which I would never, ever do—you ask for trouble when you go mining—I’m sure I would have the worst imaginable impression. I can only imagine what S. must think from all the hot air that is bandied around. Mostly nothing ever happens and I will say much to my chagrin. It’s been 99% disappointing trying to find that exact friend all these years. I think I’m chasing a feeling, well not exactly a feeling because it was something I had in my youth. First of all the trauma aspect is what fucked and set me up in this for life. I was always going to be a failure at “normal relationships” from the get-go. I had no chance. When you are sexually abused at a young underage—gosh I was the exact age that G. is now—summer before turning twelve in the sign of Libra. Well a person just doesn’t have a chance. I was telling Roy the other night that the difference between my sixth and seventh year photos was startling. I will upload them both eventually. How am I going to make my way out of this house? Everything goes everywhere indeed and I don’t exactly want to lose everything but I’m willing to if I must. The next dentist appointment will not be fun. I do go out tonight oh yes. I went out to lunch and had oysters and fish and…not chips, salad. And they know me there and they know I love the Caesar sans croutons. I don’t eat French fries ever. Everybody knows that. It’s almost midnight tomorrow, not today tomorrow but tomorrow-tomorrow. I am very lucky to have had the night end with Sarah and Jo and Jo’s other daughter and her partner both names of whom escape me right now. I knew them last night. But you know me (or do you?) unless I repeat a name over and over and over and stare at the person’s face I will never commit it to memory. I remmerbed Jo’s name because her name is Jo. But unless I were to say Sarah, Sarah, Sarah even while staring into that beautiful face, nope, names don’t get to long-term memory easily at all. And she is beautiful now that I think of it. She was especially glowing last night. Something shifted. Well of course what I got was empathy…I think that’s what is was. I do believe that she was so pained by my pain that she could barely stand it. And that was just the night Dobie came to take it all away. That was hard enough. And then next day, BAM, no more book deal. I’m sorry but that is totally not on me. And the sooner that shit gets resolved the better.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.