Cancer 26° (July 17)
Needless to say I am back in my bed today and I’m not getting out. I have never been so depressed upon depressed upon depressed by the domino effect of these actions. I am bisexual and always have been since I was “initiated” at eleven. As happens I seduced other boys my own age. Let’s just say that from early adolescence I didn’t have to wait for a girl to get off with, there was always a dual-purpose guy friend on hand, especially one, who, like everyone I write about on this topic, will go nameless. He was my “best friend” if boys have best friends but we also got it on. We even sometimes had a bath time. But it was never emotional. Funny to say that in many ways we were a gross-out to each other, but it worked for, get this, from just after sixth grade until we graduated high school. By the time I was seventeen I had already spent two years getting into clubs, some pretty hardcore places, punk and new-wave clubs, where we would do coke on the pinball machine, dance this mess around, and drink multiple shots of kamikaze’s, pouring them ourselves, from shakers with strainers we were served. Today is not a good day. I feel vilified more than ever. Apparently, my wife has custody of a certain mutual friend who will not return my emails or texts. Thank gosh for our best friends in London who have been going between, although I am already aware, as will prove out, that it might not be totally even-steven, but more an agent for her agenda. Or maybe I’m paranoid. Anyway, as I say I’m once again down for the count. In the end I will take myself back out and see Eileen Ford’s daughter whatever her name is. I can’t really afford to eat out and uber back and forth but until I figure out what to do with my nights. And I think, for whatever reason, I won’t be charged with the full meal. Not sure why that is. I had to get out of the house. I keep cycling through the same sadness. I still can’t believe I’m in this situation. Was I never to express myself? I don’t know how else I could have balanced things out. I certainly never meant to hurt of bother anyone. Anyway, it’s all becoming sad water under a bridge. I will be forever altered. I won’t be able to live in this world the way I have. The security of the relationship gave me room to be indulgent. Now, I need to be much more vigilant which is probably closer to the personality she wished I’d expressed. Ironic, all of it.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.