Leo 8° (July 29)
I was having a fitful sleep and woke up way to early. And tried to go back but it was another series of panic attack jolts as I fell. I finally just got up and started going through some of my health files. I start physical therapy today. But first I will go to the bank and try to get access to my many shared accounts. Which I do. Only to discover by day’s end that she did indeed move a great deal of money out of a joint business account into another account at another bank over which she has sole control. It’s pretty ridiculous. Anyway, I finally have a handle on what’s been going on, financially and it’s pretty bad. I have to gain strength now and face the uphill battle. Physical therapy went well in any case and I have a pretty good handle on what I need to do to keep my body from revolting while I do all this heavy lifting. I have notes written everywhere that I will need to pull together (on the weekend) to send to her people. It will be important for me to keep in mind that my own lawyer will be reading it. What this process is revealing is just how bloody selfish she can be. I am seeing that personality that grew up in her family. I remember my first time having meals with them, when food would be put on the table, she would lunge for it; it was very sad; as if she had to compete to eat otherwise the other greedy guts would eat it all and leave her nothing. I come from way more fucked up a family than she does, don’t get me wrong. My parents are both dead now nearly two decades and my one sibling I haven’t seen since well before the last of the two passed away. She is incredibly dangerous and I haven’t felt safe around her ever. Now here I am completely alone. Like alone alone. And part of the reason why is that I’m an insular character, or have become one, who has alienated people, something I readily admit doing. I seem to now have alienated the one and only person I have ever truly loved. I take responsibility for that. I have to make a start on the larger document I need to send: The following document is divided into two parts. The first is a compendium of logistical questions and concerns I have already put to her, to which I have yet to receive answers or achieve closure. The first part includes minutia. The second part is comprised of questions which are more sweeping and thematic in regard to the “set up” of our personal and professional lives, which have been entwined for thirty-eight years, moving forward—this second part might in some way touch upon points/issues which were outlined in your proposed “separation agreement” (indeed both parts of this document dovetail with points in the agreement) and thus your responses to these more overreaching questions and concerns will inform my conversation with my own counsel to whom I have just mailed a retainer fee. Once he has received that, and he and I have spoken on the larger subject of the separation and divorce, with insights your responses will provide, he will be contacting counsel to make his introduction. I remind you that I have been patient this past month waiting for communiqué from her and her counsel, so I now ask you for the same courtesy.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
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