Pisces 24° (March 14)

Paris, Day Fifty One of Sixty…(or Sixty Seven). And Day Twenty-Three of Bikram. Today was another challenging day. Neither of us know what to do. No work is being done because all our energy is going into figuring out what to do (which we never manage to do). We just go moment to moment. I made two soups in the morning then we headed off to Bikram class, which was harder and hotter than typical. There was this weird guy in class who went around telling people not to talk to each other. It was very strange. After class I made some caviar and chive omelets with a radicchio salad. And then we went for a stroll up to Barav to buy some organic wines. The news keeps changing. There was this announcement that the orange menace was adding UK and Ireland to the banned list. I don’t know what we are going to do in regard to travel. We have a flight scheduled in two weeks from Heathrow to Boston. It seems we can’t just extend our stay. We’d have to commit to being away another month, which means another five weeks. I’m actually fine with that I think. Anyway we had some snacks, crackers and Hercule, and a beautiful honey-flavored white, watching our favorite show, with a lovely salad of frisée with an anhovy dressing and this amazing blue cheese. Then we heard that all shops were being closed as of tomorrow but for food shops. So we went back out and got even more vino de vino as we only want to drink the unfiltered, bio kind and we are not sure how long Barav will be closed. We came home and ate some chocolate mousse with crème fraiche. That’s what happened. Meanwhile there is this backdrop of the unknown and uneasy. As if I’m not creeped out enough.

Saw this video of Billy who is still wearing clothes I gave him, which is also super creepy. I don’t know how or why it is people are so damned sketchy, they just are. V. has been writing to S. about the whole virus and where to be thing. I am going to keep a very low profile after once again being burned by a member of the local gentry. I just came upon a photo of myself from 2013 and was I ever thinner. Wow. I had no idea. Definitely going to pin that photo up somewhere as a reminder of how I really used to look. For inspiration not to beat myself up. I’m really saying any old shit today because all feels like whistling in the graveyard to be honest. I am trying my damnest to not only survive but to thrive through all this uncertainty. It aint easy I’ll tell you. We will hear from J. that if worse comes to worse we can stay in her London house which truly comes as a comfort. Nobody wants to get this thing. One thinks she might have it? I sincerely hope not. I do think there is a mass hysteria in the U.S. unlike here where everyone is being remarkably calm. It’s fine. I just want to ride through and if I do get sick just get mildly so. There is no reason to freak out. All one has to do is take some paracetamol and drink plenty of liquids. If I have to drink hot water and vinegar I will do that. We are laying very low and getting lots of rest. That is the trick to this thing. Otherwise there is no real point in anything. What started off as such an active and rosey time really has dissolved into nothingness. I spooked yself out for the first time going back to our stay in Shoreditch two months ago, when I lost that plaid bag I had brought with me from home. Something about that incident started this snowballing spookiness. And then we went to Italy where we were surrounded by Chinese people and already on hight alert. That was over six weeks ago but not soon after Italy was hit truly hard and I feel we dodged that particular bullet just in time. And then when we got here there was a certain abandon that has long since, now, been abandoned.

I feel the need to express myself and talk myself through all of this. I feel altered but I don’t think it is because I am infected. I think it is because my nerves are so on edge and I’ve done twenty-three days of Bikram yoga and, at this point, as they announce all these closures, I am guessing that the studio won’t be open tomorrow. I think that this can signal a turning point on any number of levels. Amid all this chaos and ignorance people are still fighting and name-calling and all that sort of thing. True colors really do come out. Anyway it does weird me out that people don’t have a clue about kindness and what it means.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365/6 days per year—so they nearly, but not exactly, correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
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