Sagittarius 5° (November 27)

Paragraphs I want to deliver people:

#1

I am really happy for your success and I see into you and know what you’re up against. You feel it could have all been different, that you’d be bigger; so you pretend not to hurt at taking the jobs you do, even though they would be great for somebody—they’re just not great for you. So you fake it. And you puff it up and you will blow it out and milk it, of these things I have no doubt. I’m going to try and experiement and offer my services to you. I can co-produce things. I can act. I can do whatever. I think there is great potential here. I really wish you’d stop smoking. It’s so gross. And all the whistling in the graveyard meanwhile. The thing is you lied. You did. You put on a show for your “manager” whom we knew and you blew that relationship because you said we were going to pay you some ridiculous some when the plan was to split 50/50 whatever we made which was nothing. When he came over you turned it on and preteneded we were mid conversation about “wrapping up our deal” when that wasn’t true at all. I ended up giving you a quarter of what you asked for just because. And still you didn’t really do right by the relationship. You rather threw it under the bus. But we have to rise above. And we can never bring it up to you—you would only go on the attack again. It goes with the territory being me: I have to let so much slide and suffer such slings sometimes. I have to be the bigger person. That’s what I am all about, in this lifetime anyway. In the next one the gloves may be off.

#2 And you. You seem to forget one basic fact in your forging through every conversation: you don’t have to make a living. You could basically do nothing, ah but there’s the rub. You still seem to choose to call yourself X when X mightn’t be your strongest suit and, because you have unlimited time and resources, you can afford to be just okay. And that would be fine. But you challenge us all to critique you all the time. It really can be exhausting. And the truth is no, you’re not the best in the world at X; but that wouldn’t even matter if we thought you were having fun doing it. There is no good or bad at X or anything. There is just the love of the do. I would do anything to help you see that forest for the trees. Just enjoy it more and we’ll all enjoy it more. Just throw it out there and don’t need anything in return. Performing should be one big long way of saying Fuck It. And the truth is I do really value your friendship and I want to speak honestly. I do think you have talent and I’ve thought so since the first time I saw you when, I think, you were, purposefully or not, being very simple. Simple really works for you. Light and simple and sweet is, well, the sweet spot of how you shine. I really believe in you. I wish you believed more in yourself. And I wish you’d stop hanging around malignant narcisissits who have become reliant on your worship. Idolatry isn’t good. You are your own true goddess. Do an incantation to YOUR higher power.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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